As being president there are responsibilities you must have. You must be loyal to your country. You must be willing to put yourself on the line. But in 2016 that is all going to change...
"Miss Gaga, you must decide who you want to be your running mate." one of my men told me.
"Boys, I am torn. I don't know who to choose, Katy Perry or Ke$ha." I told my men. "I guess I would choose Katy Perry. I need a vice president who doesn't bathe in alcohol."
"Bring in Miss Perry." my men told someone over their walkie talkie that is on his shoulder.
"I need to do something different with your outfits. It is not working for me. What size of bikinis do you wear?" I asked my men. As that was happening Katy Perry entered the room. "Hello running mate." I told her.
She was grinning from ear to ear. "Really? I am going to be your running mate? Awesome! I have so many ideas!" she was acting like a giddy school girl on crack. I liked it. It was original. I knew I made a good choice at this point.
"My fellow Americans, I came to this meeting for two reasons. To show of my new outfit. It is made of all diapers. Second of all I came to tell you what I would do if I was president of the USA. First thing I would do is abolish hate. Hate causes much of our problems. Hate causes war. Hate causes death. Hate causes hate. Second thing I would do as president would be casual Friday, Saturday, and Sundays: Lady Gaga Style. That means you would wear what you think I would wear. Make a jumpsuit that has rotating planets. Be creative. Third thing I would do is make Mondays: Musical Mondays. That means you sing instead of talk. Break out into song. I want you guys to pretend you are in West Side Story or Cats. Fourth thing I would do as president is make everyone equal to one another. No one is better than someone else." I look out into the sea of people and I noticed Alejandro and Judas. As they start playing my end of my speech music I start dancing. I jerk and twist like I do in my videos. Katy is waving at everyone and she thinks that this is Vaudeville. She has her cane and top hat.
"Hi everyone. I am Katy Perry. I am sure most of you know who I am. Who here has heard my song "California Gurls"? Yep, I did that song. Did you guys know that I am a firework? As vice president I would take orders from my lovely president. I would also help keep the peace. Lady Gaga and I are going to do a music video to stop the hate. The song's name is "Stop the Hate." Creative huh? I also want to change the fashion of the people. I want their outfits to be cut out people that are holding hands and peace signs. Also I want to change their guns into whip cream cans. The worst thing you can do to someone with whip cream is to make them diabetic. I just want to make this planet a better place to live." She does her Vaudeville stuff again right off stage.
We hugged because we nailed it. We have them in the palms of our hands. I pull out letters and spell them in our hands.
We watched the news to see who won the race. The guy on the news said it was close. There is no way Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie beat us, I kept telling myself. They are just to bimbo idiots. "Our President is... Lady Gaga!" I was so excited that I jumped up and down in my twenty foot high high heels. I think I broke something. I broke one of my men. "Katy, we won!" she started sing.
"This is the part of me that you will never take away from me."
I had to start singing too. "Just dance. Going to be okay. Got a do do. Just dance."
We won. We are going to be America's leaders.