I waiting anxiously for the teacher to tell us why Justin wouldn't be returning to this school. What the hell happened? Oh god.. please don't tell us he finally succeeded at committing suicide. Please, please, please. Oh God. I felt myself start to sweat and my heart beat quickened due to the nervousness i was feeling now. I've been sitting here, waiting for him to continue with his sentence for about twenty seconds now which is a pretty long time if you're waiting to fine out why your ex-best friend won't be coming back. Finally, he told us, "Justin is going to be homeschool for now on. Now, please don't ask why."
Homeschool? Why would Justin want to be home-schooled? You'd think he's want to continue going here to see his friends.. or even his girlfriend. But maybe he didn't want to be around me. Maybe he really doesn't care about me anymore. I'm sure that's it. He doesn't want to be around me anymore because we are no longer friends. I see how it is.
"What?"s were heard from almost every student in te classroom. Some looked sad, some looked happy, some you could tell just didn't really care at all.
"So he's seriously not coming back?" Selena asked.
The teacher shook his head, no. Selena slouched back in her seat then and turned around to glare at me. What the hell did i do to her now?
THen more people turned back to me and glared. I just looked at all of them.
"What?" i said.
"This is all your fault," one of Selena's friends said.
"My fault? How is it my fault?"
"Because it's all because you and Justin aren't friends anymore. Now he's not coming back. Because of you," she said with an attitude.
Before i could respond to her, the teacher interrupted with a loud "that's enough." The girl squinted childishly at me, then turned back around to face the front, as did the other students also. I rolled my eyes and slouched back in my seat. Great. After the word gets around that Justin isn't coming back, i'm gonna be the most hated person in school. Fabulous.
Biology dragged on slowly. By the end of the class, i was completely miserable. After the teacher assigned us an eight page packet to fill out, we got free time to work on it, which of course was supposed to be quiet. But quiet, means room to talk. Which of course happened. And guess what everyone talked about. You guessed it, me. And Justin. I got more glares and fingers pointed at me. and at one point durring the class, there was actually a piece of paper floating around the room with my name on the top of it. I had a feeling it wasn't a good thing. But i never did get a chance to read it. I don't think i want to either.
As soon as class was over, i quickly walked over to my locker, put in the combination, and put all my stuff in. I closed it without retrieving anything either. I decided that i didn't want to deal with all the hate for the rest of the day. I might as well just ditch. Not completely of course, but close enough.
I walked out the closest door and stepped into the cold, winter air. I pulled the bottom of my sleeves over my hands, covering them from the cold. I walked around the edge of the building until i got to the back. I prayed to God i wouldn't be seen by any of the students through the windows. If i was, they'd tell a teacher, the teacher would tell the principal and i would be in deep trouble. it would NOT be good.
I started walking towards the woods. I needed time to myself. I would go home, but Troy's there and i just want to be by myself for a while. I want a stable place with no bad memories. Somewhere i can just relax and think without having to worry about being interrupted by anyone.
And the only place i could think of that i would get all of that is..
my little hut in the woods. Which was exactly where i was heading.
I reached the edge of the woods and proceeded onto the familiar trail that should lead to my hut. I walked for a few minutes.. as i was walking, i started to feel my hands and feet go numb from the cold. Damn it. I've been out here for only a few minutes and i already cant feel my fingers. I was debating on whether i should turn around and head back when i finally saw it. My hut. I walked closer until i was about five feet from it. It felt like forever since i'd been there. The wood on it was beginning to grow moss and the door looked a little frozen to the ground. I tried opening it anyways. After a few tugs, it finally opened and i stepped inside, escaping the cool breeze temporarily.
The beanbag chairs i had set in here when i'd first discovered this were starting to shed a few beans here and there, but nothing to major. The lights on the ceiling were still in good shape, not ruined or damaged in any way.
I sighed and took a seat on one of the beanbag chairs and looked around a bit. I hugged my knees to my chest and took a few deep breaths. Then i suddenly remembered when i had taken Justin out here. How i almost got him to admit that he liked me for the first time.
How we got lost and was stuck in the woods for, what, almost twenty four hours?
How we were basically forced to spend the night out here in the freezing cold. Although i did get one good thing out of that experience. I got to cuddle with Justin all night. Hehe.
That's another thing i'll miss about us being friends. Cuddling. I love being in his arms so much. Those strong, muscular arms. So comfortable and warm. Now who knows when or if i'm ever going to be able to experience that again. Ugh. This sucks. Now i'm going to have to sleep alone every night too. Damn it.
I sighed and crossed my legs, starting to feel even colder now. I regretted coming out here now. I wanted so badly to go back into the warm, heated school. But i knew that if i did, i would continue to be bullied throughout the day. And i did not want to deal with that. Especially with everything else that's going on in my life at the moment.
So i decided that while i'm out here alone, i might be able to squeeze in a nap. Even if it was in fourteen degree weather. I stood up, lined the beanbags up so that they were right next to each other and laid down, the bottom of my legs barely hanging off of the second one. I got comfortable and closed my eyes. Minutes later, i found myself dozing off to the image of a warm, tropical beach with a temperature of ninety eight degrees in my head.
I was slowly brought back from unconsciousness and was immediately surprised by my apparent surroundings.
!.) It was warm.
2.) It smelt like Axe cologne. Which wasn't exactly a bad thing. I love the smell of Axe. But why the hell would it smell like Axe?
and 3.) I was extremely comfortable. Finally i started to realize that i wasn't in the woods anymore. I was clearly in a bed somewhere. The soft sheets surrounded me and warmed me up.
It was silent too. Which was odd. Was here alone? I slowly opened my eyes and looked around slowly. I knew this room too well to not be able to figure out who's it was. And no, it wasn't mine. It was Justin's. Why the hell am i in Justin's room?
I sat up in bed and pulled the covers off of me a little. And that's when i noticed it. I was wearing Justin's pajama bottoms. That must be why it smelt like axe. Wait a minute.. how did i get changed into his pajama bottoms? I looked myself over one more time. I wasn't wearing my sweatshirt anymore and my scarf was off. I was still in my ank top though.
So i was in Justin's bed, in his pajama bottoms, but there was one thing missing. Justin. Where is HE? I sighed and laid back down. How did i even get here? I know i didn't wake up once. So it's not like i came here myself. Maybe he kidnapped me or something. Ha. Just kidding. Kind of.
Just then, the door to the bedroom slowly opened. Justin walked in quietly, and shut the door behind him softly. He was wearing his coca-cola pajama bottoms and.. of course.. he was shirtless. God. I swear he does this on purpose.
I sat up in bed as he turned around to face me. He raised his eyebrows slightly. He looked like he was actually surprised that i was awake. He walked over and sat down beside me.
"Sleep well?" he asked me.
"I.. i think so," i said. Although, when i sat up completely, i did notice there was a light kink in my neck.
Justin chuckled and looked down.
And then i remembered that he was supposed to still be in the hospital.. right? Until tonight..
"They let you out early?" i asked him. He nodded.
"Yup. I guess i lucked out," he said.
I nodded. Things were quiet between us then for a while until i finally asked him "how did i get here?"
He looked up at me. "The school called my mom around one asking if we'd seen you. He said you left school randomly and that no one had seen you in a few hours. And of course, we hadn't seen you. Then he asked if we thought we might know where you would be. And.. i just guess that you would be.. in the woods.. i guess. I tried explaining to him where exactly that was. But he's so clueless, he didn't understand anything. So i just told him i'd go find you myself. And when i did find you, you looked pretty cold.. and obviously tired. So i called my mom and she told me to bring you back and get you warmed up. Is that okay?"
Is that okay? Are you kidding me? You just saved me from possibly suffering a cold and hypothermia and he's asking me if it's okay?
"Of course," i told him. "But how did i get changed exactly?" i asked. Did he, like, change me himself? I mean, not that i would have a problem with that. He's seen me in my underwear more that a few times. It wouldn't be a huge deal, i just wanted to know.
"You don't remember?" he asked me. i shook my head.
"I had woken you up when you got here. You were probably half asleep. You changed and immediately crashed."
I nodded, understanding. Yup, that's sounds like something i would do. Okay.
Justin and i sat there awkwardly for a while, not knowing exactly what to say. After everything that's happened between us lately, things were different. A lot different. And i wasn't sure i liked it. But i also wasn't sure i wanted to go back on my decision either.
"Justin?" i said suddenly, wanting to break the silence by asking a question i'd been wanting to ask him all day.
"Yeah?" he responded.
"Why are you going to be home-schooled?" i asked him, honestly curious.
He sighed and looked down.
"To be completely honest," he said, "Wel there's a couple reasons. The first being that i don't want to make anything any harder for you. I know you're going through a lot right now, Nina. I don't want to put more stress on you by constantly being there to remind you of how bad i've hurt you or anything. You don't deserve that," she looked down and sighed.
"The second reason being that i just don't really wanna be around Selena that much," he chuckled quietly toward the end.
"Justin, do you really think that you being at school would put more stress on me?"
"Well, it wouldn't. Just because.. we can't be friends.. doesn't mean i still don't want to see you around. To be honest, the only reason i actually go to school everyday is so i can see your smile. Whether you know it of not, even just getting a glimpse of you from down the hall can make my day so much better, Justin. You have no idea."
A smile instantly appeared on his face.
"Really?" he asked. I nodded and looked into his eyes. God. He has the most gorgeous eyes ever, i swear. Damn, i have got to stop doing this. I'm supposed to be separating myself from him, not dragging myself back TO him.
Just then, i noticed his lips getting closer and closer to mine. Shit. Shit. Shit. No this can't happen. I can't let this happen. And then i realized that he wasn't the one leaning in. I was. I wanted this to happened as much as i didn't want it to happen. He was the only one in the world who could actually ever make me feel truly loved. And i needed that. I yearned for that. The need to feel loved was much stronger than my need to feel emotionally safe at the moment. So i didn't stop myself. I continued leaning in until our lips finally touched. Our lips moved perfectly with each others for a few minutes. 'God, this is perfect' i thought to myself. No interruptions, just us, together again. No, no, Nina what are you doing? I stopped myself and pulled away, slowly of course, letting the feeling still linger on my lips.
Justin then cupped one hand on the side of my face and leaned hiss forehead against mine. He looked over my face, then back into my eyes again.
"You're so beautiful, you know that? God. Why are you so perfect?" he said. The look in his eyes told me he was being completely honest and sincere, causing a swarm of butterflies to suddenly erupt in my stomach. Then before i knew it, his lips were against mine again. But this time, i didn't pull away. I couldn't make myself. I was getting too caught up in the moment. And honestly, i didn't care. I liked it. And i didn't want it to end. Ever.
As the kiss went on, the butterflies in my stomach got stronger and i felt myself start to fall for him all over again. This whole separation, take-a-break-from-our-friendship-thing, was going to be a whole lot harder than i had originally planned.