I'll Never Let
Chapter One: Heart Race
"Hurry Jess! Let's go already! We
can't keep Justin waiting!" I screamed across the hotel room to
my best friend. I was completely ready for the concert and she
was still in the middle of straightening her glossy blond
"I'm coming!" she shouted back as she
applied the final coat of lip gloss. "Ok, all ready!" she smiled
nervously as she adjusted her sparkly purple dress one more time
in the mirror.
"Ok then, let's go" I shot her an
annoyed but totally friendly look as I opened the hotel room
door. We ran across the street to the arena as the doors to the
VIP entrance were opened for the short line of lucky fans that
had been forming since we arrived at the hotel."Oh my God!" I
squealed as we walked in, "This is IT!"
"Shh!" Jess put her finger to her lips as we were led through a
brightly lit hallway, "I hear something!" My eyes widened as I
heard the sweet soulful notes of One Less Lonely Girl drifting
from the opposite side of the building. A high pitched squeal
escaped my mouth before Jess could slap her expertly manicured
hand in front of it. "Shut up! We can't look like idiots!" she
said angrily before breaking into a giggle.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it!" I
laughed before turning in the direction of multiple gasps. I
realized the music had been replaced by whispering and camera
flashes, and for a good reason...
Two: Start of Something True
There he was. The center of our world for the past 9 months, the
reason we woke in the morning, the reason we breathed. Justin
Drew Bieber was standing 10 feet away from me, and all I could do
was stare. He was gorgeous, more gorgeous then I'd even imagined
he would be. He was wearing a purple plaid button-up with gray
skinny jeans tucked roughly into white Supra high tops. His brown
eyes sparkled, and his smile was blindingly white. And his
hair...oh my God his hair! Perfectly coifed, chestnut brown, each
strand lying in exactly the right place. I eventually snapped out
of my daze and elbowed Jess in the side. She didn't
"Jess? You okay?" I smiled a little
bit before realizing Justin was getting closer to us.
"Yeah, I'm good" she smiled
sheepishly before handing Justin a piece of paper for him to
He looked at her for a moment,
smiled, and said "Hey babe, hope you have a good time tonight!"
Jess squealed a little bit and gave him a hug before taking a
picture with her bedazzled iPhone that I'm sure she was planning
on sending the entire 10th grade class. Then it was my turn. I
pulled out a light purple sheet of paper and smiled while he
Then he looked into my eyes and said
the words I'd always dreamed I'd hear..."Wow you're gorgeous". I
was stunned, but quickly returned his complement with a "thank
you", a smile, and the best hug I've ever received. Then we were
led to our front row seats and left to replay the previous
Something About the Eyes
The concert started, I took in every
moment with a deep breath, a huge smile, and several tears of
joy. This was most definitely the best day of my entire life, he
was more than I ever expected, the most perfect boy on the entire
planet. When "One Less Lonely Girl" began playing, I looked
around, hoping to be plucked from the crowd and sung to, but no
such luck. A scrawny blond from the back of our section was
chosen, and she showed little emotion or gratitude, but I didn't
seem to care, which suprised both Jess and myself.
By the end of the concert, when the
confetti dropped along with a few more tears, I took a deep
breath and said only "Wow". Jess looked at me with a shy smile
and said "I know". We began to walk out of our row just as I was
tapped on my shoulder. I froze. Who could it be? Justin? No, he'd
get mobbed if he showed his face anywhere but on the stage. I
turned around and gasped. It was none other than Scooter freaking
Braun. I smiled and offered a cheerful yet somewhat quiet "Hi"
before grabbing Jess's arm out of astonishment.
"Hi," he said, "I'm Scooter..."
"We know who you are!" we giggled.
"Oh okay," he laughed a little bit, even though he was obviously
freaked out, "Well, Justin remembered you from the pre-show and
wanted to meet you...something about 'your eyes'" he quoted with
"Really?" we elbowed each other as our mouths dropped open.
"Well, just you, actually," he pointed to me. My eyes
"Really?" I couldn't believe it.
JUSTIN BIEBER LIKED ME! "Are you ok with that?" I turned to Jess
and was suprised to see her smiling bigger than myself.
"Yes, go!" she hugged me, "Good
"Ok cool," Scooter patted me on the
back, "Right this way..."
Chapter 3: First Night
He led me down the same hallway I'd
been to before, all the way up to a door with a white printed
sign that said simply "JB" on it. He knocked and opened
"Oh there you are," Justin got up
from a white leather couch in the corner, "Hi, did you have a
good time?" He hugged me once again before executing his hair
flip perfectly. I took another deep breath.
"Oh yeah," I smiled, "You were
amazing!" He offered me a seat in a chair across from him.
"Aw thank you," he flashed his
gorgeous smile, "You want a drink?" He motioned to a (purple)
mini fridge in another corner.
"Um, sure" I giggled shyly.
"We've got everything," he told me as
he opened it,"
"A diet coke will be fine," I
realized how hot it felt in there.
"Diet Coke?" He looked at me,
confused, "Why do you need a DIET Coke?" I blushed, realizing he
was trying to complement me. He smiled and said "I'm just
kidding" as he handed me the drink, somehow opening it with just
"So, the reason why I asked you back
here is," OHMIGOD here it comes! "Well, I just thought you were
really gorgeous and I wanted to talk to you." I blushed again,
trying to hide it as I took a sip of my soda."So what kinds of
stuff do you like, what kind of girl are you?" he asked with his
adorable Canadian accent. And that was it, we talked for 2 hours,
and could've for 2 more except that Scooter knocked and said it
was time to go back to the hotel. I was immediately disappointed.
I wanted more time, more time to show him I was THE ONE! He got
up and hugged me before grabbing a pen and writing his phone
number on my hand.
"Don't lose that!" he giggled,
"What's yours?" I wrote it on his hand very willingly, probably
more willingly then necessary. "Next time I'm in town I'll give
you a call, I'd like to take you out sometime, if that's all
My jaw dropped a little, but I
recovered with a somewhat sane response, "I'd love to," he hugged
me tight and led me out the back entrance all the way to my hotel
"I had an amazing time with you
tonight," he shook his hair.
"Me too" I stared into his brown eyes
for a whole 2 seconds before managing a quiet "Goodbye" and
turning towards the door. "
Wait," he grabbed my arm and kissed
me firmly on the cheek. "I can't leave you. Come with me" he
grabbed my hand, interlocking his strong fingers around
"Whatever you say!" I laughed as I
kissed him back, this time on the lips, before kicking off my
high heels in front of my room, and letting him pick me up and
carry me back down into the lobby.
He's Really Mine
When we got back to Justin's hotel
room, we talked. I sat on his lap, sneaking in a kiss here and
there, but mostly we talked. We talked about life, what it means
to find your soul mate, and we talked about us. Would we ever be
a real couple? Could it work between us? Justin was convinced
that yes, we could be a couple. We talked until 3 in the morning,
when I finally fell asleep in his arms.
When Kenny came in the next morning, I assumed Justin's burly
bodyguard was suprised to see us laying there, Justin still
wearing his leather jacket, jeans, and Supras, and I barefooted
and in a little black dress. But Kenny woke us both up
"Morning guys, time for breakfast!"
He looked at me, "I don't think we've met," he shook my hand as I
saw Justin change shirts in my perepheral vision (holy
"Oh, I'm Mandy, nice to meet
"The pleasure is all mine," he
I quickly sent Mandy a text saying
"Srry I didnt make it bck 2 the hotel room lst nite, sum stuff
happend w/ JB! Dnt lve w/out me!" and was delighted to receive an
"OMGEE!" text within seconds. Once Justin was ready, he escorted
me down the lobby where we ate breakfast in mostly silence,
because we were too busy staring into each other's eyes. When we
were done, Justin handed me his iPhone and directed me to enter
all my contact information. I did, and then we took pictures of
"So, I've been thinking..." he slid his arm around my waist, and
'elsewhere south of there', "I think this can work."
"You do?" I raised a perfectly arched
brow at Justin but smiled calmly anyways.
"I'll call you every night, and when
my tour's over, we can be a real couple! I'll fly you out as much
as possible, and I'll even come see you!" He kissed me on the
cheek, "You're incredible, I'll never let you go," I blushed at
the thought of Justin Bieber quoting one of his own song lyrics
to me. I was so lucky.
"Ok" I said shyly wrapping my arms
around his neck. He smiled and picked me up. As I slid my tan
legs around his body, he kissed me (With tongue I might add...)
and continued this incredible act all the way back to my hotel in
his limo. When I arrived, Jess was standing there, looking
confused. Justin got out of the limo, completely cool and aware
of the mob about to form, and opened my door.
He kissed me again on the cheek and
said "Talk to you tomorrow, babe". I hugged him back, trying to
take it all in… his lips on mine, the warm feeling of the leather
of his jacket on my arms, and all the eyes of jealous girls now
on me. This was it. I couldn't believe it...Justin Bieber was
Tonight's Gonna be a Good Night
What's Mandy Thinking?
Oh my God...I can't believe this! I'm going on a
DATE with Justin Bieber! AHH!! The first thought that crosses my
mind is, what the HECK am I gonna wear? I know Justin said he
wants a girl to wear "whatever's comfortable" but c'mon, that's
total BS! He wants his girlfriend to look AMAZING, hot even. So I
pulled out all the stops and I'm actually pretty impressed with
I'm so nervous. This girl is gorgeous, her eyes
are the bluest eyes I've ever seen. What am I supposed to wear? I
swear she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen (besides
Beyonce...and Taylor Swift...and Megan Fox...and my mom (; well…
maybe not Taylor Swift...well then again… never mind...)and I
can't look AVERAGE, I have to look GOOD, maybe even GREAT.
Ok, hold up, Caitlin's calling...wow she's so needy, no wonder I
Back to Real
"There he is!" I gasped and turned towards Jess one last time,
"You sure I look okay?"
"Uh duh Mandy, you're going out with the SEXIEST man alive. I
don't care what People magazine says, Johnny Depp is NOT EVEN
HOT! But anyways, of course you look good, you looked good at the
concert, you look good now, and JOHNNY DEPP IS SO FREAKING UGLY!"
she yelled a bit too loudly at...no one. Then the doorbell rang. I hugged Jess and walked
casually to the door, quickly unlocked it, and opened it. AND
HOLY CRAP HE LOOKED HOT. Way hotter than Johnny Depp I might add.
(Purely for Jess's benefit of course!)
"Wow, you are so much more beautiful then I remembered," Justin's
mouth opened a bit wider, I took great pride in that!
"You don't look too bad yourself," I said sweetly as I adjusted
his collar, just for the sake of smelling him a little more. (OMG
he smells like freaking heaven, I might add :)
"Aw, you're so..." he blushed.
"What?" I asked innocently.
"Hot!" he blurted out, but quickly
recovered with a smooth, "It's kinda HOT in here" breaking into a
laugh about halfway through. I began walking out the door and
smiled back into his eyes the second he grabbed my hand again.
Wow, I missed that hand.
"So where to first?" I batted my
eyelashes once before noticing the car we were headed towards.
(HIS RANGE ROVER...No Big Deal!)
"Um, well..." he opened the door for
me, "I was thinking Paris." My jaw dropped instantly,
"Boy with the perfect hair and the
sexy high top Supras say WHAT?"
He laughed, but then looked more
serious, "I'm not kidding, wanna come to Paris with me? Please
don't say no, I already made reservations!"
"Um yeah, I think I could do Paris," I took a deep breath as I
waited for him to get in the driver's seat. He looked really hot
in the driver's seat. :)
"So first stop, Atlanta airport! Next stop," he paused as he
turned the key in the ignition, "PARIS!" he leaned across the car
and kissed me on the cheek before (sexily of course!) pulling out
of the driveway of my hotel he had booked for me and Jess. "Ready
for the night of your life babe?" he took my hand and squeezed in
I smiled back and responded with a
calm-on-outside but freaking-out-on-the-inside "As ready as I'll
Chapter Six: That
Could've Been Me
At the Atlanta
"I just can't believe you're taking me to Paris.
Isn't that more of a third date?" I giggled and squeezed Justin's
"Mandy, with you it feels like we've been on a thousand dates. I
just couldn't take you out on just any date. You deserve more,"
he smiled as he squeezed back.
"Um, Justin, why is there a random
guy taking pictures of us?" I asked curiously.
"Oh shit," he mumbled under his
breath as he grabbed my hand tighter, "Damn papparazzi! Follow
me, babe!" He led me around a few corners and until we ran into a
"Did we lose him?" I peeked out the
"I think so" he put a hand on my
back, I froze.
"Ok, good" I smiled and let out a
sigh of relief before opening the door. We waited around for a
good 30 minutes more until we heard our flight announcement, and
then headed towards the terminal. But not before we heard a loud
"OH MY GOD IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER!" coming from behind us.
Within seconds we were being mobbed,
luckily Kenny, Pattie, and Scooter had arrived minutes earlier to
accompany us on our trip and tried to help control the crowd.
Justin was still holding onto my hand while trying to sign a few
autographs before Kenny whispered that it was time to go and
Justin tried to escape the crowd. But it was no use, the crowd
had grown to hundreds of girls and photographers. Scooter told
Justin that he would take care of me and began leading me away
before Justin finally lost it.
He yelled over the screaming to
Scooter "No she's staying with me!" and put his arm completely
around me. "It's gonna be okay, baby" he whispered into my ear.
We finally made a run for it and made it onto the airplane just
in time. Justin let me sit in the window seat and quietly pulled
out a blanket out from his carry on bag. "You cold?" he kissed me
on the cheek," I'm sorry about that." I took the blanket and
smiled a bit.
"It's okay, a year ago that could've
been me." I confessed innocently. He grabbed my hand and laced
his strong fingers through mine.
"Let's get some sleep, tomorrow's
gonna be crazy." He kissed again, this time on the lips, and
that's when I realized he had raised up the armrest between our
seats and had both his arms completely around me. At that time,
only one thought was running through my head...Oh Shit.
Most Famous Popstar In the World
At the Paris
we landed, both Justin and I awoke. I realized his arms were
still completely around me and smiled to myself. As we walked out
of the terminal, I noticed Justin had configured a makeshift
disguise to try and hide from the mobs sure to ensue. He had
pulled a blue knit hat all the way over his signature brown hair
and was now putting on black Ray Ban wayfarers. With Kenny in the
front, Scooter in the back, Pattie beside us, and Justin's arm
around me, I felt safe. But that feeling didn't last long before
another crowd began to form.
Kenny tried to push the girls away
screaming out things like "Just leave him alone!" and Justin was
just trying to ignore the girls.
All of sudden, however, I was being
tugged on and sure enough, I was pulled onto the floor. I heard
Justin yell an angry "You've got to be kidding me!" He tried to
run back, but girls had already surrounded him. Scooter came
running and picked me off the ground just as Justin and the mob
turned the corner.
"That was…eventful," I smiled. He patted me on the back and
"You okay?" he gave me a once-over trying to determine the answer
"Yup" I said, "Thanks."
"No problem" he responded calmly," You're dating the most famous
pop star in the world, this is gonna happen a few times, but if
anything happened to you, he'd be pissed."
I smiled to myself, "Good to know…" We walked outside the doors
of the airport and Scooter led me to a black Escalade. A few
girls still lingered around, but when Scooter rolled his eyes and
yelled "Just go away! most of them scattered. He held the back
door open for me and I climbed in, sitting right next to
"Babe you okay? I tried to come help you, but I was kinda
He grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him, "Yeah I'm fine," I
replied weakly. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head
against his chest. He began running his fingers up and down my
arms, which gave me goose bumps and put me to sleep all at the
Chapter 8: Are You
Sure You're Not Perfect?
"So this is your room," Pattie opened
the hotel room marked 507 with her key card, "Justin will be
staying in 508, right next door, and I'll be across the hall in
523, if you need anything."
"Thanks Ms. Mallette!" I smiled.
"Please, call me Pattie," she patted me on the back, "Justin's
about to take a shower, so he'll be back soon."
"Ok thank you!" I lied down on the bed and turned up the volume
of "Half of My Heart" by John Mayer on my second generation
"I hope you're sure about this girl, Justin," Pattie Mallette
looked at her son sternly.
"I am." Justin replied matter-of-factly.
"Justin, I'm not sure if it's fair to bring a girl into your
situation. What happened today could happen again. What if Mandy
doesn't want death threats?"
Justin laughed to himself, "I've never felt the way I do for her
before, not even with Caitlin." Pattie was surprised, in just two
face-to-face meetings with this girl, was he already in love with
"I just think you should make sure she's okay with the mobs, and
the hoardes of screaming girls. You have to protect her, you
"Yeah I know. And Mom, I lo-I mean I like Mandy a lot."
"You love her?" Pattie raised an eyebrow.
"Yes." He took a deep breath hoping she wouldn't yell. She walked
over and kissed him on the cheek and began to leave the
"Well, I think you know who you should be telling that to, and
it's definitely not me, she smiled, " Don't waste time, Justin,
your reservations are at 7 and it's already 5:30!" she closed the
door firmly behind her.
I jumped up quickly as soon as I heard the knock on the door. I
opened the door, happy it was Justin.
"Come in!" I smiled as he came in and
sat on the bed I had been laying on. I sat next to him quickly,
feeling anxious as to why he was here.
"Mandy, I need to talk to you about something." He looked
straight into my blue eyes and continued, "I'm really sorry again
about today at the airport, but I have to warn you, if you date
me, it's probably going to happen again," he laughed, causing me
to breathe a little easier, "If we wanna hold hands in public,
it'll be in People, if I wanna kiss you it'll be the cover story
of Tiger Beat. It's not going to be easy, but I think if you feel
the same way about me that I do about you, we can make it." I
sighed, knowing what I had to say.
"I have never felt the way I do about you before, you're
absolutely amazing and every second I spend with you are the best
seconds of my life. I'll take a few death threats here and there
if it means I get to date the most perfect man in the world."
Justin blushed, which made me giggle a little bit.
"I'm not perfect," he said modestly.
"Are you sure about that?" I laughed and he put both arms around
me again and leaned back onto the bed, pulling my body closer to
his. I felt his heart beating even faster than mine. He turned me
around to face him and then his lips were touching mine.
Fireworks went off all around us, or so it seemed, and our bodies
moved together in perfect harmony. I realized what was happening
and stopped kissing him immediately.
Laughing a little and putting a finger to his lips I whispered,
"Not now." He giggled and picked me up, spinning me around. He
kissed me again on the lips.
"Meet in the hallway at 6:30, our reservations are at 7:00." He
pulled me close again and whispered in my ear, "I love you." It
felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, all of a sudden I
was dizzy. But I found the courage to say the six words I'd
always wanted to say ever since the day I first heard him say
'Shawty' in One Less Lonely Girl. I realized I was in the place
me and 4 million other girls had always wanted to be in and then
the words came easier.
"I love you too Justin Bieber." He smiled, his tongue in my mouth
once again, and then he was gone, taking the sparks and the
accelerated heartbeat with him, and I knew I meant every word I'd
Chapter Ten: Sparks
Justin knocked on my door just as I
was putting the finishing touches on my outfit. My long brown
hair had been curled and was now cascading down my shoulders, and
I had changed into a different dress that Pattie had dropped off
in my room with a smile and a sweet, "You might want something a
little fancier for this date!"
The dress was stunning, cut a little
above my knees, it was purple, with a black sash and silver
detailing all throughout. I dabbed on a touch more lip gloss,
took a deep breath, and opened the door. Instead of a traditional
"hello" or "good to see you", I was greeted with a stunned, "Damn
you're gorgeous" and then my eyes adjusted. Standing in front of
me was the most attractive boy I'd ever seen. And he just said I
WAS GORGEOUS. Justin was wearing (TIGHT) khaki skinnies tucked
into black high tops. He paired that with a black button down and
a bow tie. He looked at me again, shook his hair. And I realized
how deeply in love I'd fallen with him. He took my arm, linked it
through his, kissed me delicately on the cheek and suprised me by
pulling a Miley and Liam and picking me up. He kissed me, softly
and lightly at first, but then more passionately. I put a finger
to his lucious lips and reminded him of our reservations.
"Right," he said, straightening his
tie and standing up a little straighter. "Right this way," he led
me down through the lobby of our hotel, and across the street, my
silver heels clicked loudly every step, but Justin didn't seem to
care. We walked for a few minutes, holding hands as we crossed
every street, before I saw where we were headed. I squeezed
Justin's hand a little tighter, realizing he was truly the best
boyfriend ever, and kissed him more passionately than I ever had
before. Our lips felt like they were made for each other's, and
our tongues were on fire. The sparks flying between us were
enough to make me faint. But we stopped within minutes and
continued walking through the glittering lights of Paris.
Chapter 11: What
Happened to Happily Ever After?
Of course, I should've known, of all the places in Paris, this is
where he would take me. I grabbed his arm a little tighter, my
jaw dropped a little and my heart pounded faster.
"Wow," I smiled, kissing him on the
"So you like it?" he kissed my
forehead hopefully in return.
"Like it? Are you kidding? The most
gorgeous boy in the world brought me to Paris, and is now
standing next to me in front of the Eiffel Tower, I absolutely
love it!" I let him pick me up again, and I said as I slid my
legs around him, "And I love you."
We walked in and up to our restaurant, where we were guided
quickly to a table set discreetly in a candlelit corner. I opened
the menu and gasped a little bit, "8 oz Filet Mignon- $78.90".
I'd never actually been to this kind of restaurant, and while I
was flattered this was where Justin wanted to take me, I couldn't
shake the feeling that maybe I just didn't deserve this...any of
But the second I began to protest the
prices, the expensive dress, the luxury hotel, and the first
class airplane tickets, Justin grabbed my right (perfectly
manicured, i might add) hand and slipped a gorgeous diamond ring
on it. Smiling, he said nothing. I lost my breath for a second,
before realizing that it was my RIGHT hand, and that it was
probably just meant to be a promise ring.
But the size of the diamond and the
beauty of the ring itself caused a loss of words that lasted for
approximately 1 minute.
"Justin, you didn't...why did you..what are you trying to?" was
all I could manage after staring at the beautiful heart shaped
ring for another 30 seconds.
"Mandy, I love you." was all he said,
leaning across the table ever so smoothly, moving a ringlet of my
hair from my face, and of course...sealing it with a kiss. Right
then, our waitress walked up and politely tapped Justin on the
"Um, Mr. Bieber," she smiled as she
glanced at her notes, obviously realizing who she was about to
serve, "Am I interrupting something?" I blushed, but Justin
simply straightened his tie and shook his hair.
"No, not anymore," he smiled at her
warmly, and then at me again.
"Ok well, my name is Kim, and I'll be
your server tonight. If you need anything, don't hesitate to
ask." She smiled and tucked a strand of her shiny blond hair
behind her ear.
"Thank you," I smiled in reply to her
Then, Justin cleared his throat and
began giving his order, "So I'll be having the..."
"That was incredible," I kissed Justin on the cheek again as we
walked out in the street in front of the Eiffel Tower. "Thank you
so much for tonight," he picked me up and spun me around before
placing me down gently in front of him.
He looked at me for a second and just
smiled. Just then, I turned around to see a car's bright
headlights piercing my vision.
"MANDY!" Justin screamed just as I
heard tires squeal.
Then everything went black.
When Will This Be Over?
doctors don't know what's going to happen. They keep saying, "Now
we wait." But they don't understand. I don't - I can't wait. I
can't wait for the first girl I've ever been in love with to wake
up. They also say she might not wake up. What happens then? I am
blind to all emotions, except shock, right now. I look at her and
I do not see Mandy. I see what once was a beautiful girl, but is
now just a girl with brown hair and a broken body. So broken,
that they say she might never walk again. I shouldn't have to go
through this again. Not after what happened with Caitlin. But
here I am, at a hospital, in France nonetheless, staring at my
favorite girl, lying in a hospital bed surrounded by wires, and
noises, and fluids, and a monitor that beeps once more every
second my girlfriend keeps breathing. The girl that was once so
strong and fearless has now been transformed into a weak,
helpless person. A person I don't recognize, a person I don't
WANT to recognize. And there's so much
crying. Her parents, her best friend, Jess, even her grandfather
have all come, looked her once, cried, and then left. Right now,
it's only me. I hold her hand, her lifeless, bony, white hand,
and wait. I wait for something - anything to happen. I stare at
her eyes that are swollen shut, waiting for them to open so I can
see the eyes I once fell in love with.
scared, more scared of anything ever before. I'm scared to lose
her, and to face my fans, my friends, and my family again, but
this time without Mandy. The name hurts to say. But I do
matter the bruises, the stitches, the cuts, the bandages, she's
still beautiful. Her face is still so angelic. I want to kiss
her, but the cuts and swelling of her lips prevent me from doing
want to go back to four days ago, when I saw the car, the car
that would essentially change my life, possibly forever. Why
couldn't it have been me? That should've been me. I would give it
all to have her back.
you want anything to drink honey?" my mom looked at me, and then
Mandy, but she smiled anyways. "No." I answered
coldly, trying to keep the tears in for a fourth straight
well the doctor's coming in a moment," she patted me on the back,
"It's gonna be okay," she whispered. I nodded my head in
silence, and stood up, "I hope so." I sat down in the bed next to
her, I wasn't sure if I was allowed, but I honestly didn't care.
The second my mom left the room, I put both arms around her
lifeless body, and gently hugged her close, kissing her bruised
neck lightly, before seeing Dr. Hastings appear in the doorway. I
got up quickly and opened the door for him, trying to show from
my expression that nothing had changed for the best, or for the
she?" he asked in a thick French
accent."No change," I mumbled as I glanced at myself in
the mirror. I was still wearing the same clothes from our date,
my hair didn't look its best, and my eyes were rimmed with black
circles due to the six hours of sleep I had managed since we got
well, I do have some news," the doctor said firmly and
emotionless. "Yeah...what?" I
asked hopefully, before burying my face in my
finally stable, and we are expecting her to wake any hour. But
you should know…" he paused."What?" I stood up
again and walked closer to Mandy's bed.
have some brain damage." he stopped and began
pacing. What do you mean, brain damage?" I walked closer
to her heart monitor, thankful it was still
is a change she might not remember some things, or a n y t h i n
g." Those words tumbled out like vomit. I
it's actually fairly unlikely, so just keep praying." he patted
me on the back, "With a little luck, she'll be recovered enough
to go home within 3 weeks, and could resume walking by the end of
the year." "End of the year?" I
replied, scared once more. "But it's January..."
for an accident of this degree, she's lucky she survived. Eleven
months would be considered somewhat remarkable. But she's a
trooper, and I believe she will make it through." I breathed a
sigh of relief as he walked out once more.
"Justin?" a weak voice said and I turned around.
It couldn't be, could it?
God, Mandy, thank God!" I ran over to her bed and when I saw her
eyes again, I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. I hugged
her tight, and kissed her everywhere, and finally on her lips.
"Ow," she mumbled, but she was giggling
too."Oh I'm sorry baby," I ran my fingers through her
now straight hair.
keep going, that's a good kind of pain," she leaned up a little.
So I kissed her back, careful of her numerous injuries and I let
a few tears out, just a few. Thank God she was back, and
everything was going to be fine. Then my mom appeared in the
doorway, still looking kind of sad. "Mom, she's awake!"
I smiled as she walked in. But instead of smiling back, she
simply stared into space, tears forming in her
there's been a...there's been another accident."
Never Turns Out Like You Want
My eyes fluttered open, and I looked around for a moment. Where
was I? Oh...right. I was lying in a hospital bed, because I got
hit by a car. Memories came flooding back. So did a terrible
headache. I then realized, I couldn't move my legs, or much else
for that matter. But then I saw Justin, and all negative thoughts
were pushed out of my head. He looked concern, black circles
around his eyes, and I wondered how long I'd been asleep.
"Justin?" I finally mangaged my favorite word.
"Oh my God, Mandy, thank God!" He ran over to my bed, and began
kissing me. Everything would be alright, I realized. Even if I
never walked again, never saw the outside world again. I could
live happily as long as Justin was there.
"Ow," I said giggling as he hugged me tight.
"Oh I'm sorry baby," I realized then he had been crying, over ME.
My near-death experience made JUSTIN BIEBER CRY.
"No, keep going, that's a good kind of pain," I kissed him back
and feeling his touch again made everything dissapear. Then I saw
Pattie in the doorway, looking concerned.
"Mom, she's awake!" Justin hugged me even tighter before kissing
my bruised and battered forehead.
"Justin, there's been a...there's been another accident." she
stood there solemnly, a tear falling from her eye.
"Huh?" I froze. No, what could've happened? After all Justin had
been through the past...however many days...and this is how he
was rewarded. I could feel Justin tense up from the inside out as
he slowly asked what had happened.
"It's Grandpa..." she put her purse down and walked a little
closer, "He had a heart attack."
Oh shit. I thought. Justin didn't deserve this. THE GREATEST GUY
on the planet did NOT deserve for his girlfriend and grandpa to
end up in the hospital IN THE SAME WEEK.
"Oh my God." Justin froze up next to me, but held on to me for
support. "Where is he? What's gonna happen?"
"He's in Stratford, in the hospital. They don't know if he's
gonna...make it." Another tear fell onto her cheek.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry...don't worry about me Justin, you can go,"
I reassured him with a tender kiss on his cheek and I grabbed his
hand and laced my fingers through his.
"No, I can't leave you here, Mandy. Mom, you can go and I'll
stay. Call me when you know something."
"Don't be stupid Justin, I'm obviously going to be fine. Go see
your grandpa, he's much more important." I squeezed his hand.
Pattie smiled sadly at me before sitting down in a chair next to
"If I go, you're coming with me." he said matter-of-factly.
"Am I allowed?" I glanced back at Justin and saw a tear roll down
his cheek, he wiped it away without saying a word.
"Yes, I believe you would be, but are you really in the condition
to travel?" Pattie said thoughtfully.
"I don't care, as long as I'm with...him." I hugged Justin
tighter, knowing I never wanted to let go.
Every bone in my body ached, but I knew what I had to do.
"Justin, I'm going with you." I sat up and began getting out of
the bed, but once I tried standing, I realized I couldn't hold
much weight. Oh crap, I thought to myself, and I grabbed on to a
nearby chair for support. But before I could sit down, Justin was
across the room, his arm entirely around my waist. He put my arm
around his shoulder, and helped me back to the edge of the
"Mandy, you can't walk." he stated the obvious with a kiss on my
"I don't care!" I said a bit too loudly. "I'm going with you
baby, you need me and I need you...obviously," I giggled. Just
then a nurse came in.
"Oh good, you're awake!" she smiled.
"Yeah happy, happy, joy, joy...now I need to leave. So can you
just get me some discharge papers and a wheelchair and I'll be
out of here in no time."
"Um, may I ask why you need to leave?"
"My boyfriend's grandpa had a heart attack...he lives in
"Oh I do see the urgency of the situation, I guess. Well, this is
a against doctor's advisories." she frowned.
"I don't care." I stood up with the help of Justin once again,
"I'm gonna need to leave...TODAY."
"Ok then, I'll be back with the papers in a moment."I smiled
triumphantly before asking Justin to help me to the bathroom so I
could change clothes. He did so by cradling me in his arms and
shutting the door behind me. I sat on the potty and looked at my
reflection. I looked like crap...of course.
But I found an eyeliner pencil under
the sink, as well as some mascara and did what I could without
standing much. Then I messed with my straight brown hair, pulling
into a messy bun. Finally I pulled on a purple t-shirt, skinny
jeans, and some black Converse. I looked pretty damn good for a
girl who'd almost just died, and when I managed to open the door
Justin smiled. He put his arm around me again and helped me back
to the bed before whispering "I love you" into my ear.
"Here's your discharge papers, ma'am. And here's a wheelchair,
good luck with your recovery, I suggest once you're back in the
states, you get some therapy so you regain full strength." She
"Yeah, of course. Thank you!" I smiled as I signed the papers. I
handed them to Pattie and she delivered them quickly to the front
"So, do we have a way to get home?" I asked, smiling when I
realized I had just referred to Canada as "Home".
"Yes, actually. I had Scooter charter us a private plane." Pattie
smiled. I suggest you both sleep on the way, you're going to need
your strength." She patted me on the back. "I guess we can go
"Right," I said, pulling the wheelchair closer to the bed I was
sitting on. But before I could figure out a way to get into it,
Justin picked me up, and sat me in it. He then pulled out a
ring...my ring, and slid it back onto my finger. Then he bent
down and hugged me for a very long time. I realized he was
crying, and a lump formed in my throat.
I knew how much his grandpa meant to
him, and I hated seeing him like this. I finally put my arms
completely around him, kissing his neck.
But then I realized he had picked me
up, and had left the wheelchair behind. We walked all the way to
the elevator, back through the lobby, and into a waiting limo. I
realized how tired he was, and suggested he sleep on the way to
the airport. I sat up straight and laid his head in my
I ran my fingers through his hair,
whispering things like "I love you," and "Everything's going to
be fine," as we were driven. By the time we arrived in Canada, he
was well rested, but still a little weary. I knew he was sad and
scared, and I used every chance I got to kiss him, or just to
hold his hand. I knew these were the moments I had to be there
There's Never Time to Say Goodbye
When we pulled into the Stratford
Hospital parking lot, I kissed Justin on the forehead.
"Time to wake up baby, we're
He smiled before opening his eyes.
Then he grabbed his hoodie from the floorboard and came around
the other side of the car. He opened the door and helped me out
of the car before scooping me up into his strong arms. We walked
through the revolving doors of the hospital, and to the elevator.
But before the doors opened I managed to squirm out of Justin's
arms at another attempt at standing on my own.
"What are you doing?" he laughed a
little bit before putting his arm around my shoulders, I realized
then I could almost walk on my own, but let him continue to think
I couldn't. When we arrived at the right floor, I kissed Justin
again, knowing how scared I would be if I were him right now.
Pattie knocked on room 507 and Justin's grandma opened the door,
smiling sadly at the three of us.
"Oh, and who is this?" she looked at
me as friendly as any 70 year old lady would when their husband
"Um, grandma, this is
my...girlfriend, Mandy." he grabbed my hand, intertwining our
fingers, and put his army back around my shoulders.
"Oh hi sweetie, what happened to
you?" she frowned, looking me up and down, seeing all the cuts
and bruises, and realizing I couldn't exactly walk by
"Um...I got hit by a car, in Paris."
I laughed a little at how it sounded coming from my mouth.
"Oh dear!" she gasped, "Are you going
to be okay?"
"Yeah, Grandma, she's going to be
"Well, that's good I guess. And do
come in." she opened the door. I saw an old man lying in a bed,
with wires connected to him, there was a beep every few seconds,
and his eyes were shut, possibly to never open again.
Pattie went over immediately and
began talking to this lifeless figure I now knew as my
boyfriend's grandpa, but Justin stayed off to the side. I noticed
now I was supporting him just as much or more then he had been
supporting me, so I walked over to a chair to show him I had
regained the ability to do so. According to the doctor's
predictions, this was remarkable in itself.
I guided Justin over, and made him
sit down beside me, and put both my arms around him. Instantly,
his body relaxed a little in the comfort of my arms, and a little
life returned to his gorgeous brown eyes.
"Are you okay?" I whispered in his
ear. I assumed he'd say yes, for the benefit of, if nothing else,
But suprisingly, and honestly I guess
too, he said, "Actually...no. Thank you for coming, though." And
he kissed me on my forehead.
"I never considered otherwise," I
hugged him back. Right then, Pattie walked over, sadness written
all over her face.
"Justin, I think it's…" she trailed
off, gathering the strength to say the words I knew she didn't
want tosay, "I think it's time to say goodbye." She started
crying, and Justin stood up, hugging her and crying a little bit
with her. Then, he looked back at me.
"I'll be right back," he walked over
and started talking to his grandfather, carrying on an extremely
one-sided conversation like some people do when they're talking
to people about to die. He then leaned over and kissed his
grandpa on his forehead and then hugged his grandma.
Pattie joined them, and all of a
sudden I felt very out of place, so I showed myself out, and sat
on the floor outside their door. I heard a continuous beep begin,
and I knew what had happened. I heard Pattie start crying even
more, and then a doctor rushed in.
The beeping stopped, but the crying
didn't. So, I dug around in my pocket for some cash, and hobbled
over to a nearby vending machine. Smiling to myself, I hit D3 for
a bag of Sour Patch Kids, and J9 for a Sprite, because I knew
they were Justin's favorites. I returned to my spot by the door
and waited for Justin to emerge. When he did, I handed him the
candy and soda in silence. I saw a couple of tears on his soft
cheeks, and wiped them away with my hand, but a few more fell
He set the snacks down by his feet,
and hugged me, his tears falling into my hair. I breathed into
his hoodie deeply, and I could feel him becoming weaker as the
seconds passed. He looked so sad, and I could hardly keep from
crying with him. But I knew I needed to be the strong one right
Chapter Fifteen: Give
Me One Last Hug
"I love you," I whispered as we stood
there, in silence, but completely in tune with each other. Then,
his eyes closed, and his weight collapsed on top of me. But I
didn't let go. I held him, let him sleep in my arms. Finally,
Pattie came out too, and rubbed his back until he woke again. We
all walked back down to the car, leaving Justin's grandma behind
to take care of funeral arrangements, and Justin and I held hands
all the way back to their old house, our hotel for the
When we walked in, Pattie showed me
to my bedroom, as it was late and we all needed sleep. She handed
me some of her pajamas for me to use, and I thanked her with a
hug. I curled up in my bed at exactly 11:14 PM, but sleep
wouldn't come. I realized I hadn't said goodnight to Justin yet,
so I tiptoed down the hall to his bedroom. A light was still on,
so I knocked quietly.
"Yeah?" he said hoarsely, knowing he
had probably been crying, I opened the door, and without a word,
snuggled up next to him. He wrapped his arms around me, and as we
fell asleep, I felt a few more tears disappear into my hair, but
I just held his hand, squeezing it to reassure him I was still
After a few moments, when neither of
us had fallen asleep I began to quietly sing.
"They say that hate has been sent so
let loose the talk of love," he answered in his angelic voice,
"Before they outlaw the kiss, baby give me one last hug. There's
a moment I've been chasing and I finally caught it out on this
floor, baby there's no hesitation, no reservation bout taking a
chance and more." He paused, kissing me with everything he had
left, but then I continued.
"It's like an angel came by, and took
me to Heaven, because when I stare in your eyes, it's couldn't be
better." …Another kiss.
"Let the music blast, we gonna do our
dance, bring the doubters on, they don't matter at all." He
responded with another squeeze of my hand.
"Cuz this life's too long and this
love's too strong, baby know for sure," he paused, expecting me
to join once again, so I did, but not without finally shedding a