Voices in My Mind

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I hear them when I talk to my American boss on my next project,

I hear them when my friends talk to me on the phone; on their plans for heading abroad,

I hear them when my parents discuss diligently,

The career profile of their would-be son-in-law.

I hear them everyday, every time, every moment,

Every time, I think of stepping out.

They tell me to stop planning, stop packing my bags, and reconsider my decision.

I argue with them, shout at them, brush them aside.

I pretend to be deaf, I ignore them, yet I cannot forget them.

The voices keep hearkening in my mind,

Pleading, mostly and commanding, in their tones at times,

Asking me to think twice.

I shoo them away, but they refuse to disappear.

I pull the curtains to shut them out, but they are still articulate, loud and clear.

I hear them plead louder and even howl, at times, when my friends advice me to apply for a citizenship, soon.

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I hear them, again, this time, angrier, when

My relatives or neighbors feel proud to have established a New York connection.

I stop for a moment, forget for a nanosecond,

My hard earned degrees, my scores, my highly paid job

And my “high profile” marriage.

I try to be nonchalant, listening to none of their pleas, but I cannot stop thinking,

That my country needs my talent, caliber, and above everything, me;

More than the alien nation to which I’m heading.