It was the first day of the war and I knew it was all or nothing from this point on. I always liked to think of myself as the man who would get the girl, win the fight and just be damn right awesome. In this situation… I thought the same damn thing. Cocky is a word used to describe me, and to be completely honest with you, it's a good one. The war was over The Great Bonsai Tree; that's all I knew.
I was placed in the 1st battalion, which in this war meant cannon-fodder. They didn't respect people like me and they wanted us to get the brunt of the pain. This was a war like no other beforehand and it would never be matched by any after. The Great Bonsai tree was the key to all power in the land of Kinishua. I was sent here as a high profile prisoner at first; then they sparked a war over this sap sucker of a tree and now I'm a soldier with no training. I'd never needed training before and I will not need it now.
When I was sent to Kinishua, I saw just how beautiful the land really was. The grass was greener than any I had ever seen, as though it shone up into the sky to combat the sun's rays. The clouds seemed to take the form of majestic eagles in the sky acting as protectors for the land itself. The sun was on another level. It was far away enough so that it caused no damage but was close enough to see the burning ripples surround it. All the rivers on the land were clear and cool enough to drink from at any point. This land was on another level; it was truly heavenly.
I had actually thought I'd died and gone to heaven at first, but a swift bat to the head by one of the guards soon crushed that hope. Anyway, I digress, back to the war. The war was between the Colonists and the Rebels. Both sides wanted The Great Bonsai Tree for its untold power as it was said that if you held the tree in your hands you could travel through time. Of course this was all mythical bull****, but I had to fight this war anyway.
A guard passing shouted,
"Attention everyone, you're time to be brave has come!"
I have no idea why he addressed us as everyone, there was only three of us there. Myself, prisoner number 2 and prisoner number 3. I called them Bill and Ted for short. They were the pinnacle of stupidity and they were my 'team'. I may as well just dig my grave now.
A huge firework went off in the sky and that apparently signalled the intention to start the war. Why was the signal a celebratory firework? Were they enjoying pitting us against warriors? Anyway, all questions aside, I must begin my tactics of defence… a good hiding place.
For some reason, the war took place in a maze! This place really is crazy; maybe I'm dreaming all of this. All hope seemed to be drifting away from me as I watched Bill and Ted walk into the maze without so much as a second thought. They were stupid enough to believe this was some kind of game or something; Idiots. I slowly approached the maze entrance and began to wonder how I was going to meet my demise, then I remembered; I am too awesome to die at the hands of another.
I dusted myself off and strutted into the maze confident that I will survive. I could hear Ted screaming
"Please, I don't even know what a Bonny Tree is!"
This confirmed his stupidity to me as I walked in the opposite direction of his screams. A rebel swiftly approached me and panic did start to set in. What was I going to do? They hadn't even given me a weapon. So I stood still. First in brief hope his sight was based on movement, and then through fear that my first idea was stupid. Yep, this was going to be my end.
In a flash he ran to me, went to strike me with his sword, stopped, gave me a dirty look and laughed. He started to chant things that I will not repeat. I refuse to repeat such vulgarity! He handed me a dagger and said
"Now it is a fair fight!"
I responded with
"I really don't think it is all that fair for you to have a sword and me to have a dagger."
I think my charm shone through as he urged me to swap and as soon as this happened, I stabbed the sword into his chest. His eyes seemed to asking me why, but I was too busy skipping past him to answer. I now had a sword to defend myself with; excellent news!
I strutted even more confidently away from the scene of my monstrous battle. Well, until I heard the resounding stomp of about twenty soldiers advancing on to my position. I very much doubt I can trick twenty people into allowing me to kill them. I look around in desperate need of a creative spark. I see the man's body that I had already killed. I look upwards and it hits me!
I place his body so his back and shoulders are up against the side of the maze; the wall if you'd like. I place one foot on his left shoulder and my strong hand on the top of the wall. I hoist myself up and kick off of his shoulders to climb to the top of the wall. This was ingenious of me I must say. I can now casually stroll across this wall and to my safety. I might even be able to win the war and my freedom with that.
I look around and notice Bill is running around crying, I look behind him and can see why. They've set a wolf on him! I look in disgust as it rips him apart, starting with his leg and then moving to his abdomen. What a shame! I liked that jumper of his. I move across the wall hoping to not be seen. Even if I was seen I didn't care, I'd just jump out the maze and swim for it. Hey! I could just jump out and swim for it! I don't have to carry on this stupid war! On the other hand, I would quite like to be pardoned formerly.
A few minutes of life changing decision making and I decide to take the one that could end my life completely; not my best idea yet! I scurry further along and I see the centre of the maze. The Great Bonsai Tree is there on a pedestal. It doesn't seem anything special, but I cannot take my eyes from upon it. It is starting to grab my attention to the full extent. I shake my head and snap myself out of it, hop across a wall and find myself practically standing over it. Do I win if I grab it, or do I then have to get back out with the tree in hand?
I spend a few moments plotting my next move. Do I swoop down hoping that touching it wins me this war? Or do I wait to see what happens if someone else touches it? I decide to wait, but that takes too long. I've never been one for waiting around, that's why I stole that bus that time; that's a story for another time. I stab my sword into the maze as a step to get back up. I drop off of the edge, doing myself more damage than I had anticipated. I grab the tree and turn toward the wall again. There's a strange man standing next to my sword. He's going to snap my sword and I shout,
"Whoah buddy! That's not yours is it? Did your parents never tell you to keep your mits off of other peoples stuff?"
He screamed and ran at me, with a dagger in hand. I hold the tree up to protect myself and luckily his knife sinks into the small bark of the tree. The tree starts to leak and I swear it's making a whimpering noise as though it's crying. Nah it can't be it's only a tree!
The man was gone and his dagger on the floor. The tree was mine! I climbed back to the top withdrew my sword from the wall and made my way back to my starting point. There didn't seem to be any of the opposition in the maze anymore. I look back and see them retreating, but they seem to be sad. I can hear one of them shouting,
"All hail The Great Bonsai Tree! It's spirit lives on with us!"
Hahahaa, they think they've killed it. It's a tree, not a person. I look down at the tree and its leaves are withering. It seems to be whimpering again and this time I can see tears of sap running down its tiny cut up trunk. I cautiously ask,
"You okay little buddy?"
I can't believe I'm talking to a tree; I must have gone crazy. A voice seems to come back as though it's in the wind,
"I am the spirit of The Great Bonsai Tree. You have saved me from a lifetime of war and suffering. You need to take me back with you!"
I'm a little scared as it seems to be whispering into my ear like a love sick weirdo and I say,
"Look, when I get back they are going to want you for themselves…"
I'm interrupted by the voice again… apparently it's a douche voice,
"No, you have made me happy and I will do the same for you. I will take you back to your family and to a time before you were in prison. You will have learned from your mistakes and I will drift away, back to mother- nature."
I see. So this tree really does contain powers to help you travel time. Well, I didn't see that coming. Before I could say anything else I felt weird, as though I was going to throw up… not that they had fed me anything to bring up.
The next thing I knew I was being woken up by Karen (my wife),
"Morning sleepyhead, you must have been having some weird dream last night. You kept talking about going to prison and fighting some war in the land of Kinishua or something."
It was all a dream. Wow what a crazy dream! I was only sleeping for like six hours. Just as I start thinking I might need some help, I look to the shelf and see a Bonsai tree and I think just how great those midget trees are.