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The story starts in Ancient greece, on the coast of Sparta, in the small kingdom of king Alexius and his dear wife Euthalia.
The first scene starts of with their daughter Chrysanthe, who is situated in the womens quarter of the palace, weaving.

Little does Chrysanthe know that her whole life is about to change. One night she is brutally captured by pirates, she is taken to their ship, and there she meets two captives who later on become her two companions on the journey that awaits.
Chrysanthe's adventure is wild and unimagineable! During her journey she is taken from the savage mud huts of the celtics, The oddness and culture of the egyptians, the foul rituals of the aztecs,and to the rainforests inhabited by the amazonian women.
I hope you enjoy my story of chrysanthe's quest home! View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Submitted: May 17, 2008    Reads: 69    Comments: 16    Likes: 6   


"Release me!!!" I yelled, squirming with all my might, but no matter how hard I kicked, punched or wriggled, the man's grip stayed clamped to my waist like an iron vice. I tried to bite his hand, I yanked my head towards his fingers, opening my mouth wide, but before my teeth could even come close to his flesh, he turned me around violently and shoved me harshly to the ground. I landed with great force, causing my body to sting with pain. A gold knee high sandle pressed its self against my flat chest. Hands seized my wrists, tying them with coarse ropes. I tried to continue my struggle, but every time I made a sudden movement, the golden sandle continued to crush my chest.

"Don't even try to escape, we're strong men, and could kill you with a simple blow." The man who owned the sandle spoke with a slur, his voice was vulagar, and his accent was foreign.

"Who are you? I demmand you to release me! I am Princess Chry--." I stopped, my eyes widened as I heard the deathly swish of a knife being unsheathed. I shuddered furiosly as the man who owned the sandle revealed his revolting blood caked face. He brought his copper dagger to my throat, it's coldnes made me quiver some more.

"I don't care at all who you are! Even if you were the Queen of Greece! I'm doing my job, Ok. I was asked to capture you by this man called 'leo something', and so I'm doing what I have been told. If you decide to say anything else, I will slit your neck with just one flick of my wrist. Do you understand?"

I didn't have a choice, as long as I had an option to keep my life, I had to take it. I nodded to show the man that I understood him, he slipped the knife away from my throat, then grabbed the back of my tunic, hauling my up like a heavy load, back unto my feet. My hands were tied tightly together, another man was holding the end of the rope. He was just as vulgar as the golden sandle man. I diverted my eyes from his hungry gaze, and focused on the ground. Tears were beginning to smart my eyes. This couldn't be happening, why was it happenning?

It was also beginning to daunte on me that 'Leo something' could atcually be Leonidas, but why? He had no reason to do this, I'm sure of it. The man holding the end of the rope tugged, meaning for me to follow. The men walked deeper into the forest that was situated in the palace gardens. Leonidas and I usually Practice archery just outside this forest. The forest is said to lead into the city, but Leonidas and I have never actually explored it .The man holding my rope tugged it evenharder, almost lifting me up from the ground.

"Hurry up, we don't have all day." The man dragged me forward with more effort, so now I had to try and keep up with my own hands. Trees beat my body like whipping canes as he pulled me through the cluster of trees. Night had finally arrived, the moon glowed radiantly above me. The stars were as bright as the gods, clashing with the pitch-black blanket,but I felt nothing for this extrodinary beauty. How could I when I was being dragged into an unfamiliar and dangerous world.

*

I tried looking for some form of escape, anything that could free me from the ropes clinging unto my wrists, but no matter how hard I tired, I couldn't really concentrate, the men were pulling me so hard I couldn't even stop to breath. By now they were both cluthching unto the ropes, so the force pulling me was greater than before, I was practically running. They seemed to be in a hurry, night had finally taken over so it was as dark as hades.

"Hurry up girl, we haven't got much time." I didn't really know what they ment, but the men were beginnig to jog, and every so often glanceing over their shoulders, as if something was following them. They started mumbling between themselves, I couldn't really catch what they were saying, I was feeling tired, it seemed like we'ed been running in the forrest for centuries.

Then I heard the shouting from behind me.

"STOP! RELEASE THE PRINCESS THIS INSATNCE!"The palace guards, they had come for my rescue!!! My heart felt light, there was new hope. I tried slowing down so the guards could catch up with us, but my kidnappers had much different ideas, one of them let go of the rope, turned around and with great strength, picked me up by the waist and slung me over his shoulders.

"LET GO!" I screamed, I couldn't let this happen, I was so close to being returned back home. I beat the man's back with my foot, using all the strength I had left in my thighs. But it was no use, the men could run faster now, they picked up their pace, almost sprinting, dodging left and right, jumping rocks, and tree stumps. The foosteps and voices of the guards seemed to be fading, this made me even more angry, I punched the man holding me, in the face. He staggered a little, and grunted, then held my hands down with his own.

"If you hit me one more time, your dead!!! You hear me dead!" He screamed into my face, his wine stained breath curled itself around my nose, making me cough. An opening in the forrest was looming ahead of us, the men ran faster now, the guards sounded like minute ants behind us. Everywhere around me became a blurr as they ran, my hair had become undone and was slapping me around the face. The opening was getting wider and wider,bringing new light into the dark forrest. A few more steps, and I would be away from my palace grounds, for what will seem like forever.


6

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Comments:

i like this part of the story carrying on from what i said about the similie of the serpent i can feel the evil in this man just like the serpent.... i look forward to reading more

Posted: May 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you very much! I should deffinately read some more of your stuff!

OOOO
i liked it
=]
Posty more soons.
=]
-Ally

Posted: May 17, 2008

Author Comment:

will sure do!

"the man's grip stayed clamped to my waist like an iorn vice"
iron

"I tried to bite his hand, I yanked my head towards his fingers, opening my mouth wide, but before my teeth could even come close to his flesh, he turned me around violently and shoved me harshly to the ground."
consider making sentences here instead of using so many commas, such as:
"I thought about biting his hand, and yanked my head towards his fingers. I opened my mouth wide to bite him, but before my teeth could even come close to his flesh he turned me around violently and shoved me harshly to the ground."
i changed a few of the words
sorry >

Posted: May 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks for the constructive critism!! this is why booksie is soooooooooooo good!!!! i'll be sure to correct it!

you can only see a little bit of my comment ><
oh well
great job on the chapter
keep me posted

Posted: May 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks!

I also found a few mistakes. These are the ones Gigi didn't say.
In the second paragraph when you said "The man who owned the sandle spoke with a slur, his voice was vulagar, and his accent was foreign." Vulgar, not vulager.
Third paragraph- when you said "He brought his copper dagger to my throat, it's coldnes made me quiver some more." You should add another s to coldness.
Sixth paragraph- when you said evenharder, there should be a space between even and harder.
Eighth paragraph- when you said "I tried looking for some form of escape, anything that could free me from the ropes clinging unto my wrists, but no matter how hard I tired, I couldn't really concentrate, the men were pulling me so hard I couldn't even stop to breath." It should be breathe not breath. You spelled clutching wrong.
ninth paragraph- ment needs to be meant,beginnig should be beginning, glanceing should be glancing.
There were more , but i have a headache..lol
It was really good!! keep it up!! add moresoon =)
~mandy

Posted: May 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks!!! sometimes the spelling mistakes are computer errors, and sometimes its me!! thank you though!

Leo...Leo...Leo... Leonidas??? Great chap! Update please!

Posted: May 17, 2008

Author Comment:

deffinately!! thank you!

great chapter there are some mistakes but some other commenters have already mention it. great chapter though. i like it

Posted: May 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks! I must correct those mistakes!

EEEEEEEEEEEK! okay, you left me wanting more one again! ahhh, and now I have to wait for the next chapter:( lol. This story is very captivating and addicting and you've only just started, lol. I love it!
hey, maybe if you're interesting you could read my novel that I am in the midst of writting called "entertaining angelz" I think you would like it:P
Steph(:

Posted: May 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Of course I'll read it steph!!! just need to put it on my reading list! thanks!!

I LOVE THIS!!!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!
DONT STOP WRITING!!

Posted: May 18, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks!! I might not post for a while though!

hey!! very very good! please post more soon!

Posted: May 20, 2008

Author Comment:

sure will!

This is getting very interesting.

Posted: May 27, 2008

Author Comment:

good to know!!!

I like this chapter too. So her brother might be the one initiating the kidnapping? Interesting.

Posted: May 27, 2008

Author Comment:

yes very intresting... read on!

intensifying,(i dunno how to spell the word right now) But i love it so far!!

Posted: May 28, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you!!! after finals I will continue with more gusto!!! (whatever that means)

ok, i enjoyed, but of course need to read more

Posted: May 29, 2008

Author Comment:

yeh! sure do!

oooo! great chapter!
well written as usual and the way you ended it was nice! i'll be sure to read more soon. i'm hoping to do a chapter a day to get caught up. or maybe 2 chapters... depending on how busy i get. but anyways - i loved it! you really impress me with your writing haha i'm a bit envious! i wish i wrote so well XD
haha
well here are your typos :)


"Who are you? I *demand* you to release me!

I shuddered furio[u]sly as the man who owned the sandle revealed his revolting blood caked face. He brought his copper dagger to my throat, it's coldnes[s] made me quiver some more.

"I don't care at all who you are! Even if you were the Queen of Greece! I'm doing my job, [o]k.

slipped the knife away from my throat, then grabbed the back of my tunic, hauling m[e] up like a heavy

This couldn't be happening, why was it *happening*?

It was also beginning to daunte on me that 'Leo something' could *actually* be Leonidas, but why?

Leonidas and I usually [p]ractice archery just outside this forest. The forest is said to lead into the city, but Leonidas and I have never actually explored it. (needed a space there. i inserted it for you)The man holding my rope tugged it even* * (space)harder, almost lifting me up from the ground.

The stars were as bright as the gods, clashing with the pitch-black blanket,* *but I felt nothing for this extr[a]odinary beauty.

clinging unto my wrists, but no matter how hard I *tried*, I couldn't really concentrate, the men were pulling me so hard I couldn't even stop to breath[e]. By now they were both *clutching* unto the ropes, so the force pulling me was greater than before, I was practically running. They seemed to be in a hurry, night had finally taken over so it was as dark as [H]ades.

haven't got much time." I didn't really know what they me[a]nt, but the men were beginni[n]g to jog, and every so often *glancing* over their

I was feeling tired, it seemed like *we'd* been running in the *forest* for centuries.

"STOP! RELEASE THE PRINCESS THIS *INSTANCE*!"* *The palace guards, they had come for my rescue!!! (i understand she's excited here, but it kind of looks odd with so many exclamation marks. i think 1 will suffice)

An opening in the *forest* was looming ahead of us

The opening was getting wider and wider,bringing new light into the dark *forest*


there you go ^^ ha, you had quite a few, but its no big deal. just spelling errors and punctuation mistakes. but thats no big deal. you write wonderously! your sentence structure and word choice are both fabulous ^^
anyways
exciting chapter! i'll try to read more soon :)

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

ok im going to start correcting the typos as soon as possible!!
AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE ENVIOUS, PSSSSHT YOU ARE AN AMAZING WRITER!!!
thanks and take care!

getting spicier....hmmmm.....what's next???

why is he doing this??

Posted: Jun 15, 2008

Author Comment:

ahhhh read the next chapter!!



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