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Elton Camp



Booksie Address: http://www.booksie.com/Elton_Camp
Country: United States
Member Since: Mar 5, 2010

Featured Writing

This user has no featured writing.

Writing Portfolio

Up Or Down?

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 19, 2015
The toilet seat controversy

Gordo At the Breakfast Buffet

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 13, 2015
The manager was horrified when he saw the man approaching

An Ebola Victim Visits the Hospital

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 1, 2014
This poem is obviously a work of fiction since no...

An Intruder In the White House

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 30, 2014
The intruder made it all the way to the family quarters,...

In Praise of Polygamy

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 17, 2014
It has many advantages

Malleus Maleficarum, the Hammer of Witches

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 25, 2014
One of the most vicious and damaging books in world...

Show God How Much You Care?

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 21, 2014
Assure yourself of a blessing

A Place To Eat?

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 21, 2014
A name can have real power

The Handgun

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 20, 2014
A situation out of control

The Starfish

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 14, 2014
There's lots to envy about the starfish

Alien Reports Human Contact

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 21, 2014
This planet is populated with life forms of low intellience

The Driving Award

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 21, 2014
An old joke converted into a poem.

Robert Writes His Will

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 21, 2014
All to wife with one stipulation

We Must Be Politically Correct in Word Choice

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 20, 2014
Call nothing what is really is

On Reading a Poem That I Don't Understand

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 20, 2014
Sometimes I don't have a clue as to what a poem means

An Abandoned Pioneer Cabin

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 20, 2014
Decaying evidence of a family who once lived

No Nursing Home for Them

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 18, 2014
The king and queen of the open road

The Reality Versus the Claim

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 18, 2014
Meeting an online acquaintance

The Red-Faced Sunday School Teacher

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 17, 2014
The teacher was rendered speechless by the child's answer

His School Project Is Due Tomorrow

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 16, 2014
He woke his mom at 2:30 a.m. with an urgent demand.

Never Give Up

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 16, 2014
Learning from a frog

The Ultimate Cool Character

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 15, 2014
An epic song starts anytime he enters the room. How cool...

Hortense Reads a Romance Novel

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 14, 2014
He was a real stallion of a man.

The Ultimate Punishment

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 14, 2014
Though undeceived by church lies, Clyde had a frightening...

How To Give the Bad News

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 11, 2014
A son's cagey trick

The Rebellion of the Shadows

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 11, 2014
The revolt lasted only a single day

The Jackass Caught In A Hailstorm

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 10, 2014
When under verbal attack

A Visitor From Outer Space

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 7, 2014
Most likely he is already on the way!

The Family Philosophunculist

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 7, 2014
How we dread his annual visits

The Advantages of Alphamegamia

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 7, 2014
An arrangement with great practical values

The Fall of the Onomatopoeian Empire

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 6, 2014
A literary device that is useless during a siege

We Promise To Visit Soon

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Apr 5, 2014
Old Dad peers hopefully out the window

Grandma Gets a Computer

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 31, 2014
The Generation Gap

Correct Me If I'm Wrong

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 31, 2014
Advice to young men from an old geezer

The Hitchhiker

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 30, 2014
Won't somebody help a guy out?

The Ultimate Blonde Joke

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 29, 2014
I probably should be ashamed of this one

Be Nice To Fat People

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 29, 2014
An outrageous, politically incorrect write

The Indignant Reverend

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 28, 2014
What mortal sin was he deploring?

A Gorilla Contemplates His Place In Life

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 26, 2014
He decides he got the better outcome

The Rope Swing

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 26, 2014
A joy of childhood I'd like to experience again

The Honesty of Children

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 24, 2014
It's necessary to teach them when and how to tell lies.

Suicidal Deer Next One Mile

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 19, 2014
A menace on the highway

Snow White - The Rest of the Story

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 18, 2014
The lesser-known sequel

Superman's Other Achilles' Heel

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 14, 2014
Now the rest of the story can be revealed

Seeking Riley Gray's Fabulous Treasure

Short Story by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 11, 2014
This partly true story is set in Fayetteville, Alabama in...

A Modest Proposal

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 9, 2014
Providing better care for the elderly poor

Why Dogs Sniff Each Other's Behinds

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 5, 2014
Based on a story told me by an old uncle when I was a child

Honesty on the Internet

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Mar 1, 2014
A wondrous land inhabited only by exceptional people

The Main Cause of One's Troubles

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 28, 2014
Look to the true source

In Praise of Lady Macbeth

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 27, 2014
Having a weak-willed husband must have been a trial

An Advantage of Old Age

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 25, 2014
One of the few good things about being elderly

The Ever-Seeing Presence

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 25, 2014
I am always here, even if I'm not posting. I am...

A One-Way Trip To Mars

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 23, 2014
Over 100,000 people have completed applications to be...

No Gays Allowed

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 22, 2014
Several state legislatures are about to pass laws...

The Cadet

Short Story by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 21, 2014
A science fiction story with some unexpected twists

A Storm Front Approaches

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 20, 2014
From northwest Alabama on Thursday night

Paul Is On To Their Scheme

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 19, 2014
On paranoia

A Heroic Pit Bull

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 18, 2014
Bruiser's death was widely lamented

I'm Fine and Other Lies

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 17, 2014
Social lies we all tell

Windows Frozen

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 17, 2014
Granny follows her grandson's advice

Are They Twins?

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 16, 2014
Dedicated to C.D. who has heard these questions countless...

The Consequences of Typos

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 14, 2014
What if these had occurred in literary works?

A Winter Storm in 1920

Script by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 13, 2014
A glimpse into daily life in the rural South in the early...

The Icy Hand of Winter

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 12, 2014
A reminder of nature's power

Why Husbands Never Do Laundry

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 11, 2014
Joe followed the advice of his buddies

The Forgotten Wedding Anniversary

Novel by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 11, 2014
You knew what to expect when you married

Women Have Some Nerve!

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 10, 2014
Toilet seat up or down?

The Falling Elevator

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 9, 2014
Meg screamed as the elevator plunged thirty stories

Your Baby Looks Very Interesting

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 7, 2014
Tell me how much you like my new baby

The Tragedy of Dementia

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 7, 2014
All that was Lora faded away

In Other Words

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 6, 2014
Why use plain words when euphemisms are readily available?

Akito's World Comes To An End

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 4, 2014
That's how it is with children of war

For Sale Baby Outfits Never Worn

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 2, 2014
Absolutely not one of my humor writes.

Looking Into the Fun-House Mirror

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Feb 1, 2014
Mirrors, distorted and accurate

The Sweetheart Internet Scam

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 30, 2014
A wise person listens to warning

The Big, Bad Wolf on the Prowl

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 29, 2014
A real estate analogy to which millions can relate

Putting Your Mouth in Your Foot

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 29, 2014
How to accomplish this feat

Modern Driver Education -- a Satire

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 29, 2014
Teaching necessary skills to drivers

Those Horrible Christmas Decorations

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 28, 2014
It's nearly February and they're still there

Behind the Mask

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 27, 2014
What if the mask should fall?

The Sexist Airline Passenger

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 27, 2014
Antiquated views on gender roles

A Visit To the Movie Theater

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 27, 2014
On the high cost of refreshments

The Hypocritical Cop

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 26, 2014
No excuse is good enough for distracted driving, he...

Michelangelo Gets Caught

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 25, 2014
The lesser-known story of the painting of the ceiling of...

The Joy of Living in the North

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 25, 2014
Alabama is where I prefer to live

Deer Me!

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 25, 2014
A model of speed and grace?

The Restaurant Health Inspection

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 24, 2014
The inspector came earlier than anticipated

How To Get Help From the Police

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 24, 2014
Humor only--do not attempt this!

After the Apocalypse

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 21, 2014
The new Adam and Eve?

The Odious Shopping Cart

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 20, 2014
There must be a better way

The Tattoo Parlor

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 19, 2014
There's an incredible sign in the window

He's an African Muslim

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 18, 2014
Baseless attacks by the lunatic fringe

Frightening Questions from the Stewardess

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 18, 2014
Perhaps this is "gallows humor"

Marooned

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 18, 2014
Meg and Mae's joy turned abruptly to disappointment

Pompous Names for Beauty Pageants

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 18, 2014
Miss Universe? Come on, get real!

The Pastor's Epiphany

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 16, 2014
About the offensive practices of Westboro Baptist Church

The Girls' Night Out

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 15, 2014
The evening didn't turn out like they had hoped

A Snoop in the House

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 15, 2014
Our privacy is in trustworthy hands......

The Athlete's Denial

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 15, 2014
Did he or didn't he? I don't know.

The Family Reunion

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 14, 2014
It's an incredible sight

When Merit Pay Would Save Money

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 14, 2014
A suggestion that has no chance of being accepted

The Unwelcome Visitor

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 13, 2014
He's coming again although we have made it clear we don't...

Meg Endures the Daily Grind

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 12, 2014
The challenge of child rearing

Roscoe and His Ex

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 11, 2014
Revenge at last

The Man Behind the Curtain

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 11, 2014
A changing view of Edward Snowden

The Best Day of the Year for Mothers

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 10, 2014
They look forward to it eagerly

Colder Than the Surface of Mars

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 5, 2014
Much of the USA is caught in an Arctic blast

Hoodwinking Little Red

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 5, 2014
Learning from an old fairy tale

The Peeping Tom

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 5, 2014
Some crimes are self-punishing

The Aliens Are Coming

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 3, 2014
A spate of new UFO sightings in California

Our Last Class Reunion

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jan 2, 2014
Time is the fire in which we all burn

Can't You See I'm On the Phone!

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 27, 2013
This is a second attempt on this concept. I wrote the...

Cell Phone Rudeness

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 26, 2013
Some people have no consideration at all

Dear, Let's Go Shopping Today

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 24, 2013
Every husband's nightmare

Truth from the Bible About the Birth of Jesus

Article by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 24, 2013
Intended for those who put Bible truth above church...

My Least Favorite Time of Year

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 22, 2013
It's dark and dreary in more ways than one

Patsy's Precious Pooch

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 20, 2013
Patsy adores her fur child

Emptying the Spam Folder

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 17, 2013
How gullible do they think I am?

The Reflection

Novel by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 15, 2013
He saw the man he used to be

The Attic Treasure Trove

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 15, 2013
"Your mother packed these boxes"

All Our Yesterdays

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 15, 2013
Time crept in with tiny baby steps

The Cruelest Fate

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 15, 2013
"It's dementia," the doctor said.

Credit Where None Is Due

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 14, 2013
The orchestra conductor and the sign language interpreter

The Last Photograph

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 14, 2013
"This one's going in a nature photography contest!"

Rob Researches His Ancestry

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 13, 2013
It's a splendid thing to come from a king

When a Hell's Angel Gets Old

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 8, 2013
Zeke was once a member of a fearsome motorcycle gang

Psycho Santa

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 7, 2013
The North Pole is a boring place

There's No Way To Win

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 6, 2013
Damned if you do, damned if you don't

A Rare Foggy Morning

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 3, 2013
I awoke to a dream-like world

The Miser's Burial

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Dec 2, 2013
A man with a pathological love of money

The Practical Joker

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 27, 2013
Practical jokes are foolishly dangerous

Facebook's Missing Feature

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 18, 2013
Where is the "Dislike" button?

Poor Joe Is Disabled

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 17, 2013
This refers to Social Security disability fraud which is...

Making the In-Laws Welcome

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 17, 2013
Fred showed the visitors to the guest room

Fred Regrets Having Retired

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 15, 2013
It was an unexpected development

Technology Has Passed Gramps By

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 10, 2013
To fail to advance is to move backward

Welcome To the Dog House

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 10, 2013
A disgusting change in the view of dogs

We Don't Serve Cheeseburgers at Downton

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 9, 2013
Mrs. Patmore hold to established standards

Newspapers Are So Last Century

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 9, 2013
Why I still subscribe to one

An Ideal Job Is Easily Found

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 9, 2013
One who can talk, hear and key is well qualified

Before There Was Google

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 8, 2013
A revolution in information accessibility

A Lesson In Driving Courtesy

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 8, 2013
Who knows the sort of person in another vehicle!

Beware of GOCE

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 7, 2013
Out-of-control satellite soon to crash at unknown location.

Joe Can't Go Home Again

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 6, 2013
The place where he spend most of his life is being torn...

The Dental Hygienist's Nightmare

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 6, 2013
Gina was last seen roaring out of the employee parking lot.

Those Pesky Typos

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Nov 5, 2013
I hope there are none in this. I checked it several dimes.

Buying From a Bogus Online Pharmacy

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 31, 2013
Meg decided to save money on her medicine.

A Hopeless Task

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 31, 2013
A man who claims to understand women lies about other...

At Last a Candid Memorial Plaque

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 29, 2013
The bronze plaque was attached to a park bench

The Worst Table in the House

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 28, 2013
We quickly learned why it was available on a crowded night.

A Dog On the Bed

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 27, 2013
Experts say that half of house dogs sleep with their owners!

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 26, 2013
Ned had a guilty look upon hearing his son's words

Wilbur Gets WiFi Free

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 25, 2013
It's right there in his home

The Heart Has No Wrinkles

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 25, 2013
Not one of my humor writes

A Bovine Analogy

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 25, 2013
Thank goodness for females!

Jake Has Nowhere To Go

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 24, 2013
He was last seen slowly walking away into the rain of a...

The Mathematics Plague

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 22, 2013
Educational requirements out of touch with reality

The Old Maid Gets a Goat

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 20, 2013
Miss Prunella makes a mistake

A Redneck's First Bagel

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 19, 2013
Bubba made his first visit to the big city

The Missing Cellular Phone

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 19, 2013
A terrible, sinking feeling

Bedtime Is Eight

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 18, 2013
At that hour, a remarkable transformation may occur

Don't Take This the Wrong Way

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 17, 2013
Words said prior to an insult

The Most Offensive C-Word

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 16, 2013
This one requires awareness of current events in the USA

When I Die, I'm Taking You With Me

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 15, 2013
Learn who may be saying this

A Candid Answer to the Boss

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 14, 2013
Roscoe decided to try the truth

Grandma Finds Some Tea

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 14, 2013
It was the best she ever drank

Matilda Enjoys the Park With Her Son

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 13, 2013
They go there every day

Each of Us To His Own Taste

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 13, 2013
Written after see a display of canned squid

The Senile Chemistry Professor

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 12, 2013
Old Doc finally made a major blunder

German Shepherd For Sale Really Cheap

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 12, 2013
Meg had to dispose of her vicious dog

There's a Bear in the Backyard

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 11, 2013
How can human and animal needs be balanced?

Schrodinger's Cat Isn't Both Dead and Alive

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 10, 2013
This will be incomprehensible to anyone unfamiliar with...

Come See Our New Baby

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 10, 2013
We couldn't believe our eyes when we saw Mitzi

A Stinking Dog In the House

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 9, 2013
Our noses knew

Gary Confesses To Murder

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 9, 2013
Gary won't allow his lawyer to introduce certain evidence

The Traffic Stop

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 8, 2013
Dewey learns a costly lesson

A Redneck Visits Venice

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Oct 2, 2013
Bubba decides to soak up some culture by foreign travel

Paranoid Pete Is Prepared

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 30, 2013
He's ready for whatever comes

The Redneck's Outdoor Kitchen

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 30, 2013
Bubba can now cook in his yard like the rich folks

Make Way For the Mighty Titanic

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 27, 2013
God himself couldn't sink the ship

The Seedy Motel

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 27, 2013
It was late and we were tired

It Came From Behind the Mirror

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 23, 2013
A scary poem, not one of my typical humor writes.

The Man of the House

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 16, 2013
Tom gets a lesson in reality

The Internet Life of Buxom Bertha

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 16, 2013
Bertha has a secret life known only to her

Bill Makes Another Unwise Facebook Posting

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 16, 2013
The USA government spies on Internet postings, especially...

They Had "No Idea" It Was Stolen

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 16, 2013
In the USA, stolen merchandise bought unwittingly is...

Better Teacher Evaluation Needed

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 11, 2013
Sadly, these examples are real and I could have listed...

Caught Watching Porn on the Internet

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 10, 2013
I didn't think Bruce capable of even turning on the...

Security Breaches at USA Nuclear Missile Base

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 10, 2013
Invaders have been regularly constructing tunnels under...

Spare That Cricket

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 9, 2013
There must be something wrong in wanting to silence any...

Look Much Larger Instantly

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 9, 2013
Ron found the product did exactly as advertised

The Sun's Magnetic Field About To Reverse

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 8, 2013
At most, it is a few months away and might even begin...

The Wrecking Company

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 8, 2013
Hey, everybody makes a mistake now and then

The Mid-Life Crisis

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 7, 2013
Fred felt life was passing him by

A Summons From the Neighborhood Association

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 6, 2013
Fred learns the meaning of "binding agreement"

Get Your Dental Work at Wal-Mart

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Sep 3, 2013
There is even an express line for those with 12 teeth or...

I Have Got To Do Something About My Neighbor

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 26, 2013
I feel morally obligated to intervene

What Does It All Mean?

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 25, 2013
These are troubling times

A Car Too Small

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 25, 2013
Buying the tiny car wasn't a smart move

The Good Reverend Has Spoken

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 23, 2013
Consider the possibility that he is mistaken

The USA Religious Right Reinvents Jesus

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 23, 2013
They need a bogus version that fits with their political...

Pete Knows How To Enjoy a Meal

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 23, 2013
He may eat the same thing twice in a day

Drinkers Anonymous

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 23, 2013
Brutus' family locked him in a cage because of his...

The Blind and Deaf

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 21, 2013
This describes a disturbing situation in the USA

Religion in the Public Schools

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 21, 2013
Some in the USA want to impose their religious beliefs on...

A Filling Station Solves a Problem

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 21, 2013
Vanity, thy name is woman

The Anti-Hunting League Speaks Out

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 21, 2013
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds

Where We Once Lived

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 21, 2013
Our former home has become an eyesore

The Faded Glory of Twin Oaks

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 21, 2013
The remains of mansions dot the South

How Dare You Insult My Dog

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 14, 2013
Some dog owners have lost all common sense.

If It Tastes Good Spit It Out

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 12, 2013
Maybe being fat isn't so bad

Easy Elimination of Stupid People Part Three

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 11, 2013
The third and final write in this series on foolish...

Easy Elimination of Stupid People Part Two

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 11, 2013
The promised follow-up to the first poem on product...

Easy Elimination of Stupid People

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 7, 2013
Just abolish product warnings and let the problem sort...

Why I Don't Unfriend Tessie

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 6, 2013
Her Facebook posts serve a valuable purpose

I'll Be Ready In Five Minutes

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 6, 2013
So quit calling me every twenty minutes!

A Teenager Helps His Mother With the Internet

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Aug 4, 2013
Rory is now grounded for a month

Women and Colors

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 23, 2013
Why do women try to complicate easy things!

A New Royal Heir

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 22, 2013
Welcome, Your Royal Highness

Living Close To a Nuclear Plant

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 22, 2013
It can produce a gigawatt of electricity and an unknown...

Always Strive To Be First?

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 21, 2013
Sometimes, being second has its advantages.

A Message to Newly-Married Men

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 21, 2013
Many a truth is presented in the guise of humor.

A Note To My Algebra Teacher

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 21, 2013
Where you now reside, I hope computers are made of...

Basements Are Scary Places

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 18, 2013
A place where monsters lurk

LeRoy Is Guilty

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 17, 2013
How dare he!

Too Much Fuss Over a Baby

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 16, 2013
Silk diapers are ready and waiting.

The Luxury Cruise

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 13, 2013
The captain and crew made the trip so exciting.

Your Baby Is Really Ugly

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jul 11, 2013
A truth better unspoken.

All In the Name of Style

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 28, 2013
Some may call this sexist,but I call it true.

It's What We Hoped For

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 27, 2013
Based on an incident from decades ago. Really not...

The Abomination

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 27, 2013
Life was too hard for young Jody.

Miz Potter Goes Home

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 27, 2013
Something very different from me. See what you think.

Paula Deen the Butter Queen

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 24, 2013
Use of "that word" is only one of her controversial actions.

Dog Free To Good Home: A Satire

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 20, 2013
A biting satire

Jimmy Hoffa Found At Last

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 17, 2013
It turns out he was hidden in plain sight.

He Will Be Sleeping on the Couch Tonight

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 17, 2013
She put her husband into an untenable situation.

These Are the Golden Days?

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 17, 2013
Old age isn't what it's sometimes reputed to be.

Solving the Problem of Wedding Gifts

Article by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 10, 2013
A proposal that is open and fair to all concerned.

Big Brother Is Watching

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: Jun 7, 2013
Checking our phone calls, e-mail and social sites, huh?

The Graduation Announcement

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 30, 2013
It was a blatant grab for a specific type of gift.

Steve's Stupendous Shock

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 21, 2013
A humor write for adults only.

Measuring the Lunatic Fringe

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 19, 2013
What if their wacky beliefs become mainstream?

Let's End This Excessive Devotion to Dogs

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 17, 2013
Some dog owners need to get a grip!

Johnny, Get the Door for Daddy, Please

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 12, 2013
Allowing a child to answer the door carries some risk.

The Doctor's Favorite Dessert

Poem by Elton Camp
Posted: May 9, 2013
He heartily recommends it to his patients.



Hello,

I try to write on a variety of topics and in more than one form.  I am the first to admit that my "poetry" is nothing great.  I think the prose stories and articles are better.  But on both counts, that's for readers to judge. 

A greater variety and more complete versions of my writings can be found on Scribd.com. 

Write me at Elton4562@Yahoo.com about what I post.  I am old, fat, ugly, married, and not looking for any type chat other than about my writing or yours. 

With best wishes,

Elton Camp

 

 

Elton Camp has 76 Fans

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