Jan 11, 2012
It's kind of very ultra super embarrassing when you're really ill at school, and your boyfriend offers you a shoulder to lean on. And you open your eyes and realise you fell asleep on him in the middle of lunch. Not so embarrassing when he gives you a kiss on the head when you wake up and tells you he's worried, and he'll come and sit in the nurse's office with you all lunch time. But still - a tad bit humiliating.

Jan 9, 2012
I feel so in love it's unreal. I just want to jump on the rooftops screaming my heart out with your name. Do me a favour and let me have your last name someday? Thanks.

Jan 8, 2012
9:29pm. I did well today. Better than I've done in a few weeks, anyway. I had half a slice of wholemeal bread for breakfast, the same for lunch, a few ribs and some veg for dinner. After the last meal of the day, I did 3 minutes of sit-ups, lunges, squats and running. Then I went on the treadmill for 15 minutes. Plenty of water too, and a mug of green tea - 0 calories, full of anti-oxidants, speeds up the metabolism, good for the skin and more hydrating than water. I'm determined to keep that up til summer. I want the thigh gap, and the prominent bones, and the confidence. I want that skinniness I've never had, and I will get it.

Jan 7, 2012
Consumed 881 calories today, and burned 130. Did well, ate healthily, working for that summer body. A month with my boyfriend and a year with booksie today - I call that an achievable one.

Jan 3, 2012
10:34pm. The wind's howling outside my bedroom window. It's back to school tomorrow, and just the idea of getting out of bed at 7am makes me feel ill. My therapist cancelled on me today; he was ill. Earlier on, I realised I forgot to take my pill yesterday, and I'm feeling the effects today. Currently, I'm patiently waiting for 2012 to bring something good into my life. Until then, I put up with everything with a smile on my face.

Jan 2, 2012
It's 7:27pm, and very cold and dark, in England. I'm curled up on my bed with my babygrow on, drinking hot tea and eating raw cookie dough, just because my pre-menstrual self is craving it. I found his jumper this evening, and I threw it out. I was crying while I did it, but it felt good. I've got rid of every trace of him now. He's gone. Out with the old and in with the new. Hello 2012.

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