With a sigh, Kyoya Ootori straightened his glasses upon the bridge of his nose and cleared his throat. "We are gathered here today," he sighed again, raising the Bible into a reading position, "to join this couple in holy matrimony...Do you, Tamaki, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do," smiled Tamiki Suoh charmingly, his blue eyes sparkling brightly as his wavy blonde hair shone in the fading lgiht of the sunset.
"And do you, Haruhi," continued Kyoya, "take this idiot to be your lawfully wedded servant?"
"No, but I'll make do with Tamaki," giggled Haruhi Fujioka, the center of attention in her flowing white dress. It was elegantly simple, but it was a perfect suit for a girl like Haruhi with kind brown eyes and beautifully adorned shoulder-length brown hair.
"Tamaki, you may kiss your bride," Kyoya muttered quickly, snapping the Bible closed.
Applause erupted from the audience as their lips met. Takashi wiped a tear from his eye as Honey flailed joyously in his chair.
Kaoru and Hikaru, the identical twins, glared up at the alter where Tamaki and Haruhi waved happily to their friends and family.
"How unfair," murmured Kaoru. "After all the trouble I went throught to get you two together."
Hikaru was silent, eyes never straying from the couple.
Then they both blinked and slowly turned to one another, an idea occuring to them simultaneously. They grinned mischievously and slinked silently away.
The members of the host club, with the exception of the twins, gathered together. They laughed and talked for a long while before heading to the reception.
"Okay, everyone!" the wedding planner clapped her hands. "It's time to cut the cake!"
Just then, the double doors flew open, rose petals floating in as if carried by a gust of wind, and a humongous, white cake with large, colorful icing roses was wheeled in. The guests were all awed by its beauty, including Haruhi.
As it rolled past the twins, Hikaru lifted his arm, then slid his hand into his pocket nonchalantly. The brothers watched it pass with a smirk and an eye closed.
The cake reached the table where Tamaki and Haruhi stood together, beaming with excitement. They picked up the knife, Tamaki's hand over his wife's.
"Wait," he said suddnely. Everyone's gaze turned to him. "Before we start, would everyone please look under your seats."
Some people gave a confused murmur as they leaned over. They chuckled and commented about the goody bugs they discovered under the chairs.
"What is this?" frowned a woman, taking out the item. "Instant...coffee?"
Tamaki grinned, "Commoner's coffee for everyone! Ha ha ha!" Haruhi shook her head with embarrassment.
"Okay, let's cut the cake already," she sighed, lowering the knife towards the cake.
"Roach!" Tamaki shrieked suddenly, flinging himself away from both the cake and his wife.
Haruhi set the knife down, and with delicate fingers, picked up the cockroach from an icing flower.
"It's fake," she announced to the disgusted groans of the guests.
"Oh, it is?" Tamaki asked, suddenly calm and curious. "But, then how did it get on the cake?"
Kaoru and Hikaru clenched their goody bags in their hands, fuming, almost comically ripping the bags.
"CAKE!" cheered Honey, leaping into the air. He landed on the cart, grabbed the top tier of the cake, and gobbled it down.
"No!" gasped Tamaki, tackling Honey to the floor. "Spit it out--the tradition! You'll ruin it!"
The boys struggled on the floor for a moment longer, then Takashi stooped to separate them and carried Honey away. Tamaki huffed, then stood.
He and Haruhi finally cut the cake and ate, and Haruhi got a faraway look in her eyes. "Mmh..." she hummed dreamily. "It's so delicious...Instant cake could never be this good."
"Instant cake?!" gasped Tamaki, dropping his plate and grabbing Haruhi by the shoulders. "Is that like instant coffee?"
Haruhi chuckled at his awed but serious expression. "Not exactly...You still have to add some ingredient to the mix before you bake it."
"...But if it's not instant, why would they call it an instant cake?" Tamaki thought aloud. Then he tossed his blond hair with a charming smile. "Commoners can really be so silly."
Haruhi raised an eyebrow.
Then a waltz began to play on the speakers, summoning couples to the dance floor.
"Haruhi, let's go!" laughed Tamaki, grabbing her wrist and leading her to the dance floor. At one moment in the dance, he twirled her outward elegantly, then brought her back in. "Haruhi," he started with surpirse, "why are you so stiff...?"
His face fell in shock at the sight of the mannequin in his arms as the twins danced by with smug faces, Haruhi between them. Tamaki indignantly chased after them, throwing the mannequin aside.
Honey finished the last of the cake while Takashi napped at the table, using his arms as a pillow. KYoya stood by the dj in the corner, speaking privately to him. then he handed the man a small disc and a roll of money and quietly walked away.
Once he got to the door, he beckoned to the twins, who let Haruhi go back into a triumphant Tamkai's clutches. HIkaru and Kaoru meandered over to him and they stepped out.
Suddenly, a screen on the far side of the room was lowered, the lights dimmed, and the music cut short.
"Haruhi," spoke a familiar voice as the screen came to life in a burst of color. Haruhi was standing in her hight school draguation robes, looking down at Tamaki, who was on one kneed. The sun began to set in the background, which Haruhi noted with a dull thought that they had been inside during the time.
"Haruhi," Tamaki said, "we've known each other for three years now. And I think that it's time we take our relationship to the next step..."
"What do you mean?" Haruhi frowned, completely clueless.
Girls crowded round suddenly with overwhelming moe, staring intently at the scene.
"Will you marry me, Haruhi?" Tamaki asked.
Haruhi blinked in surprise. "All right, who set this up?" she chuckled.
Tamaki's face fell. "No--No one...I just...Don't you want to marry me?" He turned bright red with embarrassment.
Kyoya walked by with his laptop. "You might as well say yes. Tamaki already bought everything."
"But you didn't even know for sure if I'd say yes," Haruhi sighed.
Tamaki looked down.
"But..." Haruhi sighed, placing her hand over his, "yes."
Tamaki jumped up into the air exhuberantly. "Yahoo!! Great! I'm getting married!!"
The girls surrounding them squealed with joy and moe.
"Quickly," Tamaki said, standing up straight and placing his fingertips to his forehead. "Get my fiancee ready for the wedding! Send out the invitations!"
Then the video was over, and Tamaki was bright red from the embarrassment of his proposal having been recorded.
"But I insist!" Tamaki argued, planting his palm down on the counter. "We should to Paris in the commoner's section!"
Haruhi groaned. "It's called 'coach.' And, fine, if you want to be crowded and have no privacy for hourse and hourse."
"Yes!" Tamaki grinned, giving her a thumbs-up. "I love you, Haruhi, my beautiful wife." He turned back to the unimpressed flight attendant. "Two coach tickets to Paris, France for the next available flight, please."
"Yes, sir," she sighed monotonously, typing something into the computer. "The next flight is...boarding now."
"Perfect!" Tamaki shouted. "We'll take it."
After receiving their passports, they grabbed their travel bags and headed toward the gate.
"Where are you going?" asked Kaoru, linking his arm around Tamaki's elbow.
"The plane is this way," Hikaru chimed in, taking Haruhi's hand and gently pulling her in the opposite direction.
Tamaki and Haruhi protested in confusion as the twins forced them onto a private jet.
"All right," said Kyoya. "It seems that everyone is finally here. Let's get going, shall we?"
"Yay!" cheered Honey. He shoveled another forkful of strawberry cake into his mought.
"What's going on?" demanded Haruhi, crossing her arms.
Kyoya smiled slyly. "Well, when you married Tamaki, you married the entire host club. Therefore, we are all going on a honeymoon that everyone will enjoy."
"Everyone?" Tamaki squeaked. Tears began to stream from his eyes. "Oh, Kyoya! How touching! I see now: You all love me so much that you couldn't bear to be apart from me for even one weekend."
"Actually," frowned the twins, shrugging their shoulders, "we only like Haruhi. It'll be fine if you disappeared."
Tamaki immediately sulked in the corner.
"So where are we going?" Haruhi sighed.
The twins glanced at each other devilishly, then shrugged as they turned their gaze back to her.
"You'll see," Kyoya said mysteriously.
[Several hourse later...]
The plane landed on a runway surrounded by a lush green forest.
"Here we are," the twins said in unison, stepping off, followed closely by an excited Honey and tired Takashi.
Haruhi and Tamaki's faces fell in dismay. "This..." Haruhi breathed, "is our honeymoon?"
"My family -- or should I say, I -- own a little land up here," smirked Kyoya. "Welcome to the Amazon."