Abbey’s Father, David Granger. He was a man of kind nature. There was never day were he wouldn’t put others before himself He was the son Angela and Harry Granger. He had one younger sibling. A younger brother called Clive Granger, who really was the complete opposite of David. David had a very complicated and troublesome past. Yet that never stopped him. When David was the age of 16, he and his girlfriend (Lucy) fell pregnant. This was a massive shock for himself. He feared to tell his family, but he braved it. He stepped forward and told his mother and father. Obviously, they were stunned to hear that their only son was going to become a father at such a young age. But, they were where David got his good nature from. They looked after David and his girlfriend, Lucy, as her parent raged at this and didn’t want anything to do with her and the baby. Years passed by, and David’s parents looked after the two of them and the baby. Yet, as the baby turned the age of 5, Lucy decided she didn’t want anything to do with this child. She broke David’s heart. It tore him a part.
I awoke in sheer fright. My eyes burnt with dry tears, my throat throbbed from silent screaming. I climbed out of bed. The cold bit at my face as I scrambled around the room. As I wondered around helplessly looking for my dressing gown, I ran into the door, stubbing my toe on the end. The pain throbbed along my foot. I cursed heavily under my breath as I reached the landing. I carefully hobbled down the stairs. I quietly walked into the kitchen; I switched on the light and went to get myself a glass of water. The water ran down my throat, the icy sensation clawed at my insides, washing over the deep and horrible feeling that sat in my stomach. Once again I trampled up the stairs. However, at that moment a sudden wail echoed around the house. I scurried up the stairs tripping over some of the steps. I rushed to the closed door of Abbey’s room. More wailing came. Then followed by raised voices and slamming of objects. What the hell was happening in there? I pressed my ear against the door. Loud yelling was belting outwards.
‘NO! Robert you can’t. Please stay,’ Abbey’s voice vibrated with dry tears.
‘Abbey, please don’t make this harder,’ Robert’s voice quivered as well. What were they arguing about? ‘I love you though!’ I heard my daughter. She never usually expresses herself like this. Robert’s was lowered to a near murmur, causing me to lean closer. ‘I love you too. But I have to, you know I do!’ My arms tensed as I heard him say that. I tried to open the door quietly, but before I got the chance, the door flung open and Robert raced down the stairs, followed by a raging Abbey. I stood still watching this dramatic scene take place. Abbey was pulling at her hair; the entire colour that was in her face, drained from her pale cheeks. I looked at Robert, who lifted his eyes towards me. I felt my stomach turn as I looked at his face. Whatever he had done to upset Rosie this much must have been pretty bad, as Abbey is very difficult to upset. Whatever it is, he wasn’t going to just walk away and leave her...
Robert’s heart sunk as he stared at David. He knew what he was doing was wrong. But what choice did he have? His dad was forcing him to do this...what could he do?
I turned away from David; it was hard enough seeing Abbey like this, but to see David look at me with such anger was another thing. I looked at Abbey, my heart swelled to see her break down like this. What made it worse was the fact that she hardly ever cried. The way she had such rage in her eyes, tore me apart. I would have found it easier for her to cry, just so it wouldn’t hear or look as bad as it did.
‘Abbey, I have to ...’ before I could any more, she stepped towards me and began thrashing against my chest, hitting me hard with clenched fists. ‘NO-DON’T-SAY-YOU-HAVE-TO...’ She spat these words as she clawed at me. ‘You don’t have to go...no!’ I couldn’t take it. I pulled her into my arms and clutched her tightly. As I pulled her in, she gave up beating me and wrapped her arms around me a well. ‘Listen to me ...’ I began. ‘I love you so much. But I have to go ... my father signed up for me months ago. You know I don’t want to. But you know what my father was like. I have no chose’ I carried on, ‘He did this when he was younger. So he expects me to follow. I have to. I love you so much.’ I couldn’t bear to say to say these words. I wrapped her hair in my hand, and pulled her closer to me. She pulled away. I lowered myself to her height, and clutched her face tightly in my hands. I watched her close her eyes at my touch. I rested my face against her cheek. Her warmth wrapped itself around me. ‘I promise you...NO! Abbey listen. I promise you, that I will try and end this. I will come back.’ I knew myself that I was making an empty promise. ‘You know I need you,’ I whispered. Abbey looked up at me with her wide, emerald green eyes. ‘Come back,’ she said. I turned to face her and kissed her. Her lips tasted of so sweet and soft. My mind ran wild with the idea of not being able to hold her again, or kiss her soft lips again. ’I will come back...’ I let go...
What the hell did he think he was doing? David thought. His mind seared with rage and anger with Robert. Does he know the damage which he had caused?
I watched as Robert let her go and rush through the door. Abbey stuttered for a moment on the spot. As I travelled down a few steps to her; she began to choke out random words of denial that he had gone. At that moment, she rocked shakily back and forth, until her body gave way and she fell to floor and tugged at her hair. I rushed to her side and I pulled her into my arms and clutched her tightly. ‘He’s gone! Why did he leave?’ She moaned into me. I ran my hand along her head and brushed her hair away from her face. My mind filled with memories of doing this same thing, when Abbey was younger and she would wake up screaming in the night from a nightmare. I would run into her and hold her tight and hum or lightly sing the song ‘imagine’ by John Lennon. I remember she would calm down, as she heard the tune, she soon fell back to sleep.
‘Shh...It’s okay. He will come back,’ I tried to fake a smile to comfort her, but I couldn’t even fool myself. ‘No he won’t!! He won’t,’ she cried a loud; ‘his dad already signed his name down. He has no choice!’ My mind went blank. So, I lifted her steadily to her feet and guided her into the living room. She sat down on the sofa, her eyes swelling bright red. ‘Dad, I love him,’ I sat next to her and wrapped my arms around her, as I did this; she pulled in against me and wrapped herself in my arms more. ‘I know; you need to calm down now’.
‘I love him...I love him,’ she kept repeating these three words, until she was only shaking violently and coughing out watery sighs and moans.
I rocked her back and forth. I leant down and kissed her forehead. ‘Shush, it’s alright. Come on,’ I whispered soothingly. Slowly Abbey began to calm down. She fell into a light and rough sleep. Every now and then, I would feel her thrash against my arms and mutter something. As I stroked her hair continuously and held her tight, I quietly hummed imagine. Minutes crawled by. The silence was my only companion in the room. I felt myself doze in and out of sleepiness. I tried my hardest to keep myself awake. But I lost the battle. I could feel myself drown in deep drossiness. I could feel waves of sleep crash over me and weigh me down. My chin fell onto my chest and arms hung loosely over Abbey’s shoulders.
David awoke the following morning, the previous events buzzing around his skull. His back ached from sleeping in such an awkward position. Abbey laid huddled the same position. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly. He lay still and just watched how calm and relaxed she looked.
Late morning, the following day, my ears were filled with a loud silence, which was then sliced by the loud ringing of the house telephone. My body jolted at sheer fright. I suddenly remembered having Abbey lying across me. I rubbed my face roughly. I carefully lifted Abbey off of me and lowered her onto the sofa, wrapping a blanket lightly around her. I quickly dashed to answer the phone, before it woke Abbey up. ‘Hello?’ I groaned, but no answer, ‘Hello?’
‘Err...Hello,’ my heart sank at the sound of the voice on the other end of the phone. ‘Robert?’ I asked.
‘Yeah,’ his voice was low. As he said this, I quietly walked out of the room so Abbey wouldn’t hear.
‘What the hell are you doing ringing after what has just happened?’ I questioned.
To my annoyance he asked ‘I was ringing to speak to Abbey, is she there?’ I sighed heavily down the phone. ‘Look Robert, do you really this is the most sensible thing?’
‘I know, what I did was wrong...’
‘She was destroyed!’ I raised my voice slightly, quickly lowering it again. I heard light footsteps behind me. ‘Look Robert, please,-” before I could say anymore, I felt the phone pull out of my hands. I watched as Abbey took the phone and looked at me questioningly and slowly trudged off with the phone.
I waited for her to come back. A moment later Abbey entered the room. A wide smile painted across her face, but she glanced at me and her smile faded rapidly. I rubbed my hands on my leg. ‘So, what did he say?’ I asked, she didn’t reply but merely gazed at me. ‘Abbey? Is everything alright? Did he say much?’ I asked again. She walked over to the table and put the phone back on its holder.
She then walked towards the sofa, but stood away from me. ‘Why didn’t you tell me he was on the phone?’ I swallowed heavily and bowed my head, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. ‘Abbey-,’
‘You didn’t want me to talk to him, did you?’ She threw at me. I stuttered for a quick answer.
‘I didn’t want to wake you love. You had a rough day. I was just doing what was best for you,’ this was true this answer. We both stared at each other for a few seconds. ‘Why didn’t you want me to talk to him, dad?’ she questioned.
‘I didn’t want to see you get hurt, I was-,’ once again she cut over the top of me.
‘No. You were just trying to take over, like you always do!’ She fired at me.
‘Of course I wasn’t. I was worried he would say something to hurt you again. I wasn’t going to risk you getting upset like before,’ How could she accuse me taking over? She is my daughter, as her father, it is my duty to protect her, isn’t it?
‘Oh don’t start telling me that you were doing what you thought was best!’ She gasped for breathe and carried on. ‘I love him dad, you know that. Don’t you care?’ I stared at her in amazement, how could she say such as thing? Of course I cared. She looked at me with wide, sweet eyes, which glistened like her mother’s. It tore me apart seeing such rage and anger build up in her gentle face. ‘How can you say that? Of course I know you love him. But he had no right to leave you in that state and without warning,’ I felt my voice waver between slight annoyance and sadness. I walked towards her, but she moved away. ‘Abbey...’
‘You want to know why he rang for me.’ She sneered at me; I hated to her use this tone with me. She had never spoken like this to me before. She continued pacing around. ‘He rang to tell me he pulled out. He didn’t want to go in the first place. So you can stand there and tell me he isn’t worthy of me, all you like. But you know what? He loves me, and I love him,’ she carried on. ‘I don’t care what you think!’
‘Don’t say that Abbey! I care! I am happy he is staying! You’re my daughter and I love you and care for your happiness!’ My mind ran wild.
‘Yeah, right. If you loved me, you wouldn’t try to hide this from me!’ She shouted these words as at me.
‘Abbey please! You know I love you. Please love,’ my stomach turned at her saying these words to me.
‘Stop trying to make yourself look better! If you don’t like Robert, that’s fine! I don’t care!’
‘Stop it now. That’s not fair. You know I like him. I just don’t want to see you get hurt,’
‘See there you go again. Always accusing him of the worst!! If you don’t like him or you aren’t happy with what I am doing; then leave me alone. I don’t want to be around you,’ she spat these words fiercely.
‘Don’t you say that to me. Please calm down-’
‘If you love me, dad, you will let me carry on with Robert,’
‘I didn’t say you couldn’t ... I just –don’t-want-to-see-him-hurt-you!’ I forced these words out.
‘Fine!’ She stormed out the room.
I stood frozen to the floor. What did she mean by this? ‘Abbey, what the hell are you doing?’
Doctor Swayne paced up and down the corridor outside the room. He tapped his head in a frustrated manner. He kept practicing which tone was more appropriate, or should he not the patient at all?
It is days like these that I hate my job. It is this type of moment which pull at your heart and make you just want to walk out, and say ‘Sorry, I’ve had it, mate!’ I remember I had to go into a school once, and give a bloody talk about ‘the dangers of alcohol’ and all stuff like that. It was to a class of Year 11’s. At the end of my talk I had to answer questions. To begin with, the questions were alright, the kids were asking ways they could still enjoy a drink sensibly, or how they can avoid being hurt by a stranger who was drunk. Until one moment, a small, red headed girl sticks her hand up in the air and asks ‘If you are a doctor, then surely you get used to telling families or friends this kind of thing. Don’t you just get used to seeing these kinds of sites?’ I remember standing there, looking at her, gob smacked. I mean, how in hell, do you get used to telling someone’s family or friends that their loved one has just died at your hands? How do you get used to seeing such bloody and gory sights? How do you get over the fact that you’re the one who has to tell someone that they won’t ‘make it’, shall we say? Of course you don’t get bloody used to it!
I turned to my patient. I stood by his side. He lifted his head, and stared right into the eyes. I wanted to look away and just yell at the wall. ‘This isn’t easy but...’ he cut me off.
‘You don’t need to tell me, I know. All you people have the same look when you are about to say what you’re goanna say’. He chuckled and smiled lightly at me.
‘Mr Granger, I really must...’ again. ‘Let’s just leave it as this, eh? You have told me and I am going to sit here alone, going over all the things in my head of what I regret and begin self pity, alright? ’ I stared at him astounded. Brave guy, I thought. In all my years of being a doctor, I had never seen anyone take this so light heartedly. He stared back at me for a few seconds, smirked, and then turned over and blanked me. I clutched at me clip board and slowly walked out the room.
As I turned the corner, there sat a young girl, no older than seventeen I would have thought. She was starring at the wall opposite her. Her arms clasped around her body tightly. A young boy sat next to her, his arm wrapped around her. I walked slightly closer to them. My heart sank. I looked at her. She slowly turned to me. Her face was full of panic and confusion. ‘Hey! Do you know David Granger?’ she addressed me. I blinked slightly. ‘Err, yes. I have been treating him...’ I tried to sound professional. She was looking straight past me. ‘Is he in that room?’ I turned my head to where she was pointing at. ‘Yes. You must be his daughter, Abbey?’ at the moment she completely blanked me and ran off into the room. ‘Abbey!’ The young boy called after her. He went forward to grab her arm, but by the time he reached her, he was clutching at nothing but mid air. He sighed heavily, and turned to look at me. ‘Sorry about that, she has been panicking since she got the phone call,’ he said to me.
‘You are...?’ I asked. He rubbed the back of his head.
‘Sorry, I’m Abbey’s boyfriend...can you tell me what’s going on? Is David going to be okay?’ He questioned. I sighed heavily and swallowed. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you this. Family only,’ the boy looked at me wide eyed, he rubbed his hand through his brown hair, which was filled with small curls, which hung loosely on his head. He bought his hands down and held them out business like. ‘I know I’m not blood related, but please. She has been going crazy worrying. If you could just tell me whether or not things are looking good?’ he begged. Why do people have to be so difficult? I asked myself. ‘Look, I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you,’ I replied firmly. I began to walk away slowly. At that moment, I felt a firm hold of my lower arm. I sighed heavily and turned to look at him. ‘It’s not good is it?’ he quietly asked. I didn’t say anything; I just looked him sternly, edged a weak smile, and lowered my head. The boy loosened his grip. He turned away from me and put his arms behind his head and clawed at the back of his shoulders and neck. Once he turned to face me, he just murmured. ‘Right, thanks,’ and lowered himself into a near chair and rested his hands in his head.
Robert stormed down the staircase, leaving his father yelling loudly. He had just told his father he wouldn’t be going on a head with his plans. As he came down the stairs, he raged open the living room door.
My Dad had just finished roaring and spitting in my face, because I refused to join his precious dream for me. I slammed the living room door in frustration. I kicked the sofa, without thinking and resulted in hurting myself. My foot burnt in pain. I sat down on the sofa massaging my bruising foot. I cursed heavily out loud. My bloody father, he never did care what I wanted. He applied for me to join this stupid thing, when he knows I didn’t want to. Just because he had done this and had dedicated half his bloody and bitter life to it, doesn’t I am going to just sit back and say ‘Sure father. You run my life, it’s not like I have anything important in it.’ I leant back on the sofa and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples slowly.
At that moment, a low knocking came from the room. I groaned and tried to ignore whoever it was. But they kept banging and banging. I rose stubbornly to my feet, and trudged to the front door. I grudgingly unlocked the door, while in the process dropping the keys, whilst banging my head on the door handle. I pulled the door open, excepting to see some lousy friend of my dads, but there stood Abbey. She stood clutching at a heavy rucksack. Her beautiful long chocolate hair fell down her shoulders, drenched from the torrential rain. Her clothes stuck to her slender body. She lifted her eyes and looked at me. ‘Sorry Rob. Can I come in?’ she sobbed.
‘Course you can!’ I pulled her in gently and took her rucksack from her. I shut the door behind. I didn’t know what to do. I looked at her worryingly.
I signalled for us to go into the living room. Abbey slowly staggered into the room, I followed awkwardly behind her. She stood still for a moment in the middle of the room. She then turned looked at me. ‘Is everything alright?’ I asked. Abbey looked at me for a moment and then came and put her arms around me. ‘What was wrong?’ I held her tight.
‘I had a huge argument with my Dad,’ she explained. Abbey pulled away from me and began pacing around the room. My eyes followed her carefully. Abbey hardly ever argued with her dad. Just then something clicked in my brain. My insides filled with guilt. ‘Oh Abbey, I’m sorry this is because of me and what I did,’ I groaned on, ‘I shouldn’t have left you the way I did. It was wrong. David has every right to be like this with me.’ She stopped her tracks and looked straight at me. ‘No, this has nothing to do with you,’ she said. I looked at her in confusion, ‘Then what...’ she stopped me there and began ranting about what had happened.
‘It was as if he was trying to force me to do what he wanted!’ she finished with, ‘I mean can you believe him. You didn’t want to go anyway and he begins telling me, he was protecting me.’ I was sat on the sofa, letting her go on. ‘He was just protecting you Abbey,’ this just slipped out. Why the hell did I just say this? I stood up and walked towards the other side of the room, just to be safe. I kept my head down and didn’t look at Abbey. ‘What do you mean?’ she gasped. I couldn’t prevent myself. ‘He was only looking out for you, I mean, what I did was wrong,’ I replied. Abbey stared at me in complete shock. ‘Are you siding with him?’ she asked threateningly. I wracked my brain for something sensible to say. ‘No, I’m not siding with anyone. But he was only doing what he thought was best,’ I was cut short by the loud ringing of the phone.
I sighed and walked over to the phone. ‘Hello?’ I asked. A rough and strong male voice spoke to me.
‘Good evening. This is the Helton General Hospital, is Abbey Granger there please?’ The hospital, what were they ringing for Abbey? ‘Err, yeah sure,’ I said. I turned and held the phone out to Abbey. She stood with her arms tightly locked. She turned her beautiful head towards me, which held a deathly scowl. ‘It’s the hospital,’ I muttered. She unlocked her arms, and twitched her head to the side and looked at me confused. ‘The hospital?’ she mouthed. She took she phone from me and began talking to them. ‘My father?’ She questioned, ‘What do you mean?’ She paced around the room. ‘Please, just tell me,’ she went on. I could see tension rising in her eyes. ‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘Yes, yes ... I will’. She hung up the phone and stood leaning on the table for a few seconds. She stayed there. I didn’t know whether to stay anything, ask anything. I just stayed where I was, and watched her.
Abbey tapped the table lightly, but still didn’t turn round. She only moved her head lightly to the side. ‘That was about my dad,’ she said. I stood up and walked near to where Abbey was. I let her carry on. ‘He...He fell. When we were arguing, I ran up stairs...he followed and he must have,’ she stopped there. She turned completely away from me. I heard low sobs. She was crying. I walked over to her. ‘Abbey,’ I said. She still didn’t turn round. ‘Abbey’. I held onto her shoulder and gentle turned her round. I saw sliver, glowing tears dance down her radiant cheeks. I pulled her into me, Abbey tried to pull away, but I pulled her in closer. ‘No, let me go,’ She moaned. At that moment, Abbey pulled away from me. I staggered forwards to try and keep hold of her. She ran towards the door, and began tugging at the handle, but she couldn’t open it. Again and again, she pulled at the door, but failed to open it. I walked to her side. ‘Abbey, what did they say?’ I asked patiently. As I asked this, Abbey began to thud furiously against the door. ‘Robert, open the damn door!’ she yelled.
‘What did they say? Abbey! Stop IT!’ I raised my voice.
At this, Abbey’s thudding slowed down. Her body was pressed against the door. Slowly, she fell down the door. Her face was clasped her hands. I wrapped her in my arms and cradled her. ‘He followed me up the stairs, and when I left he must have...fallen’ her voice faltered and she broke down. I rocked her back and forth and kept her close. ‘The doctor said he has a head injury. He’s severely hurt,’ she sobbed into my arms. ‘It’s my fault. He followed me, and he fell down the stairs. It’s my fault!’
David’s daughter entered the side ward. David lay staring dully at the ceiling. His skin was ghostly white; his eyes had lost their joyful glow, which they used to hold. His body shivered slightly.
My heart filled with dread and sorrow. I looked at his limp body. His breathing was slow and shallow. Every now and then, his body would twitch and slightly shiver. If I hadn’t walked out, he wouldn’t have followed me up the stairs and that would have meant he wouldn’t have ran down to try and catch up with me. At that moment, my throat felt as though someone had stuffed their fist down it. I leaned forward and held his hand. The touch of my hand, made David jolt slightly. He turned and looked at me through drowsy eyes. He smiled lightly and raised his hand to his face and rubbed his eyes gently and then dragged his hand through his hair. He then rested it above his head on his pillow. My dad kept looking at me with bright blue eyes. They were wide and caring; his eyes gave me the sense that they were scanning me. As if looking inside me, for what I felt.
I, Abbey Granger, am not really one to cry. But at this moment, my eyes seared with outrages, burning sensation of tears. I bit back my tongue and swallowed hard. Yet, the battle between the burning pains won over me. Tears began pouring down my cheeks. I looked up at my dad with my watery eyes. The smile which sat on his face, quickly faded, ‘Oh Abbey,’ he whispered. ‘My little girl,’ He sat up in his bed; he placed his hand on my face and softly whipped my tears away. He edged towards me, ‘Come here,’ and he let me climb into his arms. I felt like how I did when I was younger, and my dad would hug me tightly, till I was better. ‘I must be worth something, for you to get this worked up for me,’ he chuckled. I let out a low laugh, and rested my head on his shoulder.
‘Who said I was worked up about you?’ I tried to joke. He laughed quietly at this and prodded me in the ribs. ‘Watch it you,’ he choked out.
‘Dad, I’m...’ before I could continue, dad cut me off.
‘Don’t you even think about blaming yourself! This has nothing to do with you. I was careless, that’s all,’ he said this firmly. I knew I couldn’t argue any further. Yet, I still felt this deep, sickening, wrenching feeling pulling at my insides. I couldn’t help myself. I broke down into his shoulder. He rubbed my back lovingly. ‘Come on now, it’s alright,’ he said. I closed my eyes and lay comfortablely in his arms. I always felt safe and protected when I was with my dad, he always knew what to say and how to make me feel better. As I curled up in my dad’s hold, he became still and calm. Neither of us spoke, just the sound of the strange and complicated machines that beeped and bleeped. Minutes flew by. I looked up and David had fallen asleep. His chin rested on my head. Quietly, I climbed off the bed, and lowered his head carefully onto the pillow. My throat felt dry and crisp. So, I crept out the room and went to get myself a drink.
When I walked out the room, I saw Robert sat hunched in his chair staring at the opposite wall. A rush of deep gratitude seemed to run through my body. At the sound of my footsteps, Robert lifted his head and turned to look at me. He stood up gracefully and just kept on looking at me. He stood rigid, his hands deep in his jean pockets. I marvelled at his beauty. His radiant brown curls hung loosely on his head. Robert’s moonlit green eyes stared into me and didn’t blink at all. He had high raised cheek bones, which gave him the look of grand superior. Many people had said it, whenever Robert walked in the room; he gave the sense of owning the place. But he isn’t like that at all.
I ran to him, and flung myself at him. I felt his arms wrap around me. I ran my hands through his curls. I could feel his head on my shoulders. His warm breath made my skin feel tingly. He pulled away from me, but keeping a slight hold of my back. ‘Are you alright?’ he spoke softly and quietly. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m fine. How come you waited so long?’ I asked.
‘Well, I couldn’t leave you could I? I love you,’ he smirked as he said this.
‘I love you too,’ I muttered. He lowered himself down to my height, and kissed me.
The kiss ended, and Robert looked down at Abbey. Her beautiful face was alighted with a radiant smile. Her long, glistening and brown hair trailed over her shoulders. Her raised cheek bones, glistened with a natural rose shade. Robert held onto her slender body.
I looked down at her. Yet, before we could say or do anything else. A mad beating erupted from David’s room. ‘What going on in there?’ Abbey gasped. She pulled away from my hold and ran to the doorway. I followed suit. Abbey stood in the doorway gaping. Horror entered her face. She ran to David’s side. I stepped into room. The site was heartbreaking.
David’s body jolted fiercely in different directions. His head tore back, followed by his eyes rolling into the back of his head. The whites of them were dull. He choked savagely. Abbey fell to her knees. She grabbed hold of David’s hand, shouting his name. I didn’t know what to do. Her eyes widened, yet no tears trickled down. She kept yelling David’s name. She throw herself onto his chest, and held tightly onto his face. ‘Dad, Dad!’ she cried. At that moment, Doctor Swayne came rushing in, followed by serious looking staff. Before Doctor Swayne looked at me, his face showed the sincere expression that what about to happen wasn’t good. He turned his eyes to Abbey, who sat crouching at David’s side now, filling the room with disheartening and daunting screams. I nodded my head slowly at him.
I travelled towards Abbey and went down to her level. ‘Abbey...Abbey, come on,’ I tried to keep my voice as soothing as possible. I placed my hands shivering waist. But she pulled away. ‘No, no. I can’t!’ She wailed. She held on to David’s arm. His body had slowly stopped shaking so violently. Now, he looked as though he was in a deep and troubled sleep. But, yet, he wasn’t moving a single bit. ‘Abbey, come on. They can help him, come on,’ I kept my voice low and sedate. ‘NO! I can’t! I can’t leave him!’ She sobbed. ‘Robert, please, I don’t want to leave him’.
‘I know. Come on now,’ I said. She nodded lightly. I placed my arm around her and supported her with the other. She staggered to her feet and allowed me to guide her out.
We walked slowly till we reached the family waiting room. We waited there for a while. I took of my jacket off and placed across Abbey. She lay curled up across my lap. She held one of my hands, and pressed it against her face. As she huddled her face away into trembling hands, I could feel her breath against my hand. It was cold and felt sharp, with her fear and worry. I slowly ran my other hand through her smooth and beautiful hair. I leant down and kissed her head. As I pulled up, I gently brushed my forefinger against her once glowing cheek, which now looked a pale and sickening white. Her eyes were blood shot and puffy, with her mascara smudged underneath. I wanted to say something to her, to comfort her. I wanted to try and get rid of heavy feeling which I felt and knew she felt twice as worse. Time passed by, but still didn’t bring us any news.
No news came. To Abbey, it felt like she had been waiting years. She rose from lying across Robert’s lap and leant against his shoulder instead. She kept her eyes closed, hoping that she would open them and just find that she was making all this up in her head. At this moment and at this time, different feelings and thoughts rushed about her. She didn’t understand it. Apart of her wanted to wait and see what the Doctor would say, but something gave her feeling that they would bring nothing but bad news. In her mind, she didn’t know if she could bear to take bad news.
However, after a few taunting minutes, the tall and skinny Doctor Swayne appeared at the side of the door. His face was long and solemn. His eyes fell on Abbey, who looked back at him. She knew that he wished to speak to her, but she didn’t move, but only lowered her eyes away from him. Robert got up went to speak to Doctor Swayne instead. After a couple minutes, Robert came back in. Abbey’s eyes followed the doctor has he fell out of site.
‘Abbey,’ was all of what Robert could say. He took a deep breath and tried to carry. ‘David didn’t respond to the treatment. He...he, fell into a kind of comma, and well, he hasn’t woken up. I’m sorry Abbey...’ She didn’t do anything. She didn’t move or speak. She just sat there. Robert watched her cautiously. He lifted his hand to hold hers. But before he could, Abbey walked out the room, leaving the door to slam shut and let its hinges moan.
It’s not that I didn’t care for my dad, because he meant the world to me. He was what made everything simple and easy to cope with. But something inside me, made me feel fragile. By this I mean; I didn’t know whether I could stand seeing my father like this. Seeing him have that fit. It broke my heart. So I knew inside that, for sure, that I didn’t want to risk having that memory of him stain my mind and have that as the last memory of which I remember. I wanted to keep my memories of him happy and clear. I knew my father would understand. From that day I didn’t see my father in hospital.
My Uncle Clive, my dad’s brother, had come to look after me. My father and Clive had always got on well together, complete opposites of each other in personality though, yet when it came to looks, they were very similar. They both had long, swiping, brown hair which came just above their eyes. They both shared similar and handsome faces. They were strong and muscular, with sharp and wise facial features. They both shared bright, shining eyes. Except, David‘s eyes were bright, peaceful and a sparkling blue. While, Clive had dark, powerful and mystic brown eyes, which matched his personality. Both tall in height, except a couple inches difference from David, who was the tallest and oldest. Uncle Clive was there for my father when my mother walked out of us. He supported us.
I stayed with him in my house, while David was in hospital, well...till he left hospital. Robert also stayed with us. His father, surprisingly, allowed this, and had come round to speak to me. He said how sorry he was for me, and if there was anything I needed or wanted, he would be happy to help. Well, I must be honest; I nearly fell down flat on my face. Since I decided not to visit my dad, Clive had been going.
I spoke to my uncle about the choice I had made. ‘Would he understand?’ I asked quietly. I sat on the sofa, just staring at my hands. ‘Yes, he would. To be honest, I don’t think he would want you to see him like this,’ Clive replied. It made it hard speaking to him about this, because he had eyes so similar to my dad’s. It felt like I was betraying him.
‘You really think he would want that?’ I asked still staring at my fingers. ‘I know he would,’ Clive answered sternly. ‘I don’t know if you knew this. But David did the same as you.’ I looked up at my uncle in confusion. I narrowed my brows. ‘He did,’ his voice became quiet and soft. ‘When our father was in hospital, dying (his voice fell quiet as he said that word), David refused to visit him. It wasn’t that he was being difficult or horrible. But like you, he didn’t want his last memory to be of his father being the way he was. Our mother understood completely,’ he voice trailed off. He lifted his head and looked at me. ‘Well, he never told me that,’ I laughed lightly. Something felt something lift inside me. I had never been told this, never. Inside of my mind, my decision suddenly felt slightly easier, because now I knew my dad had done the same, then he would have understood.
I turned to look at my uncle. He placed his hand on my mine, and squeezed them lightly. He gave me a small smile. ‘You, Abbey, you are more like your father than you know,’ he spoke this quietly and low. This was strange to hear Clive say something so kind and touching, because he isn’t really a sentimental person, he is kind and friendly, but he had never been the best at, well a ‘softy’. He moved towards me and hugged me softly. ‘Wow! This is something different,’ I tried to joke, but I couldn’t find any humour to joke at all. After a few seconds, we pulled away. It wasn’t awkward, but I’m like Uncle Clive. When it comes to comforting people, I never know what to say or do. I always have the fear that I will make them cry more.
Time passed slowly. I soon found myself lying in bed. I sat in the mouth of the darkness. I had the duvet up to my chin. Somehow though, my body didn’t seem too get any warmer. My bones had a deathly chill sitting in them. My skin slithered and crawled, as my veins felt like my blood had stopped flowing through them, and had frozen over. All I could think about was my dad. Was I doing the right thing? He had done the same when he was younger and Uncle Clive said David wouldn’t want me seeing him like the way he was. For some strange reason, I jerked upwards and leant down to reach my notepad. I grabbed the nearest pen and began scribbling down on to it. I was writing a letter to my father.
The first thing I want to say to you is, I love you Dad. I want you to know that I will be following what you did when you were younger, with your father. So, I decided to write you a letter each day, and get Uncle Clive to read it. I know you would understand and that you would tell me to do this.
To lighten the mood, I know this is typical of me, but...Doctor Swayne, is very hot. The long brown hair, and large sparkly eyes and he is a doctor!! Just please don’t tell Robert this, I love him very much, but your Doctor is lovely. I know what you’re thinking, and Uncle Clive. But luckily I am not that there, to see you both role your eyes and sigh heavily at me. Don’t worry though; I am happy with my guy.
You’ll be pleased to know; I am learning how to clean my own washing and haven’t blown the cooker up yet! I can hear what you’re thinking now, ‘Oh Gosh, please don’t let her near the oven!!’ However, no need to panic, Robert and Uncle Clive are teaching me well. Only one thing, Uncle Clive needs to learn that I don’t appreciate picking up his dirty boxers. Sorry Uncle Clive, but I put my foot down at that!
Anyway, I am going to stop now. Your lovely brother is standing outside my room, with a deadly tooth brush and tube of tooth paste, and stern look on his face. Scary. I think this is a warning to go to bed.
Another letter coming tomorrow!
I read the letter through again. I then folded it and wrote ‘My brilliant Dad! Love your brilliant daughter x.’ I placed the letter on my bedside table, and attempted to try and go to sleep.
At 11:00 in the morning, Clive was pulling on his woolly travelling coat and began tying his shoe laces, ready to go and visit David. When his niece, Abbey, came walking to him clutching a piece of paper, and an envelope in her small hands.
‘’What’ve you got there, kiddo?’ I asked. Throughout the past few days, I tried to remain as calm and happy as possible, for Abbey’s sake. Since she found out about her dad, she hadn’t been her usual up beat and lively self. She had lost the shine to her eyes and the cheery shade of red to her cheeks. Yet, I knew my niece very well, and Abbey was never one to speak to someone about what she was feeling. She would bottle things up to the extent where she would wind herself into such a state. Abbey looked at me and faked a smile. ‘I, err, have a letter I have written to my dad, and some photos here,’ she said lifting each thing in an different hand. ‘Because I’m not going to see my dad, I was wondering whether you read letters to him from me...or is that-,’ she trailed off. I looked straight at her. She was so much like her father. ‘That’s a good idea,’ I complemented her.
‘I am going to be writing a letter each day,’ she muttered. She handed me the letter and photos. ‘Could you read him the letters please, to him? Also, could you put those photos in his room?’ I saw her eyes glistened with fresh tears. ‘Of course,’ I walked towards her, and placed my hand at the back of her head, and kissed her forehead lightly. I saw her close her eyes at my touch. ‘Call me when you are coming home,’ she said quietly. I nodded and winked at her, and set off.
When I got in the car, I checked to make sure Abbey couldn’t see. I edged onto opening the letter. But I couldn’t. I felt wrong opening it, as it was for David. So I tucked it away in my shirt pocket. However, I opened the envelope containing the photos. As I did so, they all fell into my lap. I scooped them up and looked at the first one. The picture was of David and Abbey. The photo didn’t look to old, only resent. Abbey’s face was looking directly up at mine. She was pulling a strange face to the camera. Then next to her was David, who sat next to her grinning and laughing. I chuckled lightly at the picture. Like I said, just like her father. A poser.
I put that one down, and looked at the next one. This one was of me, David and Abbey. David and I looked very young on the picture, and so did Abbey. She looked about the age of three or four. Her hair was in high pig tails, with red bows tied in. She was sat on David’s knee, but was holding one of my hands and looking at me with a cheeky grin. As I kept looking at the picture, I felt my eyes begin to swim in salty tears. My heart felt like it was drowning in the sad, but happy memories which came flooding back to me. It suddenly struck me that this was just before Lucy walked out on David and Abbey.
I rubbed my eyes, and breathed in fresh air. I put the photos back into the envelope and resealed it. After I did that, I stuck the radio on, but changing it to the Beatles Soundtrack. I fiddled around choosing a track, and finally decided on ‘Here comes the Sun’. I set off for the hospital.
As I turned into the hospital car park, a sudden pang of dread filled me. I sat in the car staring straight ahead at nothing. My hands fell from the steering wheel. It hadn’t clicked in my head. My eldest and only brother was in the building opposite me. My brother who was critically ill. My heart sank. My brother had been through so much, these past seventeen years. He had become a father at the age of sixteen. His girlfriend and mother of his child walked out on him. He still became a successful journalist, bought up a beautiful and wonderful daughter. I admired him. This was not right or even fair that this happened to him. ‘God damn it!’ I slammed my hands down the steering wheel. A loud honking noise made me jump fiercely. I turned round and saw an old ugly man sat behind me in an old banger waving his fists at me. I looked around and a queue of cars was forming behind me. I hadn’t realised, I had just stopped randomly in the middle of the car park. My cheeks felt wet and cold. I touched them and tears had begun running down my cheeks. I wiped my eyes, and began to find a space to park in.
I muttered rude suggestions to the man in the car behind me under my breath. A few minutes later, I pulled into a near space. I trudged through the frosty air which bit fiercely at my face. After bracing the deathly cold, I was shown to the room where David was. I stood in the doorway, clutching at the photos. I noticed that around the blank cream room, people had already been in or sent cards and message to David. There was a worn down wooden chest of draws, in the far corner of the room, with several brightly coloured cards sat on the top. Each one was very similar, either saying, ‘Miss you,’, or ‘Get well soon’.
After observing the cards, I turned my attention to David. He lay so still on the bed. The cover pulled up to his arm pits, and neatly tucked into the side of the bed, as if he was going to escape. He arms lay rigid at his side. Motionless. In some way, he looked uncomfortable. I walked to his side. His face was bloodless and wax like. Yet his lips were a flaring red. His chest rose and fell repeatedly, being filled with wasted air from a creaking machine which sat next to him. Tubes were stuck to every available part of his body. It was a harrowing scene to witness. I felt entirely grateful that Abbey was here to see her father like this. She was right; it was wrong for her memories to be tarnished by this.
I began sticking the photos up, on the wall above his bed
Abbey watched as her uncle pulled out the drive, she waved to him and then trudged to the kitchen. When she reached the kitchen, she pulled out a chair at the kitchen stable and slumped into it. She waited for Robert to come down