CHAPTER 27: REGRETS?
(Renesmee Black’s Point Of View)
Jacob and I stayed at his house for the next night. Edward and Carlisle were happy to let me go. They knew that Jacob and I still needed our time.
So I let Jacob carry me into his house. It was long past dark. We stayed at the beach all day. Most of the time we were silent and we held each other. Jacob had a harder time holding me close like he used to because of my large stomach, but he still managed to do it.
I could tell that being in his house was hard for him, but at least it looked decent. Nothing was ruined or broken. It look like any other time I had been in here.
Jacob set me on his bed and he got out a shirt and a pair or shorts for me. He went out of the room to get my medicine from his truck and I put his clothes on. When he came back, I was just finished putting the shirt on. I set my clothes on the floor with my dress that I had forgot here the last time.
I sat on his bed and Jacob gave me my pills. I had to take one of each every hour that I was awake and double before I went to bed. There was only two pills that I had to take, but Carlisle said that since I had been under a lot of stress lately that it was better that I took them a lot.
After I swallowed them, I laid down on his bed and Jacob had his back to me. He was on the other side of the bed, stilling at the edge. I put my medicine on my clothes and I stared at his back.
“Jake?” I asked.
He looked back at me and I saw that he was a bit paler than normal.
“Jake?” I asked.
“Renesmee…Renesmee what if we gave them up for adoption?” Jacob asked in a whisper.
I stared at him. Shocked.
“Jake? No, NO!” I said, tears coming to my eyes.
Jacob saw my tears and he rushed over to me, but I turned my back to him. I flinched away when he placed his hand on my shoulder. The tears came pouring from my eyes. Was this what Jacob was thinking about all day? Did he really want to give up our kids?! Our babies?!
“Renesmee, please let me explain.” Jacob whispered.
“You want us to give up our kids?!” I whispered, my voice shaking.
I heard him getting off of the bed and soon enough, he was in front of me, sitting on his knees. I tried to look away, but he begged, “Renesmee. Please?”
I sighed and turned to look at him again.
“I don’t want to give up our kids.” Jacob told me.
“Then why would you ask me that?” I demanded.
Jacob took my hands and he squeezed them as we looked at each other.
“Renesmee, you haven’t looked at yourself at all since we came from the hospital. I’ve never seen you like how you are now. Renesmee, you’re eyes are bloodshot and red and they only open into slits. You’re skin is as pale as your brother’s. You haven’t said anything all day. I’ve never seen you so scared and shocked. You look so sad.” Jacob said, “No, I’d never want to give up our kids, but if it means that you’ll be like this all the time then I would want you to be happy. Yes, I know that we don’t have a house or a lot of money, but you know that I’ll do anything to get that. I’ll also do everything to make you happy. Right now, you don’t look happy.”
I stared at him for a long time.
“I…I don’t know Jacob. I’m…I’m just shocked okay. I mean, I am happy, but I just didn’t think that I would be having that many kids all at once. Like, Jacob a baby is a lot of work and a lot of money. I know that you will be there, but…I don’t really know.” I admitted.
I sighed and Jacob kissed my forehead.
“Would you really give them up just for me?” I whispered.
“I can’t stand to see you in this state.” Jacob told me.
“I don’t know whether to kiss you or hit you now.” I whispered and a smile appeared on his face.
“I guess that I deserved it.” Jacob said.
I nodded and Jacob kissed my cheek.
“Do you think Billy would allow us to live here with the kids?” I asked, “I don’t want them around newborns and everything. Well to live with. That’s it.”
“Probably. You know him, but we probably should get our own place.” Jacob said.
“You better start getting a job then.” I told him.
He nodded and he then got up and went over to the other side of the bed. It was late and both of us were still tired. I leaned over and looked at him as he sighed and said, “Renesmee?”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Do you regret it?” Jacob asked in a small voice.
I froze. I loved Jacob and I already loved my children, but…it was too soon. Jacob got my answer loud and clear by my silence. He didn’t say anything and didn’t do anything. All he did was just turn off the light and he went into the bed next to me.
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