HOW TO EAT A POTATO
31st February, 1884, a man died due to unknown reasons. Later on, it was found out he was killed by no other than his own potato! (Dramatic music)
Potatos are a complicated species. They tend to get annoyed over the littlest things. (did you know that if you don't fry your french fries right, they get angry?) Maybe that's the reason why some moody people are called potatos. Potatos want to be respected and loved. Those who do not love potatos but eat them anyway, become FAT! So beware, the world is a dangerous place to live. Especially, because we are living with millions or trillions of POTATOS! (I'm surprised there's no super hero called potato-man -_-)
Here, dear kids and their parents (yes kids, your parents are watching you from a distance), I will teach you how to eat a potato properly in a few easy steps.
1. Wash the potato. No need for shampoo, even if it's a girl potato.
2. Peel it. If you won't, millions of more potatos will grow out of the first one and rule the world!
3. Slice, cut or mash. If you hate someone, imagine the potato is that person and let out your anger.
4. Fry, cook or feed it to your dog. If you have no dog, give it to your parrot. If you expect me to teach you how to cook, I don't know a thing about cooking. However, if you want me to taste-test, I'd be happy to.
5. If your potato is bad or rotten, feed it to your neighbour's dog. (that ought to shut him up!)
6. Serve (to yourself. Why should you serve it to others when you made it yourself?)
7. Add LOADS of salt, pepper and ketchup (OH YEAH!).
8. Enjoy. (optional: if you like, add some beef steak, salad and chilled drink as a side)
9. You're welcome :) (yes, I just taught you how to eat your potato. Thank me!)
And that's all the steps showing how to eat a potato, but of course, I should add some warnings too.
1. Don't leave your potato alone in the room with a knife or else.....
2. Eat a potato, not a tomato.
3. If the rotten potato kills the neighbour's dog and the neighbour starts fighting with you, feed them some rotten potato.
4. Eat it. Don't let it eat you.
5. Turn around. Seriously, dude, your parents are watching you.
6. Make sure you eat only potatos and not aliens dressed up as potatos.