So, right now, everyone's going crazy about these Harry Potter books. Please.
I'm not going to disappoint you. They ARE true, but not ALL true.
I wonder how much Mum and Dad payed to delete me from the whole thing. Probably a lot, seeing as I'm the disgraced daughter and all. My oh-so-perfect idiot twin brother made the final cut, but not me. You people deserve to know the story. Here is MY version:
I recieve my Hogwarts letter...
It all started the day I got my letter. We were all sitting around the breakfast table, doing everything under the sun except eating. Mum kept giving Dad evils because he was reading The Daily Prophet at the table AGAIN and my stupid brother was deeply immersed in the book Dad gave him for his Birthday, 1001 Ways to Cause Your Enemies Pain. Fascinating (note the eye roll, please). Also note that Mum isn't giving him evils, just bacause both my parents think he's so bloody perfect.
Anyway, I was seeing how many rude hand gestures I could make before someone noticed. I had got to 59, when the family owl swooped in and dropped about six letters onto my lap before soaring away.
"Give me the post, Vespia."
I learnt from a very young age just how much sarcasm to put on the 'father'. Never 'Dad' to his face. Never ever ever ever. Ever. Have I made my point? So, in case you ever want to annoy my Dad, it has to just enough sarcasm so that he notices, but not so much that he gets angry and starts smashing things, including my head.
I gave him the post. He took out three letters that looked extremely boring and left the room, dumping the other three letters on the table. I walked over and got them, because no one else was going to.
"There's one for you, Mother." I slid it down the table to her. "And... OH MY GOSH, HOGWARTS LETTERS!"
I started hyperventilating, which is a pretty stupid thing to do when I knew that I was going to get a letter anyway. My brother snatched one of the letters off me and read aloud.
" 'Dear Mr Malfoy, We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry-' "
Mum gave a little squeal and hugged him tightly (please note the second eye roll). I cleared my throat loudly.
"I got one too."
She released my brother and gave me an awkward pat on the back.
"Oh my goodness, this is so exciting!" she gushed.
I stared at her. I didn't know she could show this much emotion. She's normally so cold.
"We have to arrange a trip to Diagon Alley and-"
I left her to her ranting and stared down at my letter incredulously, a little ditty playing in my head:
I'm going to Hogwarts, I'm going to Hogwarts, I'm going to Hogwarts, I'm-
"Is it too much to ask for a little quiet?"
Dad looked from Mum to me to my brother angrily. We had clearly interrupted something important.
"Hogwarts letters," said my brother, solemly. "Look."
Dad took his letter, read it over and then gave it back.
"Wonderful," he said in a bored voice. "We can get your things next week. I'll send a reply."
He left again. Me and my brother exchanged glances.
Don't get me wrong, I really hate him, but this is one of those special family moments where all animosity is forgotten. Simultainiously, we grabbed hands and spun eachother around.
"We're Hogwarts students now," whispered my brother, happily. "Everything changes."
The moment passed. I broke away and wiped my hands on my sweater, earning myself a dirty look from Mum.
"If you'll excuse me, mother," I said, with my perfect balance of sarcasm and politeness. I strode out of the room and up the stairs to my bedroom, my mind still on my Hogwarts letter.