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A little article on Chain Mail and Adam Lambert

Submitted:Apr 16, 2010    Reads: 75    Comments: 0    Likes: 2   

So let's start with a small little pet peeve and then work on to the big stuff, yeah?

Chain Mail. I mean, everyone gets those quirky, sometimes funny little e-mails. Great, some are heart warming, some are hilarious. It's a nice little read to cheer your day up, right? Now, looking back at my life, I realize that if I had wasted away all my time forwarding each and every e-mail that I've gotten once, twice, sometimes eight times, that maybe my luck in life might be a little better! I mean, no one really every believes that BS at the bottom about having seven years of bad luck, or never finding your true love, right? So here I am, looking at yet another one today, and I'm like. GO QUICK. IF I DON'T SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM, I WON'T SEE IT! Then I can't have bad luck right? Because I can claim ignorance! Why not? That's what half the world does anyways. 'Oh, I didn't know it was wrong to touch little boys. Oops, my bad!' America is a fan of blissful ignorance.

Speaking of fans, I love fans, especially on those really hot days? Man, they give off such a nice breeze. I must say, there are some really crazy fans out there, and I don't mean people taping paper to themselves and trying to blow some hot air around. Personally, I think it'd be hilarious to see a human fan. Anyways. Let's take a little look at the definition of fan:

an enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc.

1885-90, Americanism; short for fanatic

supporter, enthusiast, partisan, booster, addict.

Okay, so a fan is fanatic. Now, from what I understood, that meant that they had posters and tried to follow the main goings on of a particular thing they liked. There's nothing wrong with looking up pictures on the internet, or listening to interviews. See, but I didn't know that to be a FAN, I had to STALK someone. Obviously if my "IDOL" has somehow dropped out of being the most popular person in the world, there is a conspiracy. Let's take a prime example here: Adam Lambert.

I love Adam Lambert, no lie, he's a great singer, love his music, I'm a fan right? Apparently, I'm not, see, in order to be a GLAMBERT, I have to go to every concert and throw panties and sex toys on the stage. Now, I'm thinking.. what does he need with WOMEN'S PANTIES? Throw some Boxers up there, or hell, some tighty whiteys! Something the man can actually USE. Eyeliner. Yeah, throw some eyeliner up there guys. Be a little creative.

Speaking of Adam, did you know.. HE'S A SINGER? I know, shocking right? You'd think from all the buzz that he was just some famous gay guy! Here we go "OPENLY GAY SINGER ADAM LAMBERT'. Sorry, but shouldn't his career, you know that thing he's getting paid for, come before his orientation? He's Gay, who cares?! Apparently his rabid fans do, and everyone else in America. Of course, there is also the other thing that seems to be the topic on everyone's mind. Is he a top or bottom? I mean.. really?

Imagine this.. Someone comes into your personal life and just asks you randomly.. so do you like it in the vagina or the butt more? Which nipple is more sensitive? I mean, I know that most celebrities are an open book, but come on. This isn't Carmen Electra here, not everyone wants everybody to know how big of a penis they can get shoved in them, you know?

And what is with this conspiracy outlook? OH GOD! ADAM DROPPED ON THE CHARTS. IT'S BECAUSE HE'S GAY!.. Really? Songs drop down on the charts all the time, new songs come out, whatever, it happens. Not everything is against his sexuality. You want his sales to go up? Go buy his record! Welcome to business.

Speaking of business. Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol. Amazing isn't it? He's going to apparently start up X Factor. I wonder which show will do better? I mean, after this season of snore fest contestants, it can't really get much worse, right? I mean, not that someone of them don't have good voices, but.. Where's the THRILL? I just.. don't look forward to it, it's sad. I think we should I.V. some caffeine into their blood stream or something.

Questions? Comments? Disagree? Sucks to be you, leave a message.


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