Everything feels as if it is caving in and the love stories on T.V. are not helping. When it comes time to decide between which college to choose, one with a sport and the other with a girl. Most would say "follow your dreams", "do what is best for you", "don't follow a girl to a school", or some comment about what do you want. As an 18 year old boy I really don't know. I barley know what to wear in the morning, let alone a school I'll be spending four years at and amassing tons of debt. It is hard to walk away from a sport you have loved your entire life. But, I have come to the conclusion it is even harder to walk away from someone with memories so happy and made you feel great. It gets more difficult when you have looked into that person's eye as they are crying and know that you are their best friend.
Many things go into not walking away from a person compared to a sport but, I think the number one reason why it is so hard is because a sport ends and you know it will. But, a person can go beyond what your body can take from any amount of lifting or running. Two hearts connecting on a different level will last longer than many galaxies combined. When this happens or when you think it happens it is very difficult to just do what is best for yourself. Because being selfish has no room for endless love. Connection is the world today and many connect to much or too little. It is getting easier to just find someone and it is getting harder to actually FIND someone. There is a difference and not many no it anymore because those lines are crossed and tangled. They are blurred with lust, greed, and naive-ness.
One 18 year old out here has a really tough decision where everything is uncertain. Nothing seems right and change is needed but hard to handle. I don't know what choice to make and advice is a guide not a choice in my mind. I know for sure I have a lot more difficult decisions to make after this one. But, this one is the hardest so far. A girl that may have connected galaxies with me or a sport I have spent my entire life thus far envying.
I wish I could just see the future and know what is in store. But, I can't and people around me are just voices. I have to make the choice not anyone else. It is hard when I can't think past next Tuesday. But, this is a nice introduction to the next chapter in this crazy book of life. Anything is a taken and nothing is a given. I have to do it myself because this is my life. I shouldn't look to anyone else. I have to look inside myself and find what I truly desire.