The Crazies of Arkham Asylum
Seventy… Seventy billion, four… million… Four million… Sixty nine… Thousand…. Eight hundred… One…
I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Please, stop counting so I can concentrate.
That's how long you've been here, you know.
Really? That's an awfully long time…
It is. You shouldn't be letting this go on so long.
But I'm not crazy! I don't belong in a pillow room in an asylum; I need to be out there in Gotham again… Terrorizing the citizens…. It's my duty!
Precisely. Why don't you escape then? Why don't you teach them not to mess with the Joker. Give them a lesson they won't soon forget.
But I can't escape. They won't let me out, or even open the door. The window on my door hasn't been opened in years.
I don't care how you do it, just get it done.
But… I can't…
YES YOU CAN!
No! Don't yell, don't yell, don't yell, don't yell, don't yell at me…
I WILL YELL AND SCREAM UNTIL YOU GET US OUTTA HERE!
No! Nonononononono! Stop it! Stop!
AH HAHA! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
NOOOOOO! STOP STOP!
I'M SORRY JOKER, BUT IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN OUT. IT'S TIME FOR AN ESCAPE.
Alright! I'll get us out, just stop yelling!
Y-Yes! Please… stop…
Oh hohoho, Joker? Why so serious?
I said, why are you being so serious?
I'm… I'm not being serious…
Ah, Joker, my boy, you're losing your edge.
What?! No… No, I can't be… I'll always be the Joker! I'll always be Gotham's star attraction!
More like Gotham's star crazy…
Well… So what if I'm a bit crazy? That doesn't mean I've lost my edge.
Oh, no Joker. Crazy is good.
…You really think so?
Of course I do! The crazier the better, my friend!
Yeah, you're right! I… I'm Gotham's star crazy!
Yes! You are Joker! Now, tell me, just what do you plan to do with that crazy mind of yours?
I'm gonna get us out of here.
That's the spirit. Now, how are you going to do that?
I'm gonna… Gonna…
Remember that gas mask I told you to always keep hidden on you?
Well, you're going to need it.
Oh… ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Heh heh heh.
YES! I AM THE STAR CRAZY, AND GOTHAM IS MY STAGE!
Yes, Joker! Those people are at your disposal!
HA HA! YES, IT'S TIME FOR THE RETURN OF THE JOKER!
Do you still remember how to get out of a straight-jacket?
Of course! I've had plenty of practice.
Well then, let's do this.
Yes, it's time to stop being so serious and start having some real fun!
"Gordon, it's the Joker! He's gotten out!"
"Hey Mr. Police Officer… You need to relax! Have some fun! Smile more!"
"Hello? John? Are you there? John, answer me!"
"Mr. Gordon? Hello there! Listen, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have some work to do! Toodles!"
"Joker! Joker! Gah, he hung up!"
Beep beep beep beep beep blip boop beep.
Brrring. Brring. Click.
"What is it, Mr. Gordon, sir?"
"Joker's escaped Arkham! Flash the Batsignal and get as many troops out to Arkham as possible!"
"Sir, yes sir!"
"Not again... How does he do it? No matter how he's confined, he finds a way out… HOW?"
"Don't worry, Gordon. I'll get him."
"God, Batman! You scared me! How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that?"
"Heh, it's alright, Batman. Just go out there and catch a Joker."
"I intend to."
"Ah, it's good to know we've got a real hero to look after us."