"What I wouldn't give to make you turn around and go back," I
gritted my teeth.
"Yeah, noted. Cameron said it was a good thing to have the two of
us with her," Ryan said firmly.
"He said extra protection wouldn't hurt," I shot.
"So what's the problem? You're second in command. If you want it
so much, then order me to turn around."
You'd think that he was doing his best to help no matter how
unwelcome his help was. You'd think he was probably a nice guy,
who didn't mind stepping on a few toes to do the right thing. Of
course you'd establish I was the stubborn one getting in his way.
You'd be wrong. I was shaking all over and Amber's disapproving
stare did nothing to help.
"Ryan we all know he's not going to do that," she intervened
"He wants to though, he just admitted it. So much for your
"It's called honesty, and no matter how blunt it's better than
pretending this isn't uncomfortable," she sighed.
"You'd think he'd be a bit nicer though wouldn't you? After all I
am protecting his girlfriend," he said loudly.
"That's it! Screw what Cam thinks, turn around and go back! I
don't give a damn what he says to me about it," I shouted, but
Amber gripped my arm.
"Kyle you don't mean that."
"I don't need any help; I can protect you just fine. If the pack
gets attacked the chances of them tracking the scent to here are
almost non existent," I told her.
"I know that but you know that sending him back isn't fair," she
said with subtle finality.
"Thanks Amber," Ryan said politely.
"Shut it would you? I'm going wolf to stay linked, and when I do
I won't be able to cut off your crap," I muttered irritably.
She curled closer to me and the heat of my body warmed her soft
skin. I adjusted myself so she could lie more comfortably against
me. Her gently waving hair caressed her face just as I wished I
could do right then. Her eyelids flickered slightly as she
worried in her dreams. Slim fingers clutched my fur before
relaxing as she finally settled.
Ryan was having second thoughts; I could see it in his eyes. He
couldn't stand watching how close we were. I wondered if he could
tell that I knew exactly what nightmares haunted her dreams at
this moment. I knew every detail and even the exact moment she'd
"I think I'm going to go back," he said suddenly.
His face was composed but his fists were clenched. Guilt washed
over me for a second, but as usual it faded just as quickly when
I saw his eyes rest on Amber's face. My lip curled over my teeth
but he wasn't paying any attention to me. I don't think he even
cared I was watching him, as he looked angrily at my imprint
sleeping against me. Clearly he was relieved he wasn't in wolf
form and I couldn't hear what he was thinking. Not that I needed
to hear him to know.
"Kyle, do you need me?" he asked.
I growled at him causing Amber to roll over as my body shook. Her
hair fell into her face like a silk curtain. He reached forward
to brush it back but retreated at the sight of my bared teeth.
Amber turned over and it slid on to her shoulders.
He nodded stiffly, and ran like a darting bullet towards where
the pack was thanking Sam and Jacob. I felt the air shift a few
metres away as he phased. His thoughts joined mine. I pushed at
the flow, not wanting to be close to him in any way.
"You do know how harsh you are, don't you?" whispered Amber,
I rubbed my head against her cheek and gave a short snort. She
sighed with a smile. Her long hair brushed against my fur as she
wrapped her arms around my neck. I sighed as I felt her soft lips
against my head for a moment, before she gave in and fell against
"Well, as long as you know. I love you," she breathed before
falling back asleep.
Ryan didn't have the right to act as he did.His feelings for
Amber were now a mix of unexplainable anger and longing that
sickened me to the core. I know he's angry at me too but I
couldn't care less about that. All I care about is how badly I
want to tear him apart when he gives Amber that look. It mangles
her heart into a guilty mess, and I know she can't help how she
feels but I don't like it. Amber's such a caring person but some
people aren't worth caring about. Especially if they make you
feel the way she does at the mention of his name.
I'm so grateful that she's the one meant for me and I can erase
those feelings as though Ryan never got to her. If I wasn't able
to just look at her to remind her...I don't know where we'd be.
All I need to do is be there with her and she knows she has
everything. When you have everything, guilt sadness, and regret
are alien to you. They touch you for a moment before they realise
they don't belong.
He'll never leave a mark too deep for me to heal. That's more of
a fact than it is a promise. Ryan didn't like that. I'm not going
to pretend I wasn't aware of him listening in to my thoughts
rather intently. It was a long running thing between the two of
us. We both harvest things inside our heads waiting for the other
to dare to look. Everything I think pains him because Amber is
always on my mind. Everything he thinks angers me because of the
Is she asleep now? Ryan asked bluntly.
Yes. Now think of something else, I hissed at his
I could see Amber asleep on me, looking so beaten yet angelic. I
didn't need to see it in his mind too. His thoughts of her were
tainted with emotions that didn't belong in my head. When I
thought of her, I thought of loving her.
I don't blame her, he said.
Something told me he regretted those words, also that they
weren't meant for me.
Of course not- there's nothing to blame her for.
There's plenty to blame you for.
Oh shut it would you? I felt bad once upon a time and you
know it. You're the one who transformed into a monster. You can't
feel sorry for monsters.
If we weren't monsters there'd be no problem. Imprint
wouldn't be a problem.
I was referring to how you disgust me, not to how we change
into giant wolves.
He phased back joining the rest of the pack who were now in human
form, probably discussing territory and everything else.
I've admitted aloud so anyone who cares can hear that I have felt
bad for him in the past. But some people aren't worth feeling bad
for. He makes it impossible to feel bad. He loved her and claims
he still does. If he truly did I could conjure up sympathy in the
blink of an eye, but all he has is hate.
I'm so grateful I imprinted on her. He never deserved her.