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Fast Food Wars

Script By: DylanJH
Fan fiction



A long time ago on dinner table far far away...
The Gravy Lord and the Holy Mashed Potato are rivals, both serving the Ultimate Chicken, and now they debate matters o the dinner table Kingdom.

A quick stroy of two servants of a greater lord, debating who is greater and what they should adress next in the kingdom. A completely ad-lib MSN convo, slightly edited, that took place between Tom Smith and Dylan Harley.


Submitted:Nov 7, 2008    Reads: 172    Comments: 2    Likes: 0   


Gravy Lord: why?
The Holy Mashed Potato: to embarrass you mainly
Gravy Lord: I am above embarrassment
Gravy Lord: I am the gravy lord
The Holy Mashed Potato: Gravy is simply the beginning of the ultimate chicken seasoned with the 11 imperial herbs and spices
Gravy Lord: I know I am seeking others
Gravy Lord: there must be 11 other lords or ladies
Holy Mashed Potato: I have contact with them all, for I am the Chicken Lord's right hand man, the Holy Mashed Potato
Gravy Lord: ah I am the third the gravy
Gravy Lord: when the chicken lord calls us we shall be honoured above all
Gravy Lord: for we are but tools to his greatness
Holy Mashed Potato: And I his hand that wields you
Gravy Lord: nay
Gravy: only he wields me
Gravy Lord: I am the flavouring for his greatness
Holy Mashed Potato: You are nothing. You are simply PR. A small thing to make him look nicer and kinder and more approachable. I am the thing that works for his Honour behind the scenes, not often thought of by the public, to maintain his status. Do you remember the Brussle Sprout rebellion? It was my tactical guidance that led The Chicken Lord to victory
Gravy Lord: ahh yes but do remember when the beef lord rose it was my assimilation of his power that led the lord chicken to his place as the ultimate dish
Holy Mashed Potato: Nay, the beef lord was an imbecile, no greater than the Pepsi Sunkist alliance or the plastic fork colony
If living is a sin then I will be immortal says:
true but he had power you cannot deny that
If living is a sin then I will be immortal says:
I have stole it with my multitaste abilities
Holy Mashed Potato: his power lay not in his taste, but in his size, which with many bluffs, intimidated the Spork nation
Gravy Lord: ahh then the mighty steak knife warriors aided in his defeat might I remind you who is the only one liquidy enough to avoid them and subjugate them to the chicken lords will
Holy Mashed Potato: True, as you say, but we mustn't forget our blunders, such as when you advised the Chicken Lord to allow the Choc Pudding immigrants onto our table. Famine and crime spread across the cloth, and not even the mighty cans of 7Up dared walk the streets at night
Gravy Lord: as well as when the barbeque nations sold us their lies of their magic sauce to enhance our strength and we were abandoned in favour of the casserole mercenaries
Holy Mashed Potato: thank the chandelier heavens that the United Ketchup and Mayonnaise states were generous and swift in their defence for us
Holy Mashed Potato: the first time the two were united without quarrel
Gravy Lord: ahhhhh but we have yet to truly defeat the mustard a alliance after the ketchup left them they joined the barbeque nation
Holy Mashed Potato: Can you keep a secret
Gravy Lord: yeah
Holy Mashed Potato: The Chicken Lord and Sausage Sizzle President of the BBQ nation are planning a large attack on the mustard alliance. They have together combined an army of 2000 sporks, 1500 spoons and 500 rubber bands. The mustardians will stand no chance
Gravy Lord: ahhh but what of salt and pepper they are an always unknown quantities
Holy Mashed Potato: they wish to avoid such a quarrel, as they have enough problems with the mounting pizza forces
Holy Mashed Potato: there are rumours that Meatlovers will be sent to attack us
Gravy Lord: and the Hawaiians and pepperoni would they just watch as there companion of many meals was crushed by our might
Holy Mashed Potato: I would not be so confident if I were you, for the napkin wall is wearing thin at this time, and our Melee Popcorn chicken are almost no match for a force of Meatlovers
Holy Mashed Potato: we have sent our Tic-Tacs to mend the wall, but there may not be enough time
Gravy Lord: mm but my gravites are a perfect complements to the melee popcorn chicken
Holy Mashed Potato: true, but they are slow, and no good at hand to hand combat. The only good they will do is if they are thrown or fired with force at the attacking army. And Meatlovers are not easily defeated by gravites
Gravy Lord: mmm but the general of the past the
CURNEL has placed gravy and mashed potatoes together with great effect and I suggest we do the same
Holy Mashed Potato: I refuse. My mashed potatoes are slowed by gravy, and work best on their own. I mean no disrespect but my Mashed Potato squads are tight nit, like a family, and outsiders would not be accepted quickly
Gravy Lord: I know but think of the power that was achieved just a few units would turn the tide
Holy Mashed Potato: I am sorry, but your request is denied. I am confident that effectiveness would be decreased
Gravy Lord: mmm then we shall have to rely on the cheesecake assassins to defeat the Meatlovers leader domino
Holy Mashed Potato: domino is a pawn. Pizza the Hutt is the true mastermind behind this, do you remember the boy, Eagle, Pizza the Hutt's predecessor. He warned us of the cunningness of the Hutt and we considered him a fool. Two days later he was found dead with a piece of celery sticking out of his chest
Gravy Lord: ahh but the domino is still a powerful force that the cheese cake men shall deal with
Holy Mashed Potato: Domino need not be killed. Though with the Hutt he is dangerous, apart from him he is weak and easy to manipulate
Gravy Lord: true so we shall have to use the drumstick bazooka soldiers to truly defeat the pizzamen
Holy Mashed Potato: nay. There is one man who can truly take the Hutt out. The Green Ketchup man. True he has been inactive for many a year now, but with the right price he will definitely take the job, as he has a score to settle with the Hutt anyway
Gravy Lord: so what do we offer him that he does not have?
Holy Mashed Potato: The set of fries he was on his way to meet when his bottle was destroyed by one of the Hutt's men
Holy Mashed Potato: we reunite them
Gravy Lord: ahh I shall send my oxcube elites to escort them
Holy Mashed Potato: it will be appreciated
Gravy Lord: yes they are the best gravy soldiers besides myself and I will be busy organizing the attack against the mustard alliance
Holy Mashed Potato: excellent
Gravy Lord: we shall defeat them
Holy Mashed Potato: it is inevitable
Gravy Lord: then the great lord chicken shall ascend to the ultimate placement on the tale and we as his ever faithful side dishes
Holy Mashed Potato: Make no mistake. I am a side dish, you are PR
Gravy Lord: I can and will crush you potatoes
Holy Mashed Potato: you will try

THE END?

Holy Mashed Potato portrayed by Dylan J. Harley.
Gravy Lord portrayed by Tom P. Smith




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