Part I: Who shall wed first?
(Enter: Egeus, Theseus, Hippolyta, and Priest)
Egeus: Let us get on with this great wedding day.
And then let feast, and dance and sway.
First let us start with my girl and her man
That they may be wed, just like the plan.
Theseus: We're being wed first, for I am royalty.
Egeus: But good sir, do underst-
Theseus ( interupting Egeus): I don't care of thy needs, ye old man.
We will be wed first, that is the plan.
Egeus (infuriated): Fine then!! My daughter will be wed elsewhere.
Hippolyta: Now, now, let us not fight over such dumbness.
For this fight doth wither our happiness.
Let us not act as if we are such beasts,
But instead let's be noble and ask the priest.
Priest: Oh, I thank thou for giving thought of me
Instead of arguing so selfishly.
In my opinion, Theseus is right.
For royalty always is first in sight.
(pauses to think)Fine then, we will all decide without dread.
Theseus and Hippolyta will first be wed.
Theseus: Well said. Your words are as wise as the moon.
Let usdisperse...and meet back later at noon.
(Theseus and Hippolyta exit)
(Egeus scowls at the priest and they both exit together)
Part II: At The Wedding.
(Music Player prances in singing and playing instrument.
Followed by Theseus and Hippolyta, arm in arm,
Followed by the Priest.
They walk until the Priest gets to the pulpit.)
Priest: Oh, you happy couple Please hold hands.
(They hold hands, Priest turns to Theseus.)
Priest: Theseus, do you promise
To love this woman with all your heart.
In this family, you must do your part.
Love your children, love your spouse.
Bring in wood, clean the house.
Do not smoke, do not swear.
Do not gamble, don't you dare.
Do not chew, do not spit. (Priest leans towards Theseus and whispers, pointing at Hippolyta)
If you do, she'll have a fit.
With all these vows that you make,
This woman's hand, do you take?
(They both stare at each other for a few seconds.)
Well come on boy, This is like"deal or no deal", just a bit quicker. Make your decision.
Theseus (turning to Hippolyta): I will do all that and more for my bride.
Through all our troubles, we'll stand side by side.
Priest (turning to Hippolyta): Now do you, Hippolyta promise
To love this man with all your heart.
In this family, you must do "your" part.
Wash the clothes, do the dishes.
Always grant your childrens wishes.
Sweep the floor, cook the food.
Keep your groom in a good mood.
Don't be angry, don't be brittle,
No matter what problem, big or little.
With all these vows that you take,
This good man's hand do you take.
Hippolyta: I will do all that and more for my groom.
Priest: (mutters rathers loudly): What more "can" you do?
Hippolyta (continues): I will make sure he is never in gloom.
Priest (turning to the center of them): Well then, Theseus and Hippolyta.
May you have a long and prosperous marriage.
Show me the baby when he's in his carriage.
I now pronounce you, husband and wife.
You may now kiss the bride.