25th April 2011- Early morning
I woke up with a start, finding the patch of ground I'd made my bed for the night extremely uncomfortable. It was still dark but the sun would start to rise soon. The atmosphere had that sort of get-ready-I’m-going-to-start-the-day-now feeling.
I sat up and started scanning the area before I knew what I was looking for. He wasn't there. Disappointment tied itself in with the massive knot of anxiety in my stomach. I sat up straighter pulling my knees to my chest hugging them what the hell are we going to do now? I’d already got that this question was asked ten times more in war than any other time but knowing that didn’t give me any answers. We have to try find him the thought did laps around my find until I got up and walked into the bush.
Ok, so maybe it was a dumb move but what else was I meant to do? I could have told someone I was starting the search early asked one of the others to come with me but I knew they would come, So maybe I wanted to be on my own.
I don’t know how long I walked of, I didn’t know where I walked all I know is that I didn’t bump into Jake. The knot in my stomach doubles in size; I couldn’t stop the ‘what ifs’ race around in my mind there were hundreds of possibilities and about two were slightly optimistic, only slightly.
It was hot and sticky when I decided to go back. My legs heavy and muscles sore as I turned around with absolutely no idea how to get back to the others, and not caring at all. I failed Jake is properly bleeding to death in a ditch in the middle of nowhere. Yeah I had had enough optimisium for one morning.
I had lost all since of time in that bush. In-between the zoning out I was doing the daydreaming and the trees that looked exactly the same it was easy. It was awhile before I realized time wasn’t the only thing I had lost why didn’t I bring breadcrumbs?
My feet protested strongly against the constant walking so at the next fallen tree I found myself daydreaming while seated 10 minutes I have to get back to the others I told myself as I let my body relax a little.
The next thing I knew I was surrounded by a comforting black abyss.