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my life is to painful

Novel By: kartz
Fan fiction


Tags: Fan, Fiction


there is a new girl in town Alice who has a really bad secret that she has been hiding for years can shun force it out of her or is it going to be too late to help I'm really crap at summaries and its on fan fiction.net please R&R and its got abuse in it and it does go into detail its just a little warning View table of contents...


Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Submitted:May 5, 2014    Reads: 3    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


~~Alice pov
No mum please be alright i pleaded in my brain as father walked down stairs and started to kick mum on her side mum groaned in pain as she tried to get up I felt relief
(Alice's father) "bitch get up and Alice get to school now" and hurry up about it I don't want people growing suspicious"
"ok father" i ran to get change i felt a burning sensation that was almost unbearable but I knew i had to as i was putting on my shoes i realised that it was Tuesday pe oh no I will just have to change in the showers i don't want no one to notice the bruises or scars left by father I packed my pe kit and my pack lunch and ran down stairs got my sandwich for breakfast and off i went i had 39 to get to school so i ran i entered the class room 5 minuets early thank god i sat down and thought this is going to be a stress full day why cant the earth just burn to the ground as i rested my head in the palm of my had i saw the bbr look at me in a suspitious way did they hear me yesterday i hope not
Shuns pov
Yes Alice is hear but she looks stressed and worried I need to catch her alone lunch or brake maybe but I need a good answer and if she tries to denies it I'm going to get the gang involved so she better tell me I'm walking over to her seat she's looking at me now runo and Julie and spectra have joined me
Alice pov
Shuns walking over to me with a determined face oh no I look at him but i know what he is going to ask just then Mrs. blossom comes in and tells us to get into our seats lucky me hey I just sat their day dreaming writing in my diary oh I forgot to mention it I have my thick diary and I write down what happens in my day and how I feel it helps but no one knows about it not even mum ouch my bruised belly i lifted up my top and looked down and I saw purple bruises I know it will take weeks for them to go lucky me I have some bandages in my bag just then I heard someone gasp I quickly pulled down my shirt and I slowly looked up and it was Mira clay she looked shocked I quickly shook my head so she wouldn't do what I thought she would which is tell the rest she looked me in the eye and had a sympathized and shocked expression on her face the bell went and I ran out of class so Mira wouldn't catch up with me
Mira pov
Oh my gosh I was sitting in class and I looked at the side of the table as i watched Alice pull up her top i saw massive bruises that are large and they cover most of her belly and they are so large that she only reviled half of them by accident I know there's more I need to find her at brake she gave me that look that said don't tell anyone if its bad I'm going to have to I cant hide that if its untreated it can kill her and I'm going to feel guilty I heard someone call me
(Keith) "Mira" Mira what's wrong?"
I snapped out of my daze
"Oh nothing just a little shocked that's all"
(Keith) "About what"
"Its nothing don't worry about it"
Shuns pov
We were in form and the bell went Alice sprinted off what's up with that I need to know what she's hiding but what's even more strange is Mira's behaviour she's awfully quite and stuck deep in her thoughts I need to know why that is because in form she wasn't like that until she looked at the side of the table towards Alice what did she see what made her upset and spaced out I'm going to ask her
"Mira what's wrong you seem a little distant"
(Mira) "I'll tell you at brake all of you but promise me this you wont talk about it or spread it"
"We promise"
I looked at the whole gang as they slowly nodded in response
Alice's pov
Thank god I'm finally at my class i said to my self can this day get any worse as mira and the rest of the gang came in the class room and mira sat next to me since it was her assigned seet and the rest was behind us mira gave me a look that said you better tell me after this double lesson and i gave her a look that is undeniably do i have to look and she nodded she understood i sighed and saw shun tap her shoulder she replied
(Mira) "What" even though she knew what he was going to ask?
(Shun) "You better tell me at lunch"
Mira ignored him she was getting angry
She turned to me and pointed towards my stomach i new exactly what she was on about i sighed and looked down at my class work and i started to do it and i looked up for the final time her face expression was a sympathized one and then i carried on with my work the bell went after 45 minuets i ran out but i felt a strong hard grip around my skinny wrist i jerked backwards towards the person i swung around saw Mira she gave me a glare if looks could kill then i would be dead i sighed "fine"
I led her to the bathroom and locked the door from the inside no one uses the bathroom we were in because strange things happen
"what do you want mira" i said it a little harsher than expected
(mira) "you know what them bruises i saw in form"
"Oh that"
(mira) "yh that"
It happened a week ago but it got worse and enlarged because of yesterday" i said the last three words quietly so she barely heard me but to my surprise she did
(Mira) "What happened yesterday?"
I told her what happened and i finished saying
"Don't tell anyone promise"
(Mira) "Alice I don't think I can but I will try if I find out you hurt anymore I will tell someone because whether you like it or not your life is in danger" and you need to get those checked out"
"Mira I can't I'm going to make things worse and i don't want people to get involved in what's happening"
(Mira) "Ok Alice but let me bandage those for you at least"
"Ok"
Mira began to bandage my bruises and i gasped and winced at the pain she tried to change my mind about not going to the hospital
(Mira) "Alice you should go to the hospital those bruises has been there for ages and its not safe to not get them treated" "i know your scared Alice but your putting yourself in more danger by not telling anyone"
I ran off as she said that i heard her sigh and i looked back to see if she was following me she wasn't and yes this day has been my worse so far just then shun popped out he had a frown on his face i knew that he knew but i barged pass him and then spectra grabbed my arm "ouch"
(Spectra) "Sorry Alice"
He pulled me backwards and i fell on to him
"Let me go your manhandling me i will tell the teacher"
(Spectra) "And i will just snitch that you got rapped and beaten severely yesterday from your father"
I sighed i was backed in the corner and i couldn't find a way out spectra's face expression was smooth and cool is he always like this i was bought out of my thoughts by spectra's voice
(Spectra) "That's why I'm the smartest kid"
(Dan) "Your an alien your from vestal and your way more advanced than us if you wernt you would be the second smartest Keith"
(Shun) "Can we get back to the subject?"
(Keith) "So you going to say or are you going to keep it a secret until its to late"
"its none of your business"
Shun grabbed my arm and i couldn't take it
I gave a small "owwww" to my surprise he heard it and so did Keith and Mira just then down the hall way
(Gus) "Master spectra i couldn't find you anywhere" "what's going on"
(Shun) "Never mind I will tell you in a minuet"
Shuns pov
I grabbed Alice's arm again and i got the same response it was a whisper but me and keith and mira could here ii
(Shun) "That hurts huh"
I pulled Alice's sleeve and felt her skin and i could feel the difference in textures they were cover up plasters made to match your skin so they were invisible
I attempted to peel one of then as i looked up tears ran down her face i slowly started to remove the sticky cover up as i did i saw a massive purple/black bruise it looked like it has been there for days i tried to remove the others but she snatched her hand away aggressively she stared into my eyes and as she did i stared into her chocolate brown eyes and as i did i felt a connection i cant explain it a connection where you like belong to someone she makes me happy even though i only known her for a week when this is all soughed i will ask her to be my girlfriend and we could be happy together i mean she deserves a bit of happiness don't she
I watched as she ran off in the corridor
(Mira) "What shall we do?"
(Shun) "There's only one thing to do tell the teacher or go to social services"
(Dan) "Dude that will only upset her more"
(Shun) "i don't care Keith I think you were right i am in love with Alice i want her pain to go away and by telling is the only way to do it"
We headed towards form and i saw alice sitting there she locked upset and desperate from the inside out she was crumbling
Alice's pov
I lifted up my skirt so my bare legs was showing i got my emergency blade out and stared to cut an uneven cut on my leg i watched as my thin fair skin started to split yes it hurt but it felt good i put my skirt back the way it was as i felt a drop of blood trickle down my leg it felt like all my worries are trickling away but not fast enough so i went for the second then the third then the forth now i was content now there was a huge self inflicted gash on my leg and it was very deep but did i care no
I just want someone to save me that's all hydranoid I spoke to my bakugan as he floated out my pocket and onto the table i watched every one look at me the bell went and i fled out the door and into the hell hole
I reached the front door i dogged all the fists frown at me
"Alice" my mum called i ignored her as i continued to run into my room as i did I literally threw my self on the bed i had enough
I pulled out my mp3 player put it at 100% and started to listen to the song as i thought un happy thoughts
All around me are familiar faces warn out places warn out faces
I took a knife out the draw and held it and started to play with it thinking all the possible things i could do with it
Bright and early for the daily races going no where going no where
(1) I could kill myself release the burden off my father who hates me
(2) I could kill him and release me and my mother from his evil and sinful hands
(3) I continue to hurt myself so i can die slowly and painful until the one who saves me comes or i die waiting for him/her

Their tears are filling up their glasses no expressions no expressions
My thoughts scare me sometimes and haunt me some times i want to go but then i decide against it
Behind my head i want to drown my sorrows no tomorrow no tomorrow
I want to drown my self and so i don't decide against it hydranoid i will slit my wrist so deep i will bleed to death
And i find it kind of funny i find it kind of sad the dreams which I'm dying are the best i ever had
Every night i wake up screaming and sweat dripping and they don't batter an eye lid am i really not that important to the world who will save me who will bring me out of those nightmares and into freedom tell me who
I find it hard to tell you because i find it hard to take when people run in scircles
I don't tell know one because no one listens they will diss miss my presents and continue to scream and shout its not my mothers fault its my fathers
Its a very very mad world
I don't understand why is everyone out to get me i feel like an prey being stalked to get killed then eaten and if thats going to happen i can only do two things
(1) Kill the preditors that are stalking me
(2) Kill my self and end it all at least i will have wings soon

The song continued to play
Children waiting for the day they feel good happy birthday happy birthday
What happy birthday the presents i get are bruises up and down my boady and a black eye and being impregnated and a nasty smoky black atmosphere and bandages and cover up's to cover what going on I envy people sometimes actually no all the time
And I feel that every child should sit and listen sit and listen
I feel that every time i try its no good i show people and they just don't listen but what happened today proves me to be wrong people do care do they rrrr i just don't know why does the world have to be so confusing
Went to school i was very nervous no one knew me no one knew me
I went to school actually it was ok yeah no one knew me but that's to be expected right but this boy shun i think I'm falling in love its love at first sight right but no i cant i will only hurt him and if father finds out he will kill him
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson look right through me look right through me
Even though Mrs. Blossom was a nice teacher i can't help but think that she dosent care about me and she thinks I'm useless like father does
And i find it kind of funny i find it kind of sad the dreams in which im dying are the best i ever had
Father makes me feel this way all the time he makes me feel like im an object and i only can be used for his personal desiers am i am i all that im good for tell me am i (i screamed that last part out loud
I find it hard to tell you because i find it hard to take when people run is circles its a very very
My life is a circle its like the cycle cant be broken until one of us leaves and right now I'm contemplating suicide because I'm loosing my sight loosing my mind wish some body can tell me I'm fine nothings all right nothing is fine I'm running and im crying im crying i cant go on living this way (song from papa roach last resort)
Mad world
I need answers now
My poem
Shun loving you is suicide but im willing to take the risk
i need to be in your arms
I need you to look at me and say and tell me that everything is fine because i feel like im crumbling away
And if you don't and i really will draw my very last breath and it will be the last time you ever saw me
And there is only one person to blame my
Father

~~Alice pov
No mum please be alright i pleaded in my brain as father walked down stairs and started to kick mum on her side mum groaned in pain as she tried to get up I felt relief
(Alice's father) "bitch get up and Alice get to school now" and hurry up about it I don't want people growing suspicious"
"ok father" i ran to get change i felt a burning sensation that was almost unbearable but I knew i had to as i was putting on my shoes i realised that it was Tuesday pe oh no I will just have to change in the showers i don't want no one to notice the bruises or scars left by father I packed my pe kit and my pack lunch and ran down stairs got my sandwich for breakfast and off i went i had 39 to get to school so i ran i entered the class room 5 minuets early thank god i sat down and thought this is going to be a stress full day why cant the earth just burn to the ground as i rested my head in the palm of my had i saw the bbr look at me in a suspitious way did they hear me yesterday i hope not
Shuns pov
Yes Alice is hear but she looks stressed and worried I need to catch her alone lunch or brake maybe but I need a good answer and if she tries to denies it I'm going to get the gang involved so she better tell me I'm walking over to her seat she's looking at me now runo and Julie and spectra have joined me
Alice pov
Shuns walking over to me with a determined face oh no I look at him but i know what he is going to ask just then Mrs. blossom comes in and tells us to get into our seats lucky me hey I just sat their day dreaming writing in my diary oh I forgot to mention it I have my thick diary and I write down what happens in my day and how I feel it helps but no one knows about it not even mum ouch my bruised belly i lifted up my top and looked down and I saw purple bruises I know it will take weeks for them to go lucky me I have some bandages in my bag just then I heard someone gasp I quickly pulled down my shirt and I slowly looked up and it was Mira clay she looked shocked I quickly shook my head so she wouldn't do what I thought she would which is tell the rest she looked me in the eye and had a sympathized and shocked expression on her face the bell went and I ran out of class so Mira wouldn't catch up with me
Mira pov
Oh my gosh I was sitting in class and I looked at the side of the table as i watched Alice pull up her top i saw massive bruises that are large and they cover most of her belly and they are so large that she only reviled half of them by accident I know there's more I need to find her at brake she gave me that look that said don't tell anyone if its bad I'm going to have to I cant hide that if its untreated it can kill her and I'm going to feel guilty I heard someone call me
(Keith) "Mira" Mira what's wrong?"
I snapped out of my daze
"Oh nothing just a little shocked that's all"
(Keith) "About what"
"Its nothing don't worry about it"
Shuns pov
We were in form and the bell went Alice sprinted off what's up with that I need to know what she's hiding but what's even more strange is Mira's behaviour she's awfully quite and stuck deep in her thoughts I need to know why that is because in form she wasn't like that until she looked at the side of the table towards Alice what did she see what made her upset and spaced out I'm going to ask her
"Mira what's wrong you seem a little distant"
(Mira) "I'll tell you at brake all of you but promise me this you wont talk about it or spread it"
"We promise"
I looked at the whole gang as they slowly nodded in response
Alice's pov
Thank god I'm finally at my class i said to my self can this day get any worse as mira and the rest of the gang came in the class room and mira sat next to me since it was her assigned seet and the rest was behind us mira gave me a look that said you better tell me after this double lesson and i gave her a look that is undeniably do i have to look and she nodded she understood i sighed and saw shun tap her shoulder she replied
(Mira) "What" even though she knew what he was going to ask?
(Shun) "You better tell me at lunch"
Mira ignored him she was getting angry
She turned to me and pointed towards my stomach i new exactly what she was on about i sighed and looked down at my class work and i started to do it and i looked up for the final time her face expression was a sympathized one and then i carried on with my work the bell went after 45 minuets i ran out but i felt a strong hard grip around my skinny wrist i jerked backwards towards the person i swung around saw Mira she gave me a glare if looks could kill then i would be dead i sighed "fine"
I led her to the bathroom and locked the door from the inside no one uses the bathroom we were in because strange things happen
"what do you want mira" i said it a little harsher than expected
(mira) "you know what them bruises i saw in form"
"Oh that"
(mira) "yh that"
It happened a week ago but it got worse and enlarged because of yesterday" i said the last three words quietly so she barely heard me but to my surprise she did
(Mira) "What happened yesterday?"
I told her what happened and i finished saying
"Don't tell anyone promise"
(Mira) "Alice I don't think I can but I will try if I find out you hurt anymore I will tell someone because whether you like it or not your life is in danger" and you need to get those checked out"
"Mira I can't I'm going to make things worse and i don't want people to get involved in what's happening"
(Mira) "Ok Alice but let me bandage those for you at least"
"Ok"
Mira began to bandage my bruises and i gasped and winced at the pain she tried to change my mind about not going to the hospital
(Mira) "Alice you should go to the hospital those bruises has been there for ages and its not safe to not get them treated" "i know your scared Alice but your putting yourself in more danger by not telling anyone"
I ran off as she said that i heard her sigh and i looked back to see if she was following me she wasn't and yes this day has been my worse so far just then shun popped out he had a frown on his face i knew that he knew but i barged pass him and then spectra grabbed my arm "ouch"
(Spectra) "Sorry Alice"
He pulled me backwards and i fell on to him
"Let me go your manhandling me i will tell the teacher"
(Spectra) "And i will just snitch that you got rapped and beaten severely yesterday from your father"
I sighed i was backed in the corner and i couldn't find a way out spectra's face expression was smooth and cool is he always like this i was bought out of my thoughts by spectra's voice
(Spectra) "That's why I'm the smartest kid"
(Dan) "Your an alien your from vestal and your way more advanced than us if you wernt you would be the second smartest Keith"
(Shun) "Can we get back to the subject?"
(Keith) "So you going to say or are you going to keep it a secret until its to late"
"its none of your business"
Shun grabbed my arm and i couldn't take it
I gave a small "owwww" to my surprise he heard it and so did Keith and Mira just then down the hall way
(Gus) "Master spectra i couldn't find you anywhere" "what's going on"
(Shun) "Never mind I will tell you in a minuet"
Shuns pov
I grabbed Alice's arm again and i got the same response it was a whisper but me and keith and mira could here ii
(Shun) "That hurts huh"
I pulled Alice's sleeve and felt her skin and i could feel the difference in textures they were cover up plasters made to match your skin so they were invisible
I attempted to peel one of then as i looked up tears ran down her face i slowly started to remove the sticky cover up as i did i saw a massive purple/black bruise it looked like it has been there for days i tried to remove the others but she snatched her hand away aggressively she stared into my eyes and as she did i stared into her chocolate brown eyes and as i did i felt a connection i cant explain it a connection where you like belong to someone she makes me happy even though i only known her for a week when this is all soughed i will ask her to be my girlfriend and we could be happy together i mean she deserves a bit of happiness don't she
I watched as she ran off in the corridor
(Mira) "What shall we do?"
(Shun) "There's only one thing to do tell the teacher or go to social services"
(Dan) "Dude that will only upset her more"
(Shun) "i don't care Keith I think you were right i am in love with Alice i want her pain to go away and by telling is the only way to do it"
We headed towards form and i saw alice sitting there she locked upset and desperate from the inside out she was crumbling
Alice's pov
I lifted up my skirt so my bare legs was showing i got my emergency blade out and stared to cut an uneven cut on my leg i watched as my thin fair skin started to split yes it hurt but it felt good i put my skirt back the way it was as i felt a drop of blood trickle down my leg it felt like all my worries are trickling away but not fast enough so i went for the second then the third then the forth now i was content now there was a huge self inflicted gash on my leg and it was very deep but did i care no
I just want someone to save me that's all hydranoid I spoke to my bakugan as he floated out my pocket and onto the table i watched every one look at me the bell went and i fled out the door and into the hell hole
I reached the front door i dogged all the fists frown at me
"Alice" my mum called i ignored her as i continued to run into my room as i did I literally threw my self on the bed i had enough
I pulled out my mp3 player put it at 100% and started to listen to the song as i thought un happy thoughts
All around me are familiar faces warn out places warn out faces
I took a knife out the draw and held it and started to play with it thinking all the possible things i could do with it
Bright and early for the daily races going no where going no where
(1) I could kill myself release the burden off my father who hates me
(2) I could kill him and release me and my mother from his evil and sinful hands
(3) I continue to hurt myself so i can die slowly and painful until the one who saves me comes or i die waiting for him/her

Their tears are filling up their glasses no expressions no expressions
My thoughts scare me sometimes and haunt me some times i want to go but then i decide against it
Behind my head i want to drown my sorrows no tomorrow no tomorrow
I want to drown my self and so i don't decide against it hydranoid i will slit my wrist so deep i will bleed to death
And i find it kind of funny i find it kind of sad the dreams which I'm dying are the best i ever had
Every night i wake up screaming and sweat dripping and they don't batter an eye lid am i really not that important to the world who will save me who will bring me out of those nightmares and into freedom tell me who
I find it hard to tell you because i find it hard to take when people run in circles
I don't tell know one because no one listens they will diss miss my presents and continue to scream and shout its not my mothers fault its my fathers
Its a very very mad world
I don't understand why is everyone out to get me i feel like an prey being stalked to get killed then eaten and if thats going to happen i can only do two things
(1) Kill the preditors that are stalking me
(2) Kill my self and end it all at least i will have wings soon

The song continued to play
Children waiting for the day they feel good happy birthday happy birthday
What happy birthday the presents i get are bruises up and down my boady and a black eye and being impregnated and a nasty smoky black atmosphere and bandages and cover up's to cover what going on I envy people sometimes actually no all the time
And I feel that every child should sit and listen sit and listen
I feel that every time i try its no good i show people and they just don't listen but what happened today proves me to be wrong people do care do they rrrr i just don't know why does the world have to be so confusing
Went to school i was very nervous no one knew me no one knew me
I went to school actually it was ok yeah no one knew me but that's to be expected right but this boy shun i think I'm falling in love its love at first sight right but no i cant i will only hurt him and if father finds out he will kill him
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson look right through me look right through me
Even though Mrs. Blossom was a nice teacher i can't help but think that she dosent care about me and she thinks I'm useless like father does
And i find it kind of funny i find it kind of sad the dreams in which im dying are the best i ever had
Father makes me feel this way all the time he makes me feel like im an object and i only can be used for his personal desiers am i am i all that im good for tell me am i (i screamed that last part out loud
I find it hard to tell you because i find it hard to take when people run is circles its a very very
My life is a circle its like the cycle cant be broken until one of us leaves and right now m running and im crying im crying i cant go on living this way (song from papa roach last resort as it mentaly faded away)
Mad world
I need answers now

gary jules mad world her the music from her mp3 player faded then stoped she mentaly though of her poem she mentaly thought

My poem
Shun loving you is suicide but im willing to take the risk
i need to be in your arms
I need you to look at me and say and tell me that everything is fine because i feel like im crumbling away
And if you don't and i really will draw my very last breath and it will be the last time you ever saw me
And there is only one person to blame my
Father





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