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WWE TLC 2013 Rant

Article By: sosnh
Editorial and opinion

This is a rant about WWE TLC 2013. This rant isn't entirely all bad things, but some are, and if you don' want to hear it, don't bother reading further. Warning that it does contain quiet a bit of swearing.

Submitted:Dec 18, 2013    Reads: 16    Comments: 0    Likes: 1   

Hello everyone!

So the other day I watched WWE TLC. What did I think about it? How about I tell you!?! Let's start of with the name.


What does it stand for?

Tender Loving Care?

Not in the wrestling business it doesn't!

Tables, Ladders & Chairs!

That's right.

This year marked the 5th anniversary of the TLC PPV in WWE. Now each year, they traditionally have a Tables match, Ladder match, Chairs match & Tables, Ladders & Chairs match. This year however, the only match that had any of these qualities was the shitty main event! The main event was a TLC match-up, of course.

The first thing I want to talk about is the freaking Pre-Show. Dolph Ziggler deserves to be on the main card! Why the fuck is he on the freaking Pre-Show with fucking Fandango! Fan-Fucking-Dan-Go! I hate that fucking character! I hate Fandango, Fandangoing and everything he stands for. Summer Rae, well I think she should be a Diva, not a cheerleader. And what the fuck is with that Leg Drop? Every match he is in, I get distracted because it is so boring. That being said, Johnny Curtis, which was Fandango's previous gimmick was someone who I could have grew to liked. I hated that result, coming from a man that started off the year in triumph, and then ends it with loss after loss.

Then it came time for the actual PPV. The first match was The Shield VS CM Punk. I can't complain much about this match, because I was into it the whole night. We will move on past that, because that match was great.

The next match started, and don't get me wrong, I admire both Divas, but why the fuck does AJ Lee have to keep that freaking title for so long. I mean, is she supposed to be going for the record or something? Natalya deserved that title. Plus, what the fuck is with Tamina. Fucking oath. She is the daughter of bloody Jimmy Snuka. She could fuck shit up, but look at her act like a small security guard for AJ Lee. Before the match, AJ was talking trash about EVERY diva in the locker room. That included Tamina, but I don't know if she realised that. But seriously, I like AJ & Natalya, but I have to say, she should be dropping that title.

The next match was Big E Langston VS Damien Sandow. I actually didn't mind the competiveness of this match. However, I think Damien did reverse too many of Big E's Big Landings.

The next match was a Fatal 4 Way-Tag Team Elimination match for the WWE Tag Team Championships. Boy! That match was amazing. So many great spots, and I have been asking for this type of match for quiet some time.

Following that is my least favourite match of the night. R-Truth VS Brodus Clay. I like both of these guys. Two fantastic athletes in my opinion, as is Tensai. However, I absolutely cannot stand Xavier Woods. I hate the character. I hate the afro. I hate the gimmick. I want to punch the cunt in the fucking face. That is so fucking stupid, and when he acts like a jerk after the match, it makes it worse. Brodus turning heel on his group, great. I am glad it finally happened because he was destined to be a great werestler, not a tag team wrestler. I just wish Xavier would fuck off!

In one of my favourite matches of the night, The Miz took on Kofi Kingston in a No Disqualification based on the events in the pre-show, and the weeks leading up to the PPV. These athletes are fantastic at what they do, and left it all in the ring, or outside the ring depending on how you look at it (NO DQ Humour).

The following match was The Wyatt Family VS Daniel Bryan. I loved this match towards the end, but not the start. Having a superstar like Daniel Bryan who was just recently WWE Champion is unbelivable. Why the fuck would he be taking that much damage from superstars who have only been in the WWE a month or two, and he worked over 10 years just to make it to NXT!?! It is stupid, but the end result was great, with the Wyatt Family winning, which is what I'd presume. I am just going to put it out there, and I am sure most people will agree with me in saying if the WWE turns Daniel Bryan heel right now, there are going to be so many boos and a large percentile loss in viewership.

In one of the worst matches of the night, it comes time for the main event. "50 years in the making" it was called. What, you spent 50 years creating this fucking crap match? The match started off with a fast pace from both Cena and Orton, and I was glued. But then it slowed down very fast, and had one man climbing the ladder, to be knocked down, for the other man to start getting up. The fact that Randy actually locked Cena to the ropes just made me want to smash my television. What the fuck? In the supposed most critical match of the history of the WWE, why the fuck would management see fit that Randy should be using those tactics to win? And then he does. And the way he wins is fucking stupid. He wrestles with Cena who had managed to unattach the turnbuckle and was reaching for the gold with one hand. He knocks Cena into a table that was leaning up against a turnbuckle, and Cena didn't even break the table. It was fucking stupid!

If I rated this PPV, it would get about 5 out of 10, and I usually rate PPVs high, but I am not high on some of these results, and fucking no Ladder, Chairs or Table match was even in there, so yeah. FUCK THAT!

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