Why, Kenny? Why must you die?
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First killed by, the fallen MIR station
Then exploded from intense, planetarium demonstration
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They killed you from the brown note
Through massive defecation
They even made you kill yourself
With autoerotic asphyxiation
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Dragged by the wheelchair of Timmy
Then drowned in a puddle of pee
Cut in half by Kyle
To end the cursed zombie
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Dismembered by football players
Choked by tether-ball layers
Flatened by an elevator
Electrocuted by generators
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Pummeled with a dodgeball
Crushed by a stagelight, that just so happened to fall
Crushed by a giant "seven", instead of the New Year's Ball
Even had his body ruptured, thanks to rats that crawl
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They switched his heart with a potato
And Ozzy bit off his head
Turned into a duckbilled platypus
Then shot, and ended up dead
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You even got struck by lightning
And trampled by a theater crowd
From Satan's evil goldfish
By his doing, Kenny, even was drowned
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Squashed by a cart containing underpants
Deep within the darkest mine
Even death, by Touch of Death
Why, Kenny? Why must you die?
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That's why.
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