Will It Ever Change?
Often we find ourselves asking silently, “When are things going to change?” The truth is that things are changing all the time. Either you change with them or drift through life aimlessly and miserable. We do not have to look very far to find someone who is infected with Chronic Complainer’s Disease (CCD), maybe some of us could find such a person in the mirror. The good news is that there is a cure for this dreadful disease that is perhaps the worst known to man, as it leads to so many other complications in the body and the mind. I am guessing that roughly half of the population is severely infected with CCD, while maybe as much as 95% have the disease to some degree, self included. This is a very contagious disease as is evident with it being so widespread. You may be asking yourself “Can I get a CCD vaccination?” If this is available, I am not yet aware but there are a few things that you can do to prevent, reduce the symptoms or even cure Chronic Complainer’s Disease. Let us take a look at some of these things.
Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” This means that you stop trying so hard to fix everyone else and look to change yourself. Once that change starts to take shape, you will notice that everyone around you, including strangers, seems to treat you better, they smile at you more often and willingly do things for you even without you asking. The unhappiness you may feel from time to time or even all the time is not due to someone else, some other group or any circumstance. (I believe there is an exception in the case of children and perhaps other extreme circumstances.) If you allow yourself to believe someone or something else is the reason for any failure, you have given up self control. Take control of your life and take responsibility for everything in your life. Once you assume responsibility for the good and the bad, you will work harder to insure the good significantly outweighs the bad. Assuming you are of a sound mind having read this far, and yes I know what they say about assumptions, you should decide right now who is responsible for you.
“It is so hard to stay positive around all of this negativity.” or “I can’t stay positive around all of this negativity.” These are statements that I often hear when I begin to turn a negative conversation into a positive exchange. The first statement gives me more hope, as “hard” at least implies an attempt to be positive and tells me they simply do not have or are not using enough of the necessary tools to become more positive. The goal isn’t necessarily 100% positivity, going around being unrealistically happy and having everyone think you just snorted a line but to simply be happier as time progresses until one tips the balance scale in favor of positive emotions. Those who say they “can’t” be happy need to take off their can’ts immediately and start looking for cans. Maybe there are some things you can’t do, that doesn’t matter, use your energy focusing on what you can do. For those who are still convinced that you can’t, even if you are think there is a slight chance YOU CAN, please read on. For those of you who find it “hard” you have been trying and I hope this convinces you to spend more time “doing” and less time “trying”.
Those negative people surrounding you, what makes them negative? Ask yourself this before about each person in your life that regularly makes you feel some negative emotion. Really look for an answer. The answer may not come right away but you will try to understand the person and therefore get a better understanding of yourself and how the situation affects you. How do you react when that person makes you feel negative? Could you react in a way that could defuse the situation or turn it into something positive? Would you consider saying encouraging things to these other people regardless of how they treat you? Once you start to give compliments and encouragement, instead of acting defeated when someone tries to degrade you, you will begin to build self-esteem. Once your self esteem is stronger, you are not reacting negatively toward the other people and you are encouraging them a more peaceful feeling will begin to envelope your life. You will begin to discover that what other people say is not what defines you; it is what you think about what they say.
Do you have a mentor? We all need someone to encourage, teach and even rebuke us from time to time. If you do not have a mentor, chances are the mentor isn’t looking for you and you will have to seek him or her. You do not have to have the same mentor all of your life, as your needs will change, but we all do need a mentor all of our lives. Nursing homes and retirement homes are full of unused mentors. This is a far too often untapped resource. Volunteer or organize some entertainment event for such a home and get to know the residents. Chances are soon that you will find someone who inspires you and you want to extract as much knowledge from them as possible. There are obviously other ways to find mentors but the above mentioned is an easy and free way to get quality advice from someone well experienced in the art of living.
How often do you read? What are you reading? Reading and audio books, given the right content, are perhaps one of the greatest blessings upon our generation. Of course the right content is your judgment. Decide what you want and learn all you can about the subject. For instance, if you desire to travel to Spain, learn all that you can about Spain. Learn the traditions the cultures, the food, the landscape, industries and even minute details. Imagine how these things would look, smell, taste, feel and imagine the sounds. Be in Spain as you read. Try to find books written by people who have accomplished what you desire in life. Listen to motivational speakers. Decide who motivates you. Listen daily, perhaps as you exercise. Stay away from any image or thought of anything that you do not want, at least limit these things. This may mean making a few changes but that is what this article is about.
We have discussed a few things here and hopefully I have given you and me some things to think about. This information like any other is useful only if you “try it on”. A new shirt will only look good on you if you put it on. Changes typically do not occur overnight unless there is some major event. Some people will go through life resisting change and therefore be consumed by change. Some people are raised by their parents or for some other reason seem to be born to adapt and overcome. For the rest of us, I can only hope that you are one of the few who will decide now to make a change in yourself. Grab a book and grab a mentor, gently though if the mentor is elderly, and get started changing into what you want to be. The time is now.