By Jace Connors
This book is dedicated to Ringo Starr and his amazing novel "Spooky Ghasts"
It was a normal day for Jace Connors. He was jacking off to Wolf-Meryl porn on DeviantArt when suddenly he heard a knock on his door. "IF THAT'S YOU MOM THEN GO AWAY BITCH! YOU'RE A FUCKING FAG!" he screamed at the door, which was then kicked down by a tall figure.
It was Jack Stryker, he had mutilated Jaces family in cold blood and then necro skullfucked all of them. Jace was unfazed by this and then said with a nasal fanboy tone "OMGITSOYOUITSMEIFUCKINGLOVEYOUBENDMEOVERANDFUCKMERIGHTNOWJACK".
"Calm down man, I came here to recruit you into the S.S.S.S Marines." said Jack Stryker. "We have been tracking your activity for the past 6 months and secretly analyzing your abilities. Seeing as you can bench press 1 gram and jerk off to wolf porn at 60 mph, the commander decided to put you into the Spac Special Marines." explained Jack.
Jace wet himself with delight and fell over crying tears of happiness.
"Should I get my weed and airsoft guns? Can I bring Tyce?" said Jace, wiping the tears from his eyes, having finally achived his dream. "We already have those supplied." said Stryker.
"But first, I must detail what the S.S.S.S Marines entails. You are being dispatched in the top secret 51st state of America; Razahkstaisraelstan which is controlled by both the U.S government and the Israelian Government due to them having fought over it in the past. The platoon we are placing you in has the most trained, toughest people eligible for the S.S.S.S marines, the name of this Platoon is the Destructor Of Wicked Nefarious Yellows or Downy for short, you get access to the most advanced airsoft guns, the most dank kush you'll ever smoke and modkits for Downys use only."
Jace was now a happy man and he was ready to kill all the Muslims and Brownies with his airsoft gun, he grasped Stryker's hand and together they walked outside Jace's home and jumped aboard a helicopter waiting for them.