Throughout my years at primary school and now at college I have experienced many situations involving forms of bullying. I also have been a target of bullying both by a teacher and a student at primary school. This has attracted my attention giving me the opportunity to research and discuss in writing about my chosen topic “Bullying”.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is an act of repeated abusive behaviour by a certain individual or group which is used to intimidate and humiliate the weak because of their differences. It involves unwelcomed, negative actions in order to intentionally hurt and gain power over another person, physically and/or mentally.
Anyone could be a bully. Boys, girls, family members, someone in your class even teachers can be bullies as I have come across. When it comes to bullying boys tend to be more physical whereas girls name call and give the “silent treatment”
Bullies use intimidation to attract friends who are easily influenced and agree with the bully so they don’t become the target. This is true as the only real bully is the leader of the bully group and all the other members are too scared to think otherwise. Bullies are full of displeasure, hatred and anger. They have not learned the lesson of consequences which are good behaviour equals reward and bad behaviour equals punishment. A quote off “No Bully” website said “since childhood, bullies have learnt to avoid the unpleasant consequences of bad behaviour through response of denial, blame and/or framing others”. Children won’t have friends because of this.
Why Bullies Bully?
Bullies bully because they don’t want to know of any other behaviour.
They are insecure about themselves so have a weakness of their own therefore dumping it onto others. The action taken by a bully is used to get attention and make them self look tough. Bullies want the power of dominance and have satisfaction in causing injury and suffering to others. They have low self confidence, are not popular and jealous of the fact that they are not as well off as others may be. I think bullies need to admit the fact that they need help and support.
What are the Types of Bullying?
Bullying can take on many forms such as verbal abuse including offensive comments and nasty names which can be taken to heart. It is the most common type of bullying. Social exclusion or being completely ignored which can cause depression and loneliness to the victim. Physical bullying such as spreading around false rumours. Stealing and damaging of others property and threatened or forced to do things.
Also cyber bullying through a cell phone or the internet. I find all of these types rather repulsive. And I have been affected by both social exclusion, verbal abuse and my property being taken from me. I can understand where victims are coming from and it does damage yourself confidence. Managing to get through all the drama is hard but I overcame it eventually.
What are the effects of Bullying?
Bullying behaviour can have negative effects on both the bully and the victim.
On the “mychildsafety” website it said bullying can affect people long into the future, circumstances such as fear, anxiety, unfocused, low self esteem, emotional and physical illness, health problems like becoming anorexic because someone calls you fat. Lastly suicidal thoughts (bullycide) which can cause a major effect as one can chose to die instantly because of a stupid thoughtless bully. This disappoints me because why do people have to end their lives as a result of a particular bully who can’t take on their own problems. A New Zealand study on student bullying showed that within a year at least 50% to 75% of children are bullied and 10% are bullied weekly. 33% admitted bullying others. The way they were affected was major. Of the boy’s 75% were physically bullied, 85% verbally bullied and female victims; 62% physically and 93% verbally bullied. This research makes me think hopefully the bullying will decrease in years to come as otherwise we may as well have a war. An adult learns to cope with effects of bullying and ignores it, but a child is easy to wound and often has few skills to cope. It is commonly said that bullying is “simply part of growing up” Well I stray away from that as childhood should be remembered for all the good memories and how enjoyable and free it felt back then. But according to the quote that is not the case and getting rough helps for the future. Research reveals that children consider the death of someone close as the only experience worse than bullying; you get an idea of what impact it has. An experience from the website “hintsandthings” which I think is very smart and brave. “I have a friend in my class who had been bullied from year 4. In year 8 it stopped. She did a speech on bullying. I was proud of her confronting him” As a friend you need to stand by your friend’s side in times of trouble.
What are the Attitudes of Bullying?
On the “aare.edu.au” website it commented that bullying has increasingly been recognised as problem of national and international concern and the increased media attention on school violence.
Bullied students reasons for being a target are ethnicity, physical differences and high achievement. Bystanders are often reluctant to report incidences of bullying because they are afraid of being labelled or called a nark which could make the situation even worse. They also think teachers won’t be able to stop and prevent bullying. Research suggests adults are only aware 10% of bullying incidence and only 25% believe that bullying is a problem in schools. This makes me think do parents care about children, as they were once one themselves. According to Cliff Isaacson, author and therapist, the most likely birth order to be bullied or become a bully is the fourth born. I would consider that parents start asking their daughters and sons about their days at school. Try to understand their side of the story and support them. I guess adults could be blamed for bullying as they could have been a bully and the child has grown up with that example. Educators and parents should tell children about bullying and show them examples of what the consequences can be. They should be presented at primary school so they know from a young age. I think bullying is unnecessary behaviour and lives don’t need to be wasted on it. Bullies need to know that bullying others does not help answer their own problems but actually the complete opposite. The bully should ask themselves “How would I like it if someone bullied me?”
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