Not Watching Her…

1.

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He refused to watch her dance, night, after night.

His lids low. Wanting. As she smiled, bending low

Respected her by not watching. It was his gift.

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She didn’t know how pretty she was. Gorgeous

Her beauty was endless in his eyes. She,

Giving of herself, to all that would take. An eye full

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And it ate at him. little by little. Night

After night. Not watching her smile fade…

Emptying her soul, with each demand obeyed.

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She had long dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin.

She was five foot six, with curves…

And she danced like an angel. She was good.

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Her hair swinging and flying righteously

as she dipped low her eyes sad. Only he saw that.

She had never danced for him, not once.

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He couldn’t bring himself to buy a lap dance.

He didn’t know what it would do to him,

For that matter, what it would do to her.

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He believed she loved him too…in his heart

And so he sat back in the shadows of the club.

Not watching her dance, night after night…

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2.

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She looked to see if he was out there

He pretended not to watched her dance.

She knew he did, and pretended not to notice..

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He was there, in the corner, brooding. Angry?

Why he did that she didn’t know…

Then again she did. She knew exactly why.

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But why? How could a man like him,

Fall in love…with a girl like her...

So she danced. For only him. In her mind.

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He was tall, with dark hair. Dressed well.

Had eyes darker than hers, thick eyebrows…

That pulled together in a frown, giving him up.

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He never bought a lap dance, not once.

He wouldn’t even approach her, for her attentions.

To stick a dollar in her garter belt…No. not him.

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She felt safer with him out there. Better.

Better about dancing for those men, that ogled.

She was glad he never bought her time, in a dance…

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Because it killed her, night after night.

Took a little piece of her, with every grab.

But all the eyes in the room on her, made no mind-

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If he was there, not watching her every move.

Not buying her affections, saving that part of her.

She imagined they were in love. And took it all off.

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3.

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There came a night he wasn’t there. Didn’t show

She looked for him, scanned the crowd, once…

Twice…heart pounding. Where was he?

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She scanned the corners, he hadn’t come?

All eyes were on her. Watching her dance.

Dirty hands grabbing, taking, suffocating her!

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She danced like an angel, broken.

Her, in her stilettos and dirty sexy dress.

Willingly for anyone, but him. Him. Where…?

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He wasn’t there, not watching. Not touching.

Someone paid for a lap dance. In a private room.

She thought for a moment, maybe…no? Him.

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But she couldn’t do it. No….No.! How could he?

Not for him. She couldn’t. No way. No!

And then again, she needed him there…not watching.

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Panic overcame her, and she turned. Scared. Confused.

She couldn’t do this anymore…This was going

To kill her. So she ran, she ran away…half dressed

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Grabbed her long coat from its hook. Over…!

Tears running down her cheeks, she left. Gone.

Walking away from the dirty place, done.

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4.

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He couldn’t watch anymore. Couldn’t not.

It was making a shell out of him, this. It hurt.

what was a man like him, doing here?

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Falling in love with a girl like her. Her...

With the sad dark eyes that asked him why? Why.

He was rich. Beyond rich. A wealthy son.

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With no friends to call his own. No one real. No one.

He understood the money/love exchange. More,

Than anyone. He knew her. More than she knew.

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But he couldn’t do it. Not watching, not having.

His hands on her, in her skimpy unworthy

Clothes. She should be dressed in silk. Would if…

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But no more. Not watching, not buying…her.

He wished she would give it up. For him,

So he didn’t have to give her up. She wouldn’t…

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On her own, because she wanted to. For him...

Because she deserved more. Wanted more. Damn it!

That was who. She. Was. Inside. He saw it. Did she?

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He hoped so. His eyebrows burrowed together. And he turned.

He’d come as far as the doors, stopped. This was Good bye.

It burned him. Turning, he walked away. From her…

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5.

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He wasn’t watching…She wasn’t dancing…

He walked down a dark alley leaving her behind.

She ran down a dark alley, leaving it all behind…

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Not watching. He hadn’t come, and she was done.

No more angel dancing. Broken. No more dirty place.

Brows furrowed, hands in pockets…leaving her.

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Running away from all those dirty hands, and money.

Long dark hair flying behind her. In her stilettos.

Turning corners. Each taking him farther away

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She stood in a dark alley, stiletto in hand. Broken.

It had lost it’s heel…she threw it.