Darren (Blobert Coltrane Claus) Colgan
B.C. Claus was born in the wintery tundra of Siberia to a Mongolian father and an Orwellian mother. The female, the larger of the species, ate the father and left B.C. Claus homeless. It wasn't until 1921, in La-Chappelle-Aux-Chasses, France, that B.C. met Magnolia, queen of Narnia. These were the most joyous of times for B.C. Claus; he and Thor God of Valhalla (formally known as Magnolia) would frolic endlessly through endless fields of endless flowers endlessly. Then one grey October morning in 1676, Quetzaloxyotl, (formally known as Thor God of Valhalla, formally known as Magnolia) died of a previously unrecorded respiratory disease which will be to referred to as Raskolnikitis. After many years of busking in the streets of Kobenhavn and acting as assistant supervisory lifeguard in Baden-Baden, B.C. Claus decided to settle down in Sofia Coppola, Bulgaria, and write about things which amuse, annoy, fascinate and disturb him. He also enjoys films, short walks on the beach, poisoning his body with various stimulants and brass bands.