Clouded Sun

CHAPTER 58: IS THE PLAN FAIR?

(Jacob Black’s Point Of View)

I gently picked Renesmee off of the couch and then carried her upstairs. All of us were now done talking about the plan and now most of us were going to bed. It was a little after midnight and after all that we now had to think about we wanted to rest or at least think about it ourselves without anyone else.

I knew that I was going to hate work tomorrow. I was tired yes, but the talk was important and I now had my own thoughts on this plan. Thinking about them I knew that I was going to be up for a little bit longer. I might only get a couple of hours of sleep tonight.

When I got us into our room I did my best to turn on the light and bring the covers back for her. Once that was done, I placed her into the bed and I brought the covers up to her chin. She moaned a little in comfort and I then kissed her cheek. I smiled down at her and then turned on the lamp light. Once that was done I shut the door to our room so that we had some privacy and I then turned off the main light so that it was darker in the room for her to sleep.

I silently got into a pair of sweat pants before I got into bed beside her. She slept soundly and I then shut off the light before I kissed her cheek again. As I let my eyes adjust I realized that her clothing that she just got was going to be getting small. She was still growing.

I loved Renesmee for doing this. I thought that she wouldn’t want to marry me, but I was happy that I was wrong. I loved her so much and I loved her even more because she was carrying my children. I could see that she was sometimes in pain, but she never let it get to her. She loved her children already and wanted to give them the happiest life no matter what. She knew. She knew that she and I would love these kids.

I smiled down at her, but it quickly faded when I then began thinking of my father and sisters. I wanted my family to be safe because I didn’t want to lose any more of them. Losing my mother was hard enough. I didn’t want to lose any of them.

Especially my father. I loved my father and I would always love him no matter what he did. He always supported me in what I have done and he has never done anything to hurt me. He always had time to see me when I had school performances or sports or other things like that. I wanted my father to be here when Renesmee gave birth to my children. I loved my sisters, but I wanted my father here when Renesmee had my children.

And if the plan went into action then I might not get him here for that.

I felt my eyes start to water and I turned over to look at Renesmee. I had to stop my hand in mid air to think. I was right when I thought that this plan would keep me up and I wanted to get my feelings out. I wanted to tell someone and I knew that Renesmee would understand.

But could I really do that? Could I really wake her up? She was pregnant and weak and needed her sleep.

But who else was I to talk to.

I battled myself for at least five minutes before I made up my mind. The tears were now gone, but I had a hard time deciding if I should wake her up or not or if I should talk to her another time. I didn’t want to bother her, but I didn’t know who else I could really talk to. I needed someone to talk to though and I knew that Renesmee would stay awake to listen to me. Or at least she would try her best to stay up to hear my thoughts.

So I quickly turned on the lamp light again before I gently placed my hand on Renesmee’s shoulder. Her face was looking into my direction. I sighed and gently shook her shoulder. She moaned and I whispered to her, “Renesmee?”

She blinked awake and then stared at me. She looked around to see that she was in her own bed and she then looked at me.

“I’m sorry that I woke you up honey.” I told her.

“It’s okay Jacob. Do you need to talk about something?” she asked.

“Yeah. Actually I do.” I admitted.

“Okay. What is it? You can tell me anything.” Renesmee said looking at me.

I sighed.

“It’s about your plan.” I said, “I think that it is a good plan, but it won’t exactly help me personally though.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, okay. I don’t want to seem greedy or self absorbed and I know that getting at least the kids home are important, but the plan can only really help the kids and Sue. What will it really do for me, Sam, Jared, and Paul?” I asked her in a whisper.

“Sorry, but can you please explain to me why Paul is in that list.” Renesmee said.

“Paul imprinted on Rachel.” I reminded her.

“Oh yeah. Sorry. Go on.” Renesmee said.

“Well I don’t like to be rude, but I want my sisters and father to be safe. The plan won’t get them back here.” I told her.

She nodded and told me, “well not directly, but if we get Sue and the others then we could get the location of where they are, how many re-informants that Irina has, if the hostages are being treated right. Things like that. If we get Sue to come here as well as the kids and maybe even Shauna Leigh then we get more information about Irina and what her plans are. Then we can get Billy and the others back.”

“I know, but I want him back now. I want him here so that he can be here for the birth of our kids. I want him to see you pregnant. This will be the first time he’s going to get grandchildren. Maybe even the only time. I want him to be here. He doesn’t even have any idea that you are pregnant. He might even think that we are still happy on our honeymoon. The plan will take him a longer time for him to get home…if he will ever get home.” I said.

Renesmee looked me over.

“Jake he’ll be okay. He’ll come home. Maybe not right away like Sue and some of the others, but we will find him and get him to come home. He’ll come home and we have months before I give birth. Well hopefully. I don’t think that you are being greedy Jake, but you miss your family and you want them to be okay.” Renesmee said.

I smiled at her. I knew that she would understand and everything. I knew that she would be there to hear me out and listen and give out advice. I knew that she was tired. I could see her almost falling to sleep and I knew that she wasn’t bored, but she was tired by herself because of the time of night that it was.

“So I’m guessing that they are going along with my plan then?” she asked.

“Yes. We all agreed that it would help to save some hostages and possibly find the others.” I answered, “you were smart to think of that.”

“Thank you.” Renesmee said and she then told me, “we’ll get Billy and your sisters. I know that you miss them and you want them back. Have faith. This plan will work.”

I nodded and sighed. I then leaned forward and I leaned forward and I kissed her. She looked at me as I came back and I then sighed, “thank you for listening.”

“Jake you know that I will always be here to talk. You can talk to me about anything and you can always talk with me about things. I love you. I know that you will be there for me and I want you to know that I will always be there for you.” Renesmee told me.

I kissed her and held her. I rocked her and kept kissing her. She smiled and giggled. She rested her head on my arm since she was too big to get onto my chest. I didn’t want to squish our kids, but I wanted to show her that I loved her. I didn’t care that it was almost two thirty in the morning. I loved Renesmee and every day she amazed me.

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