Life in My Shoes.
When you hear the word mother, you probably think of a sweet, caring and loving parent figure. This time it is the opposite. Some people have great childhoods, while others have it horrible. But, no one likes to hear the complaints because everyone thinks they have a bad life. Why? Because we all have wants and needs and life always tend to throw unexpected things our way. In my life, I have had things thrown at every angle possible with no breathing room. No, I am not complaining or seeking sympathy. I simply want you to see, looking through my eyes, a different light of another life.
You hear about devastating stories about horrible parenting and ask yourself; didn't somebody along those lines of those events have a heart to step up? For me, the experience was an early eye opener to real life reality. It showed me that I was on my own in life. It has made me become a strong, smart, and independent young lady. As I was a younger I was pretty quiet. I kept to myself even at home because I felt so out of place among my relatives for very many reasons. I don't remember having a relationship with my mom. We never talked or anything, though I had a close relationship with my dad until I turned thirteen or so. That was the year I changed in many different ways and for many reasons. My reasons would break the heart of many.
See, my mom played favoritism even though she didn't let it show. I knew. I seen a lot even though she did not notice. My two older siblings always got themselves into trouble and my mom always had their backs as any parent who loved their children would under any circumstances, right? By the time my older siblings were old enough to make their own decisions my mom decided why try to be a mom when your children won't listen anyways? That outlook of hers angered me because she was so busy rolling in her self pity that she did not care to notice her only sons sick sex addiction that he was taking out on one of her daughters. The years dealing with it sickened me deeply. My brother ended up as a sex addict and my sister popped out kid after kid. And that led my mom to not care anymore. She didn't pay much attention to me. Nor did she, my little sister though she was my moms baby. I was the black sheep in the crowd of white sheep. Though I always had a good relationship with my dad, it quickly ended when he could not, or would not, do anything against my mom about the things she would do. That relationship ended when I turned thirteen and decided I was alone in this world had to go my own way. After my brother, my moms only son, was sent to prison for his sick addiction my mom became angry with me and thats when our relationship turned abusive. Before, we just didn't speak. I never thought she knew I even existed. I rebelled; went my own way. The next year I ended up being adopted by a couple I knew from the church I grew up in.
But, it didn't end there. My new come foster parents, whom always knew me, wondered why they never knew what I went through my whole life. Why they never seen the signs. I was the one my mom used as her personal slave. I did the shopping, cooking and everything in between. And if I got something wrong, my punishment would be more cruel than a week of grounding. I didn't have a normal childhood so as a teenager I didn't do normal teenage things. I moved away from home and went to school. I worked multiple jobs and held my own place. And, here I am today.
My point; who would have ever thought my mother whom I never spoke to would ever turn out such a horrible soul? Her excuse today; she had an abusive childhood and has no memory of my own. To this day, I do not speak to my parents because when I try, all fails. So, I go my own way because I have no other choice. I do not seek sympathy, only that you see in another light of someones life. Everyone has their own problems and obstacles in life and they seem more extreme as another. I realized I was alone in this world and it was up to me to find my happiness. To this day, I am a very independent young lady doing my own thing in this world with a view on life unlike any others.
Life in My Shoes.