A little piece of forever (redo)
Edward and I had graduated last year and have been together for 3 years now. We keep arguing over me becoming like him. A vampire; He would love for me to become just like him, but I don't want it…at least not right now I want to have as many human experiences as I can before I hit 20 that's the age I told him I wanted to be when I was turned. He wasn't too happy with that one because I'm only 18 meaning I have 2 years left to as he put it 'change my mind about him'. I think he only thinks like this because Jacob is still trying to get me to admit I love him. I do but not in the way he thinks I do I only love Edward and nothing could change that ever.
"Bella what are you thinking?" Edward asked snapping me back into reality
"Anything and everything," Was all I said as I stared out the window in my bed room.
Edward was sitting on my bed and I was sitting in my old rocking chair that was seated by my window.
"Anything you want to share?"
I shook my head 'no' then looked at him, "Why do you want me to become one of you so fast?"
"Bella I've been hoping you would change your mind since you told me you wanted to wait a few years."
"If I remember right you're the one who wanted me to wait when I first found out remember?" I stated without a change to my voice.
"Love, I didn't mean to upset you. I do remember, but I had changed my mind and agreed to do whatever you wanted to do, and now you want to wait…Bella I just don't get it." He said pitching the bridge of his nose.
I had never told him my real reason for waiting, but I think it's time to do so, "Edward the reason I want to wait is because as soon as I'm changed I'm going to have to fake a death for my dad…my friends…Jake…I can't do that to them I can't leave them all behind and just forget…my dad needs me and once I'm changed I can't be there for him…I also want to try something before I'm changed …" I let my voice trail off.
"You're worried about your dad I get that, but why your 'friends'" he asked putting quotes around friends.
"Angela she needs someone who she can talk to with ease, and right now I'm all she has."
"Bella there is something more I know there is. Why would you want to wait when we can start forever right now? What do you want to try?"
"Edward I told you I'm not ready, I can't say good bye just yet. And you won't ever agree to it anyway so it's not important…" I said then looked out my window.
"Bella," he said in a calm voice as he moved closer to me, "What do you want to try? I'll do anything."
I kept quiet for a few minutes then I moved closer to him and eventually I was sitting on his lap facing him, "Promise you'll keep an open mind?" I asked
"Anything for you, love" he said.
I leaned closer to him and then pulled him in for a kiss, but before I knew it he was pulling me back.
"Bella, no I told you before I could never lose control with you not even for a second, not while you're still human, not while I could kill you."
I moved back over to the rocking chair before I spoke again, " There is so much I'd have to give up, like ice cream, sleep, the warmth my heart has when I see you as soon as I wake up in the morning, being able to do the little human things that I love. The way you can make me blush when I don't want to, the butterflies in my tummy when you kiss me; they will all be gone as soon as I'm changed."
"Bella, I didn't know you would miss so much."
I let a single tear escape and then he was kneeling in front of me in a second.
"Please just think about it more, I love you Bella and I want to start our forever right here, right now."
Then I thought of it the perfect reason, "I want to be married first, and have a real human honey moon." I said as he wiped my tears away.
His smile went away, "Bella I can do the wedding no problem with that, but no not the honey moon. Do you understand how that could kill you? I could lose control for just one minute, one second, and you would be dead and there would be no way to save you." He said for the second time tonight.
"Then so be it." I said then got up and walked out of my room, he followed knowing that Charlie wasn't home so we could have the whole house to ourselves. He wouldn't be back until tomorrow so we had about 12 hours left alone.
"Bella, please don't do that to me."
I turned around and in a harsher tone than I meant to I said, "Do what Edward want to be human for 2 more measly years? Is that so much to ask? I want to live for two more years and experience different human things."
He went silent for a moment, "Bella that's not what I meant and you know that."
My cell phone range before I could respond to him I looked at the caller id and it was Alice, my best friend. "Hey Alice What's up?"
"I need you both to get over here NOW" then she hung up the phone.
I looked at Edward and he knew that something was wrong so we went to the car and got in, in silence not a word was said until we got there.
"Edward I don't want to fight I don't like it, but you have to know I want things too and some of them have to be met at one time or another. Please understand that."
"I do Bella and I'd wish you'd see things the way I do, I love you." He said then grabbed my hand.
"I love you too."
We got out of the car and got to the door of the house where Alice was waiting for us.
"Will you please explain why I saw both of your futures split apart?" she asked in an upset tone.
I looked at Edward," I didn't decide anything, but waiting those two little years. What did you decide?"
"Alice I'm sure they are mended back together now."
"No they are not."
"What did you decide Edward?" my voice got a little more upset.
"Bella come one we were both upset."
I threw my hands in the air and started walking away toward the car, "Just because I want to wait two years." I mumbled.
Next thing I know Alice and Edward are in front of me.
"Bella you need to calm down." Alice said trying to talk in a calming voice. "Please let him explain."
"He can on his way to take me home I want to be home." I stepped around them and got in the car.
They were talking and I could see their lips moving I just couldn't make out what they were saying. Edward got in the car and Alice ran up to the house and was inside before I could blink.
"Please just listen before you say anything," he waited for my response and when I didn't answer he continued. "I was mad so I thought just for a second about leaving and letting you live a normal human life forever without me interfering in anyway, but then I thought a little harder and I realized you wouldn't only loose me you would lose Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Jasper, and myself I knew you would break down not having anyone anymore so I told myself that I couldn't do that not to you or I." he stopped talking so I took my turn.
"Do you not remember what happened last time you left? The last time you did that?! It almost got both of us killed!"
"You're right and that's the main reason I changed my mind. I couldn't tell you why Alice hasn't seen us back together, but I can tell you what the vision was if you want to hear it."
"Tell me please." I said in a whisper as a few tears escape, I couldn't believe he wanted to leave.
He looked at me then started, "We were in your bedroom at Charlie's and we were arguing, but one thing was out of place," he stopped talking.
"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen don't you dare stop there."
"Your eyes were red." He said in almost a whisper.
"They were red?" I asked in a whisper
"She assumed that it was because you were a new born though." His voice a little more full than it had been before.
"Is that is or is there more?"
"Once we stopped talking even though she couldn't make out the conversation she saw you with the Voltori and I was alone in Italy somewhere."
"I would never join them, unless I had to and you know that Edward." I whispered as I looked at him.
"I know that and so does Alice so she is trying to figure out what we were talking about."
We were at Charlie's when he finished telling me the vision. We needed to fix this I couldn't be apart from Edward or anyone else let alone being with the Voltori.
"Bella are we going to get out of the car?" Edward asked.
"Um yeah." I said unbuckling my seat belt.
We got out and walked in silence to the house and once inside I decided I needed to say something before he went completely nuts.
"Hey?" I asked/said
He looked at me as if he was giving me permission to talk, "What if we wait a year instead of two, maybe even a couple months just give me time to say good-bye without really saying it."
"I like that, a lot." He smiled then pulled me in for a hug.
"I love you." I said.
"As I love you," He smiled. "I have to go I'll be back in an hour or so. That gives you time to eat right?"
"Oh yeah plenty, I'll see you in an hour."
He was gone without saying anything to me. I was left to my own thoughts and it was starting to get scary.
I pulled out a bowl and a can of Spaghetti-O's and poured the can into my bowl and put it in the microwave for three minutes. I hate being left by myself anymore I'm so used to being with someone that you never want to be left to your own thoughts it can be scary or even dangerous.
My 'what ifs' came flooding in fairly quickly, what if Alice is right and I end up apart of the Voltori, and Edward is alone somewhere in Italy? What if it's our plan and that's why we were arguing before she seen us apart? We would have to make it very believable because Aro would know if something was planned. How come Edward didn't join me in being a part of the Voltori? Did I do something unforgivable? I was snapped out of my own thoughts when the microwave beeped telling me that my food was done.
I ate with all my thoughts running through my head at once so as soon as I was done and I had cleaned the three things I had dirtied I went to go take a shower so I could relax the hot water always helped me calm down and stop thinking, but sometimes it did no good and I kept thinking about the very things I want to forget.
It must have been an hour because before I know it Edward was knocking on the bathroom door.
"Bella is that you?"
"Yeah." I called out.
He came in and shut the door behind him, "How long have you been in here? I tried calling you multiple times so you could come over to the house. Esme wanted to talk to you about something."
"Oh I don't know, but I can get out and we can head over there now if you want."
"Sounds good I'll leave you to get dressed then I'll be downstairs."
I heard the door open and close then I turned off the water and grabbed my towel and got out. Then I got dressed in a decent outfit, pulled my hair up into a pony-tail then went to go find out where Edward had went.
"Do you mind if we stop at the meadow before we go out there?" he asked as we pulled out of the drive way.
"Whatever you want to do, you're driving." I said.
He just smiled and then sped up like he was in a hurry to get there, "You know we have all night… I don't think Esme will be sleeping when we get there."
"No but you might be…" he chuckled.
I looked at him and smiled, we pulled up to the trail and both got out of the car and headed toward it to start our two minute journey into the forest as soon as I climbed on his back we were off.
He sat me down two minutes later on the ground in the middle of the meadow.
"How's your head?" he asked with a chuckle.
"You would think I'd be used to it by now huh?" I asked with a laugh.
"Well you are only human." I looked up at him and smiled.
"So what's so important that we had to come all the way out here out of every hearing range?"
"Stand up," he said as he pulled me to my feet. "Isabella Swan I promise to love you every moment of forever, would you do the extraordinary honor of marring me?" he said as he kneeled down on only one knee.
"Yes," I said speechless.
We spent about an hour total in the meadow together then we went to go see Esme with my ring weighing heavy on my hand.
We headed back to the car and once we were there Edward spoke up, "Do you want me to be with you when you tell Charlie?"
I hadn't thought about him when I agreed to being with him forever, it won't be pretty, but I think it will be okay Charlie can handle it.
"Bella did you hear me?" he asked looking at me with a worried look on his face.
"Yeah sorry, um if you want to be you can be it's up to you."
"Are you sure you want to do this Bella I will understand if you don't want to."
"No Edward I love you and if Charlie doesn't approve then that's his loss I can leave and do whatever I want I'm eighteen almost nineteen I can handle telling my dad. Besides as you had said to me, You are my life now." I said with a smile.
He smiled at me then started the car and we sped to Esme's house. Once we pulled up Edward was out of the car and to my door and had it opened before I could get my seat belt undone. I smiled and got out of the car he took my hand and we walked up to the house with Alice waiting at the door for us.
"Bella!" she exclaimed then hugged me.
"Alice!" I said imitating her
"Bella dear come with me," Esme said as she appeared in the door way behind Alice.
I followed behind her silently; I've never been one to question Esme especially when she wants to talk to me alone because when she does this it's always about something she is worried about so I had nothing to fear because Esme has been known to overreact to things.
"Bella, what is the real reason that you don't want to be a vampire?" she asked once we entered her bedroom and the door was closed.
"I've already told Edward I don't want to say goodbye to everyone yet." Surely she knows that I'm not ready.
"Bella you don't have to say good bye to everyone,"
I interrupted her there, "I don't?"
"No we can say you and Edward went on vacation and you can be away for a month or so then come home and we will come up with some reason why you have changed."
I hugged her, "I want to be married to Edward first." I whispered in her ear then held out my hand.
"That was his mother's you know." She said as she took my hand as if she needed to bring it closer to look at it.
"I know I can't believe he gave it to me"
"He loves you Bella, a lot more than you know."
We walked back down stairs to find everyone doing their own things Alice was rearranging the already perfect flowers, Carlisle was reading a book, Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere to be found, and Jasper was talking to Edward off in the corner. Everything seems to be as perfect as it gets around here, but something just didn't feel right. It's like something bad is going to happen and I will not be able to stop it until it's too late.
I was sitting talking to Esme when I started to yawn, "Edward you better take her home I'm sure she would like to get to bed." I smiled at her.
"I should because Charlie will be back tomorrow morning and I'm sure I'm going to have to listen to all of his finish stories." I laughed.
We said goodbye to everyone and we headed home, or at least to one of our homes. Being at Esme's always feels like more of a home than being at Charlie's but we still try to spend an equal amount of time at both places.
"Edward?" I asked to get his attention.
"Will you be there with me when I tell Charlie?" I asked as I looked at him.
"Only if you want me to be;" He said as he grabbed my hand.
"Please I'm going to need you to keep me calm when he suspects that you got me pregnant."
"I don't think he will Bella you underestimate him."
"Edward the night of the battle last year he pretty much asked me if I was a virgin…" I said letting my voice trail off.
He just chuckled as we pulled up to the house and he helped me out of the car like normal and we headed in the house hand in hand only to find Charlie waiting for me in the living room.
"Is there something you two have to tell me?" he asked eyeing my hand.
I looked over to Edward and he gave me a smile for reassurance, "Yeah actually dad we are getting married."
"It's the talk of the town ,when were you going to tell me?"
"As soon as you got home; I thought you were going to be back early tomorrow morning. I mean I didn't even see your car outside."
"I came home early due to weather conditions it was raining real badly up there." He didn't look to upset, but I wasn't taking any chances.
"What do you think about it, the wedding?" Edward asked.
"I'm happy for you, I really am…I'm surprised you didn't propose earlier."
Maybe Charlie has learned to love Edward even though he still hasn't fully forgiven him for leaving me just a few years ago.
"Dad I was thinking, and after the wedding in a few months what do you say about just Edward and I going on a vacation together for a month?" I asked.
"I guess I wouldn't have a say in it, but I think it would be good for you two to get out of town for a while."
Edward looked at me in a funny way then he spoke, "Bella I think Alice needed you for an hour or so tonight." he said giving me a quick wink.
"Go hurry back though I've got some stories to tell you." Charlie added
We got to the car and down the street before he talked, "Bella you want to get married in a few months then be gone for a month?" he was confused.
"Edward we can get married just after my 19th birthday then, Esme brought up the idea that on our honey moon you change me and I stay away and hidden for a month then I can come back and we will come up with some story that the public that including my dad will believe to why I have changed." I explained.
"So you want to be changed in just three short months?"
"Yes, I was thinking September 21st for the wedding."
"Bella that's just two months from today are you sure?"
"I think Alice can get everything together by then. Don't you?"
"What are people going to think when we suddenly get married then disappear for a month?"
"Whatever they want to think I'm not stopping them, come on my dad didn't even jump to that conclusion."
He just smiled and before I knew it we were parked in front of the Cullen house. Alice was outside when the car had stopped and she was jumping up and down waiting for me to get out of the car.
"You're really going to let me plan your wedding in only two months!?" she shouted.
"Yes can you handle it in just two months?"
"Bella I could have it ready by tomorrow at 6 if I needed to. Don't worry about it I've got it covered. But I've got to go get started on the dress!" She said then she was gone.
"Bella you really don't know how happy you just made her."
"Glad I could."
We spent just an hour there and then Edward took me back home and walked me to the door just like normal, "Bella I'll see you in a little bit. Keep your window open and I'll be there after I hunt."
"Take your time Edward your eyes are very dark." I stood on my tip toes then kissed him on the check, "I'll see you in an hour or so." Then I went inside.
After an hour talking with Charlie I realized it was 1 a.m. and I needed to sleep.
"Hey Char…Dad I'm going to head to bed, I'm tired today was a long day."
"Good night Bells"
I dragged myself upstairs to find Edward waiting on my bed, "Hey." I whispered as I crawled on to the bed not bothering to get pajamas on.
"You look tired." He whispered back to me.
I just nodded my head and got as close to him as I could then I was out.
I was walking through the forest in a big white puffy dress searching for someone. The darkness was starting to take over and I could help but scream. I started to run faster, and faster trying to escape the darkness, but it was faster than I was. Suddenly the darkness consumed me, and then everything went black.
I jolted awake breathing heavy covered in sweat.
"Bella what's wrong?" Edward questioned.
"It was just a dream." I said at barley a whisper.
"What was it? Bella you can tell me anything."
"I'm not sure, I was lost in the forest being chased by darkness and then it got me." I said laying back down.
He pulled me into his arms, "You don't have to worry I would find you if you ever got lost."
I pulled away, "What's up with you and thinking I can't take care of myself?"
"Bella love I know that you can take care of yourself completely, but I worry about you…you're so fragile."
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, I need to keep calm I don't want Charlie waking up to find Edward in the house when he clearly wasn't there to start out the night. I stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror trying my hardest not to scream. I want to be turned. Now
I walked back to my bedroom to find Edward waiting by the window, but before I could say anything my phone range. I walked over to it and answered not looking to see who it was.
"Bella are you sure you want to?"
"Alice can I call you back I haven't talked to him yet give me maybe five minutes."
"Alright, but as soon as you do call me right away don't hesitate…or come and find me."
I hung up and looked at Edward, "I want to do it now."
"Do what? "
''I want you to change me, tonight or tomorrow morning."
"Why so soon Bella I thought you wanted to wait?"
"Not anymore…I want to do this Edward I'm ready."
"Do you want to say goodbye to Charlie?"
"No its better if I just leave him a note."
I called Alice back and then wrote Charlie a note.
I'm sorry I have to leave you this way but it's for the best….
you would not have let me leave if I had said good-bye in person.
I'm sorry but I really need to do this and I'm 18 so I'll be fine and in
good hands…Please don't tell Edward I left he will be mad.
Please don't be mad at anyone but me, know that I'm happy and well
I promise that someday soon I will come back to you and visit.
I love you dad,
I put it on the counter and headed out to my truck. The plan was for it to look like I ran away. Edward is to be around here for a day then he is going to go 'look for me' knowing where I will be. After I wake he will come back for a week then get 'offered' a student internship in mane. Everyone else will stay here in forks until Alice and Jasper move a month later, and then Esme and Carlisle will join us. Our plan is to find a house somewhere in Alaska and live there for a month or more until I can get my thirst under control…the plans were the same as before this time they were rushed.
I kept driving straight out of town and once I hit the next town I knew that Charlie would be up and looking for me right away. He would check La Push, then the Cullen's, and then he would check the library, the store, and then he would freak out and start a search party. Completely ignoring my note I put it on the fridge knowing he'd see it, but whether or not he read it was a different story. Eventually he'd call it a night. Then once I called him in a few days from a disposable phone would he calm down and not continue to look for me as much as he had before. I knew him all too well Charlie is never one to give up, but he knows I can take care of myself.
I hit the small little town of Ravenswood, Washington and I knew I needed to pull over and wait for Edward to come and get me. I waited about ten minutes then I was in his arms again.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"As sure as I would be a month from now what are we doing with my truck?"
"Well I'm having Emmett pick it up in about an hour then he is going to take it to Rosalie and his place and put it in the garage until you are able to drive it again."
************time jump forward 4 hours*************************************
I was lying on the bed that Edward had instructed me too. I'm scared and I know it will be painful, but Edward said he was going to give me morphine to numb the pain as much as he could.
"Bella are you sure you want to do this, once I put the morphine in then there is no going back."
"Yes, let's do this," I looked at him and smiled, "I love you so much Edward."
"Don't say it like it's the last time you'll see me. I will be right here when you wake up."
"What do I do if you're not?"
"Emmett or Rosalie will be here. I promise you I will be here I love you Isabella."
I smiled then closed my eyes and waited for the pain to begin, and it did. It was like a thousand burning needles were jabbed in at the same time in one spot it was a searing pain that got worse with each passing second.my muscles cramped up it was like it was tearing from my bones, I just laid there, unable to do anything except suffer. I cannot even call out.