Submitted: Aug 1, 2008
Reads: 475
Comments: 6
Likes: 2
She copulated first
With Jude in the school gym
In 1962
Amidst the mats and ropes
As the midday sun shone
Through the windows and bars
Leaving those lined patterns
Across the well worn floor.
Above them the gym clock
Measured out their movements
With its steady tick tock
As outside in the grounds
The other students played
Skip rope, tag or ball games
Calling each other names
As the lunchtime grew stale.
She climaxed after him
Gazing up at the white
Cobweb ridden ceiling,
Enjoying the feeling
As it coursed her body
To the last, fine fibres
Of her frizzy brown hair.
They lay there side by side
Amidst the ropes and mats
Thinking of that moment
When their explosions came
And their childhood vanished
Into the dark tunnels
Of the sexual game.
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Comments:
wow . what a poem . really enjoyed this .
Posted: Aug 1, 2008
Great poem and I like the way you wrote on the subject of sex, you write with class.
Posted: Aug 5, 2008
Kinda brazen and exciting. They could've been caught out. This is very nice, i like the pacing of this.
Posted: Aug 8, 2008
Jock
(not registered user)
Interesting setting-what with School-education os self and slow and juxstapositioning of the Orgasms and the imagery of the sounds of the clock-etc. I agree and concur with the others comments. Why use the name Jude(symbolic?) Keep up the work-no pun intended but I won't aregue with Freud.
Posted: Aug 9, 2008
First sexual encounters or the culmination thereof are timeless in their ineffable endurance .
Here we have 2 copulations in a sporting arena .
What a celebration of the vibrancy of youth and such a poignant salute to the inevitable delinquency of our first primal fumbling.
My own experience was a sort of tragic comic wrestling match .
It lacked any drama other than the physicality and the uncertainty of what goes where and who puts the what where.
To use a darts expression I would have been quite a degree short of ''180 ''
My love shrugged me off and hurried to the bathroom.
when she came back , listening to Bridge over Troubled Water she asked timidly
'is that it ? '
Posted: Aug 10, 2008
I like the contrast of very matter-of-fact getting on with the normalcy of school day, then the ending, which lends more to realizing that life as they've known it is forever changed. Innocence lost. Well done! *hugs* ~ K
Posted: Aug 17, 2008
