They walked in the balmy evening through the caravan park, crossed the golf club down to the shoreline where a path paved with pampas grass led up to the cliff.
In the torpid summer coolness of evening twilight the chalk face of the cliff , flaking like the face of a blowsy powdered woman ; crumpled and falling in upon its jowls
The drifting scents of cutgrass and decaying seaweed swayed and wafted in his nostrils as they walked beyond the park lights to the foot of the cliff where the grass was thicker and dry.
She had been strangely quite tonight. They‘d played a game of tennis earlier and the musty taste and smell of tide on abandoned shore flared in his nostrils and he was urged by the response of her body .He took her hand and drew her down. They hadn’t spoken . Only the sound of the waves crashing and dragging stones . She resisted for a moment and then at his silent urging she sat down.
The kiss was gentle at first but it grew in ferocity as each sought out the other and each mouth surrendered to the probing of the other ; sliming intertwining tongues and the taste of the others mouth ; soft parted lips opened as a single fold of flesh ; ravenous for the soft gelatinous rapture ; limbs intertwining ; all the subtler urgings of two bodies in complete surrender surging on as a wave swelling and surging to the shore .
She pulled back for an instant and her hands found the shape of his face , traced the curve of his mouth. She looked at him ; doubt , urgency ; and a strange urgent drive , fused with the timidity and anticipation. He looked into her face and saw the strange wantonness and her deep vulnerability. Something chaste that he hesitated to defile .His heart against her breast thumping as if his racing beat was urging her heart too . He held her and his checks could feel the flame in hers . He waited ; unfamiliar unsure , afeared as her hand went gently down his front and sought his zip.
He flinched as his body responded to the touch of her hand She held him and looked at his face again as if in a curious fusion of fear, bewilderment ; revulsion and wonder. .
He slid out of his trousers and his penis lay against her thigh.
-Be gentle ; - she said .. Be careful..- As she surrendered her open thighs . .
He slid her pants down and she looked at him again open mouthed , helpless , against the swelling waves of consuming exhilaration . Her passion growing with her breathing , wanton ; open mouthed ; that mixture of anticipation and abandon. The moment before her first penetration , what went through her mind . Did she think of sacrifice or was her ardour consumed ; beyond any other thinking just then,
She parted her legs.
-Be gentle- ; .pleading , imploring - wanton , sanctified and sacrificial .
He pressed against her labia gently till the lips began to part . She gave a little shiver , and clutched his arm, and again her mouth sought his and sucked him of his saliva .
He pushed slowly into her introitus ; the lips parted ;yielding with unhurried leisure slowly ..so slowly like the soft tearing of damp tissue paper ; and then .. with a throbbing thrust his penis entered her and it seemed to him as if it were like a rocketing pheasant breaking through the copse out into the freedom of the open air ;.free from the resisting tissue and through ..He slid into her fully ; and the full warmth of her fresh vagina swallowed him ;consumed him in its sumptuous warmth ,
He held back knowing he was on the point of orgasm .; distracted himself against the inexorable current ; he gently withdrew and slowly probed forward into her again . ; she trembled all over ; her body fighting her nature; her passion and her love fused in the fire of the pain and pleasure of this moment. The terror and the ecstasy; unbearable and yet inexorable ; what sensation awaited her between these fused intensities ?
She held him with all her might. Clutched his hair and she felt him breathing hot against her cheek , his forehead driven into the grass , holding back and as he struggled to restrain his swelling seed ; her sweat mixed with his against his cheek. She groaned in a moment of agony and pleasure .
He held her face in wonder ; knowing that this the most fragile gesture must be savoured like never before .the intensity of his swelling orgasm was racing inexorably; her vagina sucking gently at every point of his penis .she held him in all her soft warm the lavish tenderness of her swollen tissues ; .he held back with all his reserve
-Are you ok -
She held him , nodded her head , and he climaxed in a massive torrent as his seed burst into her .
They lay together panting in the languorous humid night, and the waves broke on the strand below .finally he began to withdraw ; wet and dripping sperm .
Caressed her face , kissed her beaded brow , ; drew in the scent of her vagina .
She looked into his face and held it in her hands,
- Oh God !! - did it hurt. His voice remote ;and like another’s
- Yea- ! She moaned into the sweltered grass
-But … a nice kinda hurt..
He began to withdraw from the soft gelatinous warmth.
- No !-, she insisted and held his face close to hers
- Not yet , leave it .. Please another minute ..
He felt the vermillion silken walls of her vagina tighten ; embrace him as in a grasp .
She held his face close and the summer breeze played between their checks cool in the summer night .
He thought of her years earlier at a party when he danced with her in her early teens . When they turned out the lights she had gripped him with that same urgent strength; pressing into him so suddenly that he had an instant erection ,
Now, he felt himself grow hard again inside her.
Slowly he began to move in gentle thrust until she threw her head back away from him as if now alone on her journey ; and new dark and unanticipated pleasures awaited her . Unlike what she ever felt masturbating. She threw her head back arching her neck as she gripped him with her legs and as the wave began to swell , he took her to the crest and they surfed together higher until its force raced forward as it sped towards the shore and crashed in a tumult all along the strand in one spray of splendid foam ,
They fell breathless into one another’s arms . Their beaded sweat drenched foreheads fused and in that instant he felt he could see right into her very soul.
He felt a strangeness in this love making . Never before was it like this . This time he didn’t withdraw ; just grew flaccid in that cavernous warmth
. Her giving to him was a gift of the flesh , like she had parted with a piece of herself and had gifted it to him . He kissed her for the first time without any intimation of any passion . But of love .
And for the first time he began to realise that maybe at last he did love.
They lay there for some time but the night was drawing cool . They separated and looked at one another as different people somehow now.
- Don’t change toward me now - she said demurely
He held her as they stood up .
- I feel .. She began to say
- Sore ?
- A little
Not knowing what else to say he said
-Thanks ! - he hugged her .
I feel a little .. You know ..
- What ?- he said with concern.
- well.. I dunno - like Yucky ??
-I know ..
-Lets go for a little swim ..!
She had slipped her little red dress and teased him
He took off his shirt and trousers and they went down over the little crop of pampas grass to the strand
- Race you to the rock !!
And she was gone . Into the silver waves. She was a strong swimmer . There was a big boulder protruding out of the sea about a 100 yards out
- Come on !
He ran in to the breaking surf and swam out to her ..but she was gone
He strong sure even stroke leaving an eddy in her wake. She reached the rock and had crawled up before he came up breathless .
- Fags !!- she chided as he climbed up.
The stars were out in and the night sky was a dazzling bewilderment with their abundance
- Show me the stars
- Ok -! he sought to find some bearings in the constellations as the gentle waves drifted round them like silent mountains of ink
He pointed to Cygnus .. Vega , Altair
- They call that the Summer Triangle .. Those three ..
- Do you believe in infinity ?
He hesitated and then laughed .
- You have a curious way of approaching astronomy ..
- Oh Shut up and say ..
- Yea .. Well ,It always makes me wonder about everything like that when I look up. Its not like reading facts about stars in a book . When you look up and imagine that the light is coming from some of them started off when Nero was a boy
- You mean Nero who fiddled whilst Rome did Burn- she teased
- The very guy .
- Do you believe that ?
Yes .. It has to be . He started to explain but she cut him short
- Lets just look at them.
He chuckled and held her again . She was a in a child in a woman’s sometimes
- Feeling better ?
- Less Less.. Yucky?- he teased .
- Yes Mister ! - she punched playfully him in the chest .
As she swam ahead of him he lingered on the rock watching her graceful stroke . And in that moment he felt the vacuous aloneness . She was in some sense drifting away
Away further than the shore ; equally further from the horizon. A sudden panic befell him
His soul ached in that moment knowing that she would be soon leaving for Spain .
And as he slipped back into the black tide and swam to the beach each stroke brought him further away from her somehow ; the nearer he came to her the sooner the reality of her leaving would be ; His doubts carried him on like the sweep of the wave and followed him ashore , his stroke just stronger than the swell or draw of wave.
Later that night would tell him she’d decided that tonight would be the night she would give herself to him. She’d known him since she was 14 and he 16. She had a crush on him then to the extent that she kept a photo of him under her pillow for ages; later when he left a cap behind him at a party at her friends house she took that too and slept with it every night
- And all that time you barely even knew I existed - she teased .
- Well , I danced with you didn’t I ?
- Oh Yea ! Big deal .. And you know what happened me then ? . I couldn’t eat..for days !!
She used to paint and had made several sketches of him from his picture …
-And all the girls had to make me come out , cos all I wanted to do was sit in my room and mope, and sulk and sketch.. And you scarcely knew I existed . !!
She had got over it in time . Then when he asked her out this time she was preparing for final exam..
- And guess what- she began to chuckle with that mirthful impishness he adored .
- Yea .. There I was .. Thinking about you all day .. I couldn’t study.. Kept drawing sketches of you.. And you know what I said.. I said Fuck him !! Fuck him !!- No one should have such control over another’s thoughts My mother noticed it from the start .. She’s perceptive like that ..’’ Its Mark - he’s back isn’t he ‘’ - Oh she was my support .always. She likes you ,you know..Thinks you’re a bit wild .. But you are a little ..
She’d been thinking about it for some time . She always wanted it to be special. And it was.
- It wont hurt so much next time
- Better not get used to too many next times mister , -she chided him.
They dressed in the chilled night air. Shem handed him something..her panties
- keep these- my first time ..and all that.. You could put them under your pillow .. While I’m in Spain - and again that little tuneful mirth.
So swiftly she’d recovered from the spell . , he thought and the suddenness of her leaving panicked him again
- I don’t want to get pregnant going to Spain !!
Spain . She was leaving in 2 weeks . Would she be easier with her virtue now that she’d shed lost her virginity.
- I’ll be a free woman now - she said reading his thoughts.
- I ‘ll be an easy lay !! - Isn’t that what you guys say.
- I suppose … Yea !! that’s what we say ok .. ‘Easy lay’- He fell to a brooding silence again .
- Aha !!- Freedom at last.. you’ve made a liberated woman of me tonight ..- she teased him
- What dizzy heights will she conquer now - she said .
As they began to walk back along the track she teased him again, but he was sullen.
- Hey !!.. Come on !!! Your getting all serious now !! . Who’d have thought .. I’m getting my own back for all my puppy days love !! - she said tossing his hair
Then she sobered in the moment again and looked deep into his eyes
I wont ’t.. I told you . It was very special. I will always remember tonight .! Allways. !!- Kiss me !!
He held her damp body . Crushed it close to him
- You’re wet
- Yes !! - all over - she smiled coyly- her eyes flashing in the distant lights of the caravan park..
- Wet and wonderful ! - she teased ;
- all over .. Again..! God ! Is that normal …?
He didn’t answer her . She waited .
- Do you have to go to Spain. ?
- Oh My God !!- he’s really jealous !! - she chirruped gaily winging from his arm .
- Yea ! I suppose I am ..
- Why .. ? Why are you suddenly so jealous ..
- You know .
- Say it ..
- I love you I suppose
A silent curtain fell between them as they crossed the dew swept greens of the golf course .
- You never said that before - she said in a little timid girls voice.
- I never knew it until tonight. - he started slowly
-Not with anyone .
They went back the way they’d come climbed the hill to her house , which looked down on the twinkling moonshine on the bay.
That forlornness swept him again. He tried to sweep away his hovering despair .She was leaving one way or another , and he seemed to feel his legs being dragged as if with the undertow of the black waves which were rushing at him relentlessly.