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Malo Beto

Booksie Address:
Country: United States
Favorite book: I can choose one but: the Bartimaeus Trilogy, the Wheel of Time, The hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Neil Gaiman's Sandman, and A Wizard of Earthsea are
Member Since: May 30, 2009

Featured Writing



Novel by Malo Beto
Posted: Jan 28, 2012
Eime is a young orphan living on the streets of...
Tags:death, fantasy, low, orphan, assassin, pheonex

Malo Beto and the Quest for Eggs

Short Story by Malo Beto
Posted: Jun 5, 2009
This is the first Malo Beto story i wrote. there is...
Tags:death, eggs, fred, random, jail, malo, beto

Writing Portfolio


Novel by Malo Beto
Posted: Jan 28, 2012
Eime is a young orphan living on the streets of...

Another Epic

Novel by Malo Beto
Posted: Sep 27, 2010
This is something important that happened to me... its...


by Malo Beto
Posted: Aug 13, 2009
this is my first challenge i dont think there are enough...

Bob's Brain

Poem by Malo Beto
Posted: Jul 26, 2009
My first poem... Please don't read this if you are...

Malo Beto finds ways to release his anger (while fighting for eggs)

Short Story by Malo Beto
Posted: Jun 6, 2009
This is very random even worse than the first one... and...

Malo Beto and the Quest for Eggs

Short Story by Malo Beto
Posted: Jun 5, 2009
This is the first Malo Beto story i wrote. there is...

Cthulhu Ftahgn!


My name is Robert, or Malo Beto, or any variation of those.

I just turned 17. Not that it really matters though.

I Go to a Catholic School where I've been Wrestling for the past two years.

Despite, or maybe because of, going to a Catholic School I am an Atheist. That doesn't mean that I am 100% sure there is no god/s, It means that I have no reason to believe a god is even possible. Its like big-foot, or the Great Green Arkleseizure, no one can really prove they don't exist but there really is no reason to believe they do.

At this point i would like to have everyone roll a d20... add your religion skill to the roll.... if the total is 20 or greater you know that the Great Green Arkleseizure is the creator of the universe as claimed by adherents of the faith on planet Viltvodle VI. Their legend has it that the universe was sneezed out of the nose of the Great Green Arkleseizure, and they thus "live in perpetual fear of the time they call 'The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief.'"

Now that I have proved my nerdiness I can continue.

I have been fencing for about 6 or 7 years now. Thats fencing as in sword fighting not putting up fences although I've done some of that as well. I fence Epee because foil is... weird and Sabre is, as my fencing coach told me, "for Neanderthals".

Now to get some facts straight:

Edward Elric is by far supirior to Edward Cullen in every manner possable

Vampires don't sparkle in sunlight, they burn and die.

The answer to life, the Universe, and everything is 42. Now we just need to figure out the question. 

Once you see, and understand the monster in any form of horror it is no longer scary.

Batman is a better character than Superman

Adding a plot to Loony Tunes does not make it better.

Hollywood seems to no longer be able to produce good movies.

Jesus promised the end to all evil people. Odin promised the end to all frost giants. You dont see many frost giants around anymore.

Life is a fatal STD everyone has.

The best song to kill anything to, espeacally in a mall, is Bethoveen's 9th particularly the 2nd and 4th movements.

Overacheiving is Overrated

Just because it's in a bottle doesnt make it good beer.

Eragon is just basically the plot of Star Wars in Lord of the Rings setting... with dragons and a completely unbalanced magic system thrown in for good measure.

There are only two ways to deal with trolls: out troll them, or attempt to starve them.

The Pastafarian heaven is supirior to the Christian one

With strange eons you will find that even death may die.

And thats all I have to say about that...



By the way if you want me to read anything religious. I would be happy to, but be warned I will give my opinion. Ill try to politely but that will also depend on how polite you are... and how crazy what you wrote was.

Or if you just want to talk to me (be it philosophical conversation, religious debate, or you just want to talk to me, why you would want to do that I cannot say) my e-mail is:

Oh and if you read and comment on any of my stuff I really appriciate it. It's Really hard to be motivated to write when no one reads anything you write. That said I understand if you dont have the time. I'm pretty busy too.

Malo Beto has 9 Fans


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