I write and illustrate various things for Classic Rock magazine. When I'm not doing that, I love nothing more than to spend my days stealing knickers off washing lines, taking photographs of women getting changed, posting lurid illustrations of myself doing unspeakable things to celebrities to those celebrities, and mixing concrete. I would love to have a book published - with the money I would pay to have my wife bumped off by a contract killer. Then I'd move to Cuba and sleep with all whores and that.

I have a blog, by the way, which sits farting in a corner of the internet at http://bpperry3.blogspot.com/ All new readers win a night with my wife*.

*In the year 2060