I have often walked down these streets before, but that was before Sandra Bullock took out that restraining order, and bought a shotgun.

I have officially been declared Satan by Classic Rock magazine, and the people I harass on the interweb affectionally call me 'that rat bastard'.

As I'm not actually very good at anything I pretend to be a freelance music journalist which means I get to blag loads of free CDs and get into gigs for nothing. Sure, I have to copy and paste someone elses review into the websites I write for, but it's still better than working.

Should you wish to procure my whorishly expensive services,, there is a page here with lots of links to places I have pretended to work at. It probably has an email address on it somewhere.