THE OLD DAYS
I often look back at the past and contemplate the changes in things through time and ponder the differences. I vividly recall when I was a kid, all my playmates and I had G.I. Joe dolls. To try not to sound girlish they were referred to as action figures. If you were one of the lucky kids, yours came with the kung fu grips. The only one available video game was Pong. I remember sitting there for hours watching the little square ball bouncing between two white sticks. It was very entertaining at the time. At least back then there was no such thing as A.D.D. It was just a simple case of someone giving little Johnny too many sweets and he'd have a sugar rush. Back then kids were content playing outside with a new Sponge ball, not with a computer.
Remember bath night? Squirting water into your sibling's face with the hose from the rubber contraption hanging from the showerhead. Your Mother would walk in and scream while you wondered why your kid brother's breath now smelled like a dead goldfish left in vinegar. It's all so different today, where children now demand their privacy.
Remember when Kotex was as big as a twin size mattress? So were the bloomers they were attached to. As for bloomers, no one wears them anymore; but when did it become ok to be two hundred and fifty pounds overweight and have your thong clearly showing, with two ass cheeks holding the material in a kung fu grip. Speaking of bigger, let's not forget the hairdos either. We have all seen pictures of Mom's beehive, and - some of you reading this won't admit to it - actually worn one. When did bad weaves become ok? Or were we not supposed to notice you left the house with a bob and came home looking like Rapunzel after she got caught in an electrical storm? Remember old cars? They were built like tanks with shiny chrome and classic lines. I also vividly remember there was no A.C. in a lot of them. On a hot day, you could lose the top three layers of skin from your back or legs if you had shorts on getting out of one. So next time someone tells you how great the old days were, remember bath night before you answer them.