Chapter 6: Bailey's Longing
I was biting my bottom lip harder than usual. I hadn't thought about us in…forever…he had moved on, but the phone call…I forgot I hadn't told my mum about us…I choked, breaking up. More tears fell onto the perfectly framed photo of us I had kept, running my fingers gently on the side of the frame. It had been 3 months and I thought I was past this.
I looked over at my phone, vision blurry with the tears welling up. I blinked several times and sniffed, trying to compose myself while I blindly answered, "Hello?"
"Bailey! You coming over or what, Joydine and I have been waiting up - we want to see what the track sounds like in Ice Age 3!" Siva was hyper, and I smiled at it.
I was seriously contemplating whether or not to go. I hated seeing him with his girlfriend; they were too…too…sickly romantic. Plus I had been crying all day to the point I was choking. I already had the DVD…No, I couldn't stand her. Not today.
"Sorry, Seev, something came up and I have to stay home to…umm…" I tried to think of a good excuse, looking around quickly for ideas. I finally got it! "Jen is having emotional troubles and Max isn't available gotta go bye!" I hung up quickly, feeling guilty about lying to him. I decided to call Jen and make sure everything was okay. It would keep my mind off of things if something was amidst.
I sighed and dragged myself to the kitchen, shoving the picture into the drawer with all my pens, keys, and other miscellaneous items I don't even remember buying. The radio was turned on again; of course 'Lose My Mind' was on it. I hated that this station didn't play singles anymore. But I couldn't bring myself to turn it off, just drown myself in the lyrics
"'Cos you left a jagged hole and I can't stand it…anymore"
A deep hole…
"But you're hurting me from inside of my head I can't-"
"DAMN IT!" I threw it at the wall, breaking down and sitting down on my kitchen floor, letting my dark brunette hair fall in front of my face, drawing my legs up. I shook my head, getting a hold of myself. This couldn't be my life; I had to get past this.
By the time I got to Siva's house I had calmed down at least a little bit. I was able to put a fake smile on my face and used the spare key he had given way back when to open the door. It was really dark inside, and I smiled at the fact he still had a couple photos of the both of us up on the walls. Joydine was cuddled up next to him on the couch; they didn't even hear me come in. I smiled, perfect!
Sneaking up behind them, it was just at the part the song started playing and I leaned in, kissing his cheek. He smelled freshly like the candles he kept everywhere. I really missed that. He jumped when I did and smiled widely when he found out it was just me. "Hey stranger! Jen feeling okay?"
I shrugged, "she's all right. Just…decompressing" I laughed nervously, giving no indication that it had all been a lie.
"Oh...okay…but look - it's on!" he smiled wider and I looked up at the television as the camera panned over the view of the gorge of ice and all the so-called "teenager" animated characters gathering. I smirked and climbed over to the other side of him, ignoring Joydine's glare. He put his arm across the back of the sofa behind me and we both locked our eyes back to the television. Just like old times.
I shook my head, shaking away the memories, all the terrible thoughts that could make me start crying again.
-48 minutes later-
The movie was finally finished; Siva and I were exchanging looks during the perverted comments in the movie resisting laughter. "I guess…I'm going back to my flat now..." I rubbed my neck just so I was doing SOMETHING with myself. He nodded but looked behind him, it was only 9pm.
"Dessert?" He suggested, shrugging.
I nodded, smiling and heading back to the kitchen, grabbing the bowls and all other supplies needed so we could make sundaes. I poured half the chocolate syrup bottle onto his, just to annoy. "Want some, Joydine?" I held up a bowl, offering it to her.
"Sure..." she mumbled.
I knew she hated me being here. Then again, it wasn't her place to complain, was it? Right. I shook my head again, shaking away the thoughts. I just smiled, and flicked some whipped cream at Siva, getting into a chocolate syrup and whipped cream fight in the kitchen.
"Ah you got it in my eye!" I pretended to writhe, waiting for him to come closer to help before I playfully shoved my bowl in his face, smiling at my work. Everything washed away while he scooped his out of his bowl and smashed it in his hair.
"CHEATER!" I frowned, watching the syrup drip down my bangs. "I'm using your shower now." I pouted, grabbed an outfit from his laundry basket in the living space before running upstairs and stealing the occupancy of his bathroom. This night was everything it needed to be, and I was glad beyond anything else. I turned the water on, waiting for the steam and stepped in, washing away both the stress AND the syrup.