Women's Lib: Revised Edition
By: Chris Lenertz
Most men still feel it necessary to be gentlemanly, opening
your doors, pulling out your chairs, helping you in the car,
standing at a restaurant when you stand, letting you order first.
But being a chivalrous man goes much further than that. What do
we shout when large ship filled to the brim with people is about
to sink? "Women and children first!" While all the men are left
standing on a sinking boat saying "excuse me?" "I don't agree."
Not only that, we all know as men, that if we are out with a date
and she gets attacked, we must fight off her attacker while she
makes a quick escape. It doesn't matter how small we are or how
poor our fighting skills are, we must fight. Even if the
attackers have a Sherman tank rolling at us, we must fight it off
with our bare hands. Now I understand all these things to a
point, good manners to women is just a way to show you respect
them. Women get the first lifeboats because they can have more
babies then men can, and procreate the species(more on this
later). We must fight off attackers because no matter how much
we stink at fighting, we are still stronger than women, and
therefore probably slightly more effective at it then they are.
Here is my question though. After I'm done opening your doors,
dying for you and getting beat up for you, can I have a free
drink please? I'm completely parched... Oh no? Oh you get the
free drinks? Oh I have to buy you a drink? Okay! seems totally
Often men will say things about women being better than men.
Makes them seem like a nice guys that understand the struggle of
women. Even Obama can be heard saying things like "Shes the
smart one!" about Michelle. Okay... really? Your the highest
ranking man in the United States of America, but she's the smart
one? So step down and make her president, let's see what she can
do. But what is this struggle of women? I don't see it. There
might be struggle of a few women, women who were raped, molested
or abused. Women who are single mothers. Women who cannot give
birth. This is not a "Women's struggle". Men have problems too
you know. Don't you think all the guys who have lost three of
their limbs while trying to deactiave a bomb in Afganistan, and
are so mentally scarred that they can't sleep might be struggling
a little bit? Still though, that's the struggle of a few men, we
don't call it "The struggle of man". Women are not struggling,
nothing in their life is any harder than a man's, and for the
majority of the time, it is much easier. The reason they
convince both themselves and us that their lives are more
difficult, comes down to complaining. A woman will complain for
nine hours if she loses a shoe. So if she gets raped she will
complain for years, she will go on TV shows and complain. She
will cry, talk about all the ways the rape has affected her life,
say she can't even be within ten feet of a man anymore with out
crying. We all identify with her, we agree rape is horrible and
give money to rape relief funds. So what about the guy who lost
three of his limbs? Sure he will say what's bothering him, but
men just don't have the ability to complain that women do. He
doesn't look hurt, he doesn't look mentally scarred, he doesn't
even look like he's in pain. He just looks like a normal guy
with no limbs. Meanwhile the girl that got raped looks like a
train wreck. So the rape victims get help and the guys missing
limbs don't. This is mostly a bi-product of childhood I think.
If a little boy crys, what does the father say? "Don't cry, be a
man." If a little girl crys, what does her mother say? "What's
wrong? tell me what's wrong! tell me everything!" So now we
don't complain and you do. Not your fault just how it is.
If you don't beleive me, look up some stats. In 2012,
238,590 men were diagnosed with prostate cancer, in the same year
232,340 women were diagnosed with breast cancer. There were also
more deaths from prostate cancer than from breast cancer. Now
lets take a look at the companies that support each illness.
Breast cancer is supported by JC Penny, Estee Lauder, Avon,
Kitchen Aid, WWE, KFC, Smith and Wesson, Acure, Healing Cooler,
Suki Skincare, Method, The North Face, EOS, Delta Airilnes, Loft,
Panera Bread, ONEHOPE, Athena, Chevrolet, Lee, NFL, Dressbarn,
Longaberger, Maurices, The Pamered Chef, Cancade, H&M, The
Lady Footlocker, Tanger Outlets, AC Moore, Wild Delight, Lowes,
Barclays, Chicago, Havertys, Paul Mitchell, 3M, and Ace Hardware
to name a few. That's okay, those make sense I guess. Wait a
minute. WWE and NFL? Are these not companies whos workforce is
made up largely of men? Who are watched mainly by men? Who are
even operated mostly by men? Yet they support breast cancer but
have never once supported prostate cancer. We can't even add
these very manly companies to the insanely small list of prostate
cancer supporters. I'm pretty sure Ace Hardware, Smith and
Wesson, Lowes, and Bridgestone should be ours too, but they have
also never once supported prostate cancer. Could you imagine the
outrage of women everywhere if something feminine such as The
Lifetime Channel supported prostate cancer instead of breast
cancer? Women would be on Oprah talking about surviving breast
cancer, condemning Lifetime. There would be a boycott. Lifetime
would issue a public apology. It would be crazy. No one seems
to care though when the same thing happens to us. You might say
it doesn't matter who they support, it's just good that they are
supporting. Which I understand. Supporting anything is better
than supporting nothing. But when these masculine companies,
decided to support "something" they decided on breast cancer,
that's where I get confused. Everyone knows breast cancer is
represented by light pink. WWE made the ring ropes pink for a
month. NFL players wear pink ribbons. Smith and Wesson even
made a little pink gun. Does anyone know what color represents
prostate cancer? I sure don't, I had to look it up, it's blue.
That's how bad it is.
Let's talk about funding for other assistance programs.
Let's take a look at the women's and men's shelters currently in
the USA. For women there are currently 2075 shelters, varying in
specalties such as battered women, pregant women, and drug
addicted women. For men there are 983 shelters currently in the
USA, without much varience, some help addicts, some will help
find a job, that's about it. So why the large gap? Well maybe
there's more women than men in the USA, that would make sense,
there are more currently on Earth. Yes it's true, According to
census.gov, the ACS estimates the total male population of the US
is currently 147,129,583 which is 49.2% of the total population.
So how does a .8% dominance in females amount to more than a 50%
reduction in male shelters? I guess men are just 50% less
important than women. In fact when I was researching how many
are of each shelters there are one my sources, as listed below
was www.womenshelters.org. Though when I typed in
www.menshelters.org Google said "Opps! That website doesn't
exist! Did you mean http://www.womenshelters.org/"? Not because
I typed it wrong, but because it truely doesn't exist. Nor does
any website devoted exclusively to male shelters, I had to find
them on sites that listed both male and female shelters.
As I said before a lot of these things are attributed to
procreate the species. A women's life is more valuable to
society because one man can impregnate 1,000 women, but one woman
can only get pregnant a finite amount of times in her life. This
might have made sense back in the Cretaceous period when there
were only 14 humans alive, but It has no meaning in todays world.
The species will not be affected from a few thousand more women
dying every year. In fact, many would argue that the world right
now needs less people not more. So shouldn't we be trying to
save the men instead of the women? Doesn't make sense to me.
Women won't admit any of this. Ask any women who life is
harder for men or women, and they say women without hesitation.
They will say men make more money than women. Which is still
true. The average wage for men in 2010 was $42,800, while the
average wage for women was $34,700. That's an hourly difference
of $4.22 an hour. Why is this seen as a bad thing? Men just
work harder then women. What's a man's workday? 12 hours in the
coal mines right? A woman's workday? Oh just a few hours a day
at J C Penny, need time for the kids you know. Work more hours
and you will get more money that's how it works. Nothing unfair
about it. Men are also just better at making money. Take a look
at the Forbes 500, very few women on that list. That's your own
fault women. Maybe take some business classes in college instead
of "Introduction To Roman Art History" and you might make more
money after you graduate. Another thing women say is unfair is
language, they will say "Why do we say mankind instead of
peoplekind?" Which is fine, but they do they same thing. They
have their little sayings such as "Every woman is beautiful."
They didn't include us in their little fantasy, only certain men
are beautiful, but all women get to be, that's cool.
So women, I don't mind opening the door for you. I don't
mind dying of drowning, prostate cancer and tank cannon for you.
I don't mind saying your better at everything then we are. I
don't mind staying silent while you complain. I don't mind that I
can't get help when I need it and you can. I don't even mind
that all of you are beautiful and we are not. I just want you to
buy me a drink every once in a while, I'm still quite parched.
Or at least admit that you have it much easier than we do, and
you always will.