I don't know what this is...

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Poem By: SkarlettStone
Erotica

I don't know how good this is......Its my first Erotic poem View table of contents...

Submitted: Mar 24, 2008 Reads: 72 Comments: 3 Likes: 0

If I had to give or take

The love that you provided

I'd choose to recive it from you

And never be un decided

I would not abuse

Someone new

And cause them all this pain

Your burns that bite

And bites that sting

Though you love more than I give

Harder, Faster, Stronger, Weak

Your breath is whats reviveing

Your body gets hard

My breath is faster

Your streangth makeing me Exsosted

But sliping in and out of things

I never gave all I Could

Though you are the death of me

If you hurt me none will I give

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Comments:

poewhit

Nice testimony comes from the heart

Posted: Mar 24, 2008

Author Comment:

thanx I really tried on this one.

Hi skarlettstone...a few spelling errors (i noticed in your profile you were keen to suggestions)
Your streangth makeing me Exsosted
Your strength making me exhausted.
Receive..and reviving ...another sp.
Anyhooo....you've got great thoughts in this, ex: though you love more than I give...wow that's a huge statement..yet he bites and stings.
Sometimes when I struggle with a poem (btw...i am no literary giant...just offering simple suggestions down a different thought path)...I follow a more defined or structured composition and that seems to help. (i follow rules until i get the swing of it). I hope I haven't offended you and do KNOW that your thoughts are pure passion.

Posted: Mar 24, 2008