She gave some thought into what to wear
Not too formal, not too casual; and just that little bit of flare
Then what to bring
Flowers, chocolates; a fragrant candle ; and a little something
With a little teensy little bit of bling
Now. Who’ll be there
That man -eater from upstairs ,
In her little black number
She’s sure to wear and get her share
Of caviar , Champaign , canapés before some dumb-fuck
Trips into her lurid snare.
Who knows ; maybe she’d bag a pair .
The middle-class dinner party rules ;
Don’t slobber, don’t over -sex it and ,easy on the booze
Don’t throw up on the kitchen floor
No quick fuck behind the closet door
Keep your knickers on like mama said
Keep it country till he’s safely in your bed
Popularity contests with the other guests
Always such agonising tests
Keeping informal scores
Smiling sweetly at those gruesome bores.
Tinsel talk dazzles from your dash -flash head
Tomorrow they'll be quoting just what you said
But you know just how to behave
Just keep them guessing , for each’s a knave .
They cant resist your adorable pert breasts
Just enough décolletage lest these pests
Loose interest and veer to the man-eater
Who is incidentally now with Peter-
Was with Roger just a minute ago
And next who knows who’se in the throw
Be so so sweet and fake amazement
With the artist from the basement
He’s got an exhibition coming up
Maybe tease him subtly ; make him sup
From your effervescent bubbling cup.
And tomorrow she’ll be bright eyed again ;
In the sack with the boss ; she's put him in her pen.
This morning in the hall, a bouquet of flowers
For those few raunchy hours
Which for his remorseful infidelity
He'll pay gladly by upping considerably her salary
To risk his wife’s blissful serenity
So much worse than an eternity
Of living dangerously , with a death penalty
He'll pay the price of piety
And hush the talk , hopefully
Finally of that company
Christmas Party
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