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Submitted: Aug 10, 2008    Reads: 48    Comments: 5    Likes: 4   


Little bird

Fly Away

Little bird

There's no reason to stay

Little bird

This world is not for you

Little bird

Why stay in a place so blue?

The world is a sad place

With anger and hate in every race

Little bird

stay in your tree

where there's happiness and serenity


4

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Comments:

hi! v. u r right to protect the bird from the harsh view of a cruel world. but isn't that what makes life worthwhile - to chaff the good from the bad and make one's own choices. isn't risk and adventure more daring than a serene quiet existence. the rhyming is excellent. good work. lol. ;-)

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

thank u. i guess that is what makes life worthwhile.

Thoughtful poem - ever noticed though how the birds are happy regardless of the world's plight? Simplicity is the key. I like the repetition here, you have avoided getting too prolonged or flowery and that gets your message across better. well done.

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

i guess they don't really care what goes on in the world but still, many birds die every day at the hands of humans. Thanks for the comment!

Vampire Angel
(not registered user)

This was a good poem. It was thoughtful in a way and it got out a clear message. I also agree with bubbly that sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. You can't pretend that this world is all good but very cruel. Great job i liked this poem.:)

Posted: Aug 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you. you're right. Without the bad you can't really appreciate the good. =)

vampireHunter329:

Well written and expressed. Interesting for it's structure and presentation. Gave it an "I Like It" vote. Good job.

Will read your other postings and append an "I Like It" vote. Without commenting, at times.

Thank you for becoming a fan.

Happy trails,

Ed Bradley.

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank u very much. :):):):):):):)

Aww. That was good. Shame we can't really keep all the little birds safe.

Posted: Sep 14, 2008

Author Comment:

yeah.. oh well..



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