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Despite the embarrassment of it all, there is a way I overcome my poor self-image with a little bit of voyerism.

Submitted:Sep 2, 2011    Reads: 78    Comments: 2    Likes: 2   

As a girl, I can tell you now how much my appearance means to me. I'm not even that pretty, and it bugs me so much. I think if it wasn't for all the media, it wouldn't bother me at all. Boys constantly judge girls where I'm from, and I do my best to avoid being one of their topics when it comes to the matter of being ugly. For instance, the other day I was eavesdropping (not going to lie), about how one of the skinniest, prettiest, sweetest girls in my year was "putting on weight". I hadn't even noticed! I really wanted to slap the crap out of those guys.

Upon hearing this, I got kind of paranoid about my appearance. I swear, so many girls in my year are wearing D-cups, while I'm way behind them with a B going on C. And how did I make myself feel better? I feel really embarrassed to say it, but I went on Google and looked up celebrity bra sizes. I'm not a lesbian (not there is ANYTHING wrong with it), but I couldn't help but wonder how weird people would think I am if they found out I searched such things.

But there is no point in denying it. So many girl, like me, LOVE it when we find out our boobs are bigger than Rihanna's and Lady Gaga's. I know it sounds a bit weird that how I gain confidence is through my voyerism, but with the information there how can I deny myself the satisfaction. And it doesn't stop there. Your year or friends may be a little different, but where I'm from, girls openly talk about their breasts, and even though when we talk about it in a non-excited way, as soon as I find out I have a bigger bust than someone or I'm the same size, there are fireworks in my mind.

I guess I could blame this on the media, and there massive focus on sex appeal. Seriously! When was the last time you saw a woman incredibly famous on the front of magazines who was less than a size fourteen? I know people say that I should feel comfortable with the body I have, and I do, but is there really anything wrong with being comfortable because I'm better than someone?


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