``Kathy? `` I wake up from my day dreaming, realizing that I haven't even dressed yet.
``Uh… ya sorry. I'll be out in just a sec!`` I answered as I quickly got undressed and put on some fresh clean clothes.
I turn the silver knob to by less2pay">open the door only to be pleasantly surprised by the sweet scents coming from the kitchen flowing all around me. I enter to see Jacob grinning from one end of the table that had a white cloth spread over it. He quickly gets up and pulls out a light brown wooden chair for me ´´ Mademoiselle.`` Jacob says in a very formal accent as he gestures for me to be seated.
``Why thank you.`` I play along and smile politely. As I view the table I can see how everything was perfectly planned out. The waffles and pancakes are placed carefully on 2 beautiful plates with outer by by less2pay">Savings Sidekick">gold edges. The sauces, syrup, sugar, and the strawberries are perfectly aligned vertically from where I'm sitting at the corner of the table. The plates and silverware looked formal as did the napkin that Jacob had shaped into a swan and had placed it top of my plate.
``Wow Jacob…you've really out done yourself… it's not my birthday is it?`` I tease him as he takes a seat by less2pay">next to me.
`` What? No! I just… wait… it's NOT actually your birthday right?`` He hesitates for a while with a worried expresion and quickly pulls out his phone. ``Ok, good, no it's not.`` he sighs dramatically as if he was relieved, ``Seriously though, since when does a brother need to wait for a special occasion to do something special for his sis?`` He questions me, but not in a playful way. More like a- What kind of brother do you by Savings Sidekick">take me for? - kind of way.
``Well ya but-``I try to argue but Jacob cuts me off, `` No buts sis! Just enjoy and eat up!``
I try to question him further, but as soon as I by less2pay">open my mouth he sticks a big juicy strawberry inside. I try to argue with him but it seemed like each time that I opened my mouth he manages to shove another one in to keep me from doing so.
`` What's that? You want more?`` he laughs as I try to talk with my mouth full of sweet strawberries.
``Ya I know, they're pretty good aren't they?`` He chuckles, seemingly pleased with himself.
I kept my mouth shut and it took me what seemed like 5 full minutes to chew and swallow all those strawberries that had been forced into my mouth, `` Are you TRYING to kill me?`` I say once I was able to speak again.
`` Well, were you TRYING to argue with your sweet and lovable brother?`` He flashes a by Savings Sidekick">charming grin and I punch his arm. ``Ow! Hey! I feed you strawberries and you return the favor by punching me?`` he whines.
Of course I wasn't actually mad at Jacob. I was just playing around with him and he knew that. So the next thing he did was tickle me in an attempt to get me to say what a `` lovely and sweet`` brother he was. Which I did! It truly was amazing how he could cheer me up so quickly. Although I was still feeling down and sad, I wasn't depressed. If anything, Jacob got me to forget all of my by less2pay">problems in those few wonderful minutes at the breakfast table that he had made, just for me.
Breakfast time went by quickly, Jacob and I had a nice conversation about his new job while I ate up a waffle, two small pancakes and even a few of those strawberries which made my stomach more than satisfied. I decide to start by less2pay">cleaning up the table but the minute I rise to collect the plates my brother stops me, by quickly standing up from his own seat and gently pushing me back into mine. I hardly even get the chance to say anything before he interrupts me, `` The part of me making breakfast is for me to clean up afterwards as well, and don't even try to argue with me because I won't hear it.``
I felt my emotions burst, just as if several colors were being mixed and swirled around inside me. I felt mad because I did not enjoy the feeling of being treated like a child. I felt guilty because I knew he was only trying to help, but I also felt scared, scared that at any moment I would burst into tears because of how good he was to me.
He tried taking the role of both, mother and father ever since we fled from our country. I love him and I know he loves me, but I also know that there are times when he is hurting, but he doesn't dare to show it, especially to me.
Though he seems to have an outer image of an emotionally strong and independent young man, deep down, he is still a boy crying in undeniable pain. Just like that horrific day when he had lost his home and his dear mother. Only now, he has to carry the burden of knowing that he might lose his mother all over again…our mother. The fear of having to go through that once more, not even having his first scar healed yet, is a pain that I can't even hope to understand, but then again I shouldn't even hope to. Because I just might if the war continues like this. Jacob knows as well as I do of the terrible things that have been going on in our country. People being burned alive, young girls and women being kidnapped, only to be found after they had already been raped countless of times and then carelessly tossed into the streets to die, as if they were nothing more then dirty wounded animals.
No, now I know that Jacob is hurting just as much as I am, but he simply handles it better. I know I have no right to be upset with him. Maybe I just enjoy feeling sorry for myself, but being with him doesn't allow me too, and so I get mad. Although it's not him that I get mad at, even though it may come out that way, but it's me. I get mad at myself.