Chapter 1: Met Hannah Sontian
My life has changed a lot from last year. People say that being 12 and being 13 are the same thing. Not to me. Last year I had a 8 year old brother, this year he's 6 feet under. Last year I was on the honor roll, this year I'm forced to go to extra help every other day. Last year I had tons of friends, this year I have one friend who wouldn't care to leave me behind. Last year i wasn't bullied, this year I'm bullied so much I've began to wear bracelets to cover the scars. There are so many more, I could fill a million books with with all of my mistakes, fails, and regrets. But thats not what I'm here for.
My brother had lung cancer and one day he stopped fighting... He was brave, full of smiles, really he was too much to handle. The thing that makes everything worse is, he didn't know he was dying. I knew, my mom and dad knew, my best friend knew, Kayla. The good thing is, no matter what day i was, before he had cancer, he always lived life to the fullest. The one thing I know is that he is always making God laugh, he will be God's royal fool.I miss that little meatball. I miss him a lot. I really wish I was nicer to him. I don't believe a ton of things but one thing I do believe is that you don't know what you had until it's gone...
These two girls, Tiffany and Amanda, are the meanest human beings to ever walk the surface of the earth. They have my whole 3rd period class against me. I'm lucky when they don't call my brother a dead idiot. It really hurts me, they don't know him so don't talk about him, and it's not like he wanted to get cancer. Every so often they get a 8th grader to beat me up. Well I honestly don't know what I did to deserve this. No matter how annoying those butt-heads were I never and I mean never attacked back with a rude comment I keep to myself and let it sink in and later when I'm safe at home I cry. I've been doing this for the last 7 months. Each cut is deeper then the last.
Kayla is the only one I still trust, but I'm being to think she is the next one to leave. Since Amanda and Tiffany began torturing me I've been losing friends. Why you may ask. My answer is clearly, I don't know. My life is harder each day. Lately my parents have been fighting almost every night when they think I'm sleeping. I think they are filing a divorce. Thats another reason I cut. My parents really don't know how hard it is for me since Tyler left (my little brother). I know this its stupid but I pray to Tyler, not God. I swear he is answering. In a prayer I told Tyler that one day I will see him, some day soon. I also told him all my secrets, some that Kayla doesn't even know. He's the only friend that Amanda and Tiffany can never take away from me.