Chapter One

Buffy Summers walked through the graveyard stake in hand. She sighed as her thoughts reflected back to last night. She was alone with Spike in his crypt something that often happened when they had been fighting together. He had just showered and had walked out dressed in nothing but a black towel he had smiled at her as he handed her a beer. She remembered thinking at the time that he was really hot for a dead guy this was something she often thought about but had never taking any further. “hey slayer” Buffy snapped out of her thoughts as she saw a rather evil looking vampire staring at her. She sighed and smiled when she saw what he was wearing it was like he had just stepped out of an old horror movie and a bad one at that. She held the stake in her hand as he walked towards her “OK look im tired and I have to get my sister up for school in the morning so can we despence with the whole talking thing and just fight” the vampire stared at her confused at this sudden outburst he shook his head and lunged toward her. A couple os seconds later Buffy pulled the stake out of the vampire,s ashes and sighed “that was to easy” she thought. She looked up suddenly realising that she out side Spike,s crypt she walked over and was about to knock when the door opened and Spike stared at her “Buffy hi what are you doing here is lillte Bitt OK” Buffy nodded she smiled at that Spike was always concerned about Dawn even more so since their mother had died. “no she is fine I just well I have finished patrolling tonight and thought you might need some company” Spike smiled at her “I was just going out but yeah sure come in” Buffy nodded to him and walked in for some reason lately this was where she had felt safe. She looked around and smiled to herself Spike had been cleaning a rare thing for a vampire to do although Angel used to but he was not a normal vampire. “would you like a drink” Buffy snapped out of her thoughts and smiled “please” Spike walked over to the fridge and took out two bottles of beer he handed one to Buffy she took it and sat down. Spike eyed her “hey what's up” Buffy sighed and opened her beer “nothing why” Spike shook his head he had known her to long to know when she was lying to him. He sighed and looked at her the years she had been fighting vampires were starting to show but to him she was still beautiful. “come on Buffy I know you what's wrong” she sighed and sipped her beer “just been thinking lately I don't feel like im needed any more I mean Willow has got Tara Xander has Anya they are getting married dawn is growing up fast and Giles well he isn't even here any more so what's the point” Spike sighed and shook his head he knew Buffy had always seemed to go through these moments. He put down his beer and knelt beside her “look pet just cause the scooby gang are all growed up doesn't mean they don't need you” Buffy shook her head “you don't get it Spike mum used to know what to do but I feel I just don't know any more” spike felt the sudden urge to hold her but stopped himself. “lillte Bitt still needs you your her big sister I mean you know what its like she is a teenager now and she thinks she doesn't need her big sis any more but deep down she does” Buffy looked into his eyes those soft brown eyes and she felt herself melting. She sighed again and stood up “look Spike im 23 I feel so old” spike laughed “old how the bloody hell do you think I feel then” Buffy smiled at him “at least you still look good I mean look at me” Spike looked her up and down and a small smile creped onto his lips “yeah you look good to me what's your point” Buffy shook her head “im to old to be fighting vampires and saving the world which by the way do I ever get a thank you no” spike walked over to her “look kitten your not old at least I don't see you as that you are still beautiful and sexy as the day I met you” Buffy looked at him surprised “you think im beautiful” Spike smiled “always have” he said but then felt himself blush “well I mean for a slayer any way” Buffy nodded “that's another thing im the slayer right I kill vampires I have died twice and im still here when other slayers have failed” spike sighed “and you don't think you should be right” Buffy again nodded “yeah because what makes me so different from other slayers” Spike shook his head this was something new she had never said this before. “I don't know luv I guess your stronger then the others I mean think about it you have fought some bloody weird bastards over the years right the master the mayor angelous me” Buffy laughed at him “Spike you cant compare yourself with them” Spike glared at her “and why not I killed two slayers don't forget just as tough as you” Buffy nodded realising she had hurt him. “OK fine but I mean the master killed me and I came back then Glory killed me and I still came back” Spike shook his head “ah yeah but the second time was cause of the scooby gang and their little spell” Buffy closed her eyes “that's what I mean the first time Xander brought me back then Willow but why” Spike smiled at that comment “because they are your friends and they care about you without you they are nothing I know this I have been on patrol with them” Buffy took a deep breath “I know I love them to but don't they realise that I would have been better of dead” at this remark Spike glared at her she saw the anger on his face “is that really what you want to be dead we were lost without you I saved you so many times im my sleep but when I woke up you were still gone it was hell without you Buffy I cant go through that again” Buffy looked into his eyes and saw the tears that had begun to form. She bit her lip realising that something had just passed between them she reached out her hand to touch his face but he backed away and walked toward the door “what I meant was we missed you your the slayer always have been” Buffy sighed and sat back down “I just don't want to be any more I want to be normal go out on dates like a normal girl” spike turned round and cocked his head “dates” Buffy nodded “yeah its been so long Spike that I felt a guy touch me” Spike suddenly felt very uncomfortable “well yeah we all need that right” Buffy again nodded “its always the same though I fall for the wrong guys first Angel” she heard Spike tut she shook her head “then Parker although not really a lasting relationship there then Riley” Spike smiled “better off without soldier boy luv” Buffy shook her head “no its me Spike I have someone good in my life and I just cant see it Ryly loved me and I treated him like crap” Spike sighed and knelt down beside her again “no your wrong he didn't realise what he had I mean if it was me I never would have left you to join some ponce army” Buffy again looked at him “ I know you wouldn't” Spike went to get up but Buffy took his hand “your the only one who has been there for me” Spike bit his lip “yeah well I guess I just felt right with you” Buffy smiled at him “I have been nasty to you over the years and im sorry” Spike shook his head “its aright luv don't mater to me you know that” Buffy held his hand “I know but you have never let me down when I have needed you you were there for Dawn when I was gone” Spike looked into her beautiful blue eyes “you asked me to protect her and I did job done I would say” Buffy shook her head “no its more then that you and I Spike we have been through a lot” Spike smiled “well yeah I tried to kill you for two years” Buffy sighed and touched his face “I don't mean that you not only protected dawn but you have been there for me when it felt like a needed you the most you have been a good friend” that was it the words Spike never wanted to hear from her lips. He took her hand away and stood up “well glad I could be of service to you” Buffy noticed the sudden change of emotion. She stood up and looked at him “Spike what is it did I say something wrong” Spike with his back to her sighed “no luv its fine really” Buffy confused stood looking at him “no really what did I say” Spike shook his head this was a conversation he never wanted to have with her. “its just” he turned round to face her and she saw the tears again in his eyes. “OK here it is I love you Buffy have done for a while now” Buffy stared at him “no you cant” Spike again shook his head “why not cause im not allowed cause im a vampire is that it well if it was good enough for Angel then why not me” Buffy sighed and walked towards the door but Spike grabbed her arm she glared at him “Spike let me go please” Spike held her tight “no not until you tell me why” Buffy sighed “why this isn't fair” spike smiled at her “fair you want to know what's not fair seeing you everyday knowing I can never touch you even when your mum died and we sat on the step all I wanted to do was hold you but I couldn't” Buffy looked at him “why not” Spike glared at her confused “what oh you bloody women what do you want from us” Buffy glared at him “if you wanted to hold me that night why didn't you” Spike again shook his head “because if I had attempted to you would have beat me to a pulp” it was then Buffy,s turn to glare “you really think that ,I had just lost my mother and you think I would have hurt you” spike shrugged “why not I had come there to kill you remember” Buffy nodded “then why didn't you why didn't you put me out of the pain I was going through” Spike saw the tears in her eyes and realised he had touched a raw nerve. “because I couldn't I was going to yeah but then I saw you sitting there alone and scared and all I felt was the pain you were going through” Buffy laughed at him “how the hell could you feel what I was going through your a vampire your whole exsistance is killing people you could never understand the pain of loosing the person you love” spike shook his head sadly and let go of her arm “that's where your wrong I have felt pain Buffy the night you died you didn't see what was left behind the tears the grief so don't you dare say I don't know what pain is” Buffy saw the tears roll down his face he turned away from her. “Spike im sorry” Spike held up his hand “just go” Buffy walked towards him and he turned to face her his eyes now red and angry his face had changed in to the vampire he hated to be. “please just go now” Buffy sighed and walked towards the door she turned towards him “your wrong I know what pain you were going through cause I saw it” then all Spike heard was the door slam he sat down and for the first time since Buffy had died he crumpled into a heap and cried.

Chapter two

Buffy opened the door and walked in the house was quite which meant Dawn was out again. She sighed and switched the answer machine on. “you have no new messages” Buffy sighed again and looked at the picture of her Dawn and their mum she quickly brushed the tears away and opened the fridge she closed it again and slowly walked upstairs she poked her head around the corner but Tara and Willow were out. She closed the door and opened the door to her room “Buffy” Buffy looked up to see Angel standing by the window. She switched on the light and run over to him he embraced her. She looked up at him and smiled “well your the last person I expected to see in my room” Angel smiled back at her as she distanced herself from him “not that im not pleased to see you cause iam but what are you doing here” Angel bit his lip “I had to come and see you its been a month since you came back im sorry I didn't come sooner” Buffy shook her head “no its fine really ive been kinda out of it lately any way so how are you” Angel smiled still his same old Buffy. “nothing much you” Buffy sighed and sat down “im fine no that's a lie im not” Angel looked at her concerned “can I help” she took his hand “no I don't think so I have to sort this one on my own but thanks” Angel saw the sadness in her eyes “OK maybe I cant help but you can tell me” Buffy nodded “OK but you wont like it” Angel sighed not liking it already “go on” Buffy sat back against the bed “its Spike he says he loves me” Angel sighed and shook his head “so that's the latest thing of his is it he cant kill you so he tells you he loves you” Buffy shook his head “he has changed Angel I think he is serous” Angel again shook his head “Spike serous that would be a first” Buffy glared at him “hey knock it off” Angel nodded “sorry but its Spike” Buffy sighed “I know but he is so different now we have fought along side of each other for quite a while and he has always protected me he even looked after Dawn while I was gone” Buffy then saw the hurt in Angel,s eyes” “I would have been there for her if you asked me” Buffy nodded “ I know you would have but you got your own life Spike was already here” Angel held her hand “I would have dropped everything to be here Buffy you know that” Buffy shook her head “would you I mean you have LA now and Cordelia could you have left that behind to look after a fifteen year old girl who had just lost her mother and then her sister” Angel looked at her “well I guess we will never know now will we” Buffy shook her head “so I chose the person who I knew deep down would not let me down” Angel sighed “so do you feel the same” Buffy stared at him “what no I don't know” Angel bit his lip and hung his head down “I think you do” Buffy lifted his head up “I don't know Angel but what if I do what is it to you” Angel sighed “I still love you” Buffy smiled “no you don't” Angel nodded “OK no I don't just thought if I said it you would change your mind about Spike” Buffy laughed “and what would you have done if I had said oh Angel I love you to” Angel smiled “don't know but Cordy would have killed me” they both looked at each other and laughed. Buffy leant over and kissed him on the lips “what's that for” he said Buffy smiled “that was for you being you” Angel beembed at her “no problem so what are you going to do” Buffy sighed feeling confused again “I don't know but I know I have hurt him I didn't mean to” Angel shrugged “he will get over it” Buffy punched him “be nice” angel nodded “sorry but its Spike I would have been less surprised if it was Xander” Buffy smiled “no he only had a crush on me in school” Angel nodded “yeah I remember good times” Buffy nodded sadly “yeah only wish I could go back to those times it was all so simple then” Angel looked at her and laughed “you call blowing up the mayor simple” Buffy shrugged “compared to what we have been through yeah” Angel nodded as he thought about what he had been through as well. Buffy looked at him “oh congrats on your son Conner isn't it” Angel looked at her surprised “yeah how did you know” Buffy smiled at him “Willow told me” Angel nodded “right well he hates me” Buffy looked at him confused “but he is only a baby” Angel laughed realising Buffy and the rest of them didn't know. “yeah he was he is 19 now” Buffy again looked confused Angel smiled “its OK it was an alternate universe kind of thing he got taking by holtz one of my many old enemy's took him away and he came back a teenager full of anger for me” Buffy smiled at him “well yeah you are his father only normal” Angel shook his head “holtz turned him against me he hates me now” Buffy bit her lip “sorry Angel” Angel sighed and shook his head “its fine it will be OK I guess” Buffy laughed “well there is me going on about Spike and all this happened to you” Angel nodded “its a grown-up world now Buffy we are no longer kids” at that Buffy smiled “you never were” Angel touched her face “I was when I was with you you made me feel young again”Buffy smiled at him and he again took her hand “I guess I should really be getting back before something happens here you know we will both regret” Buffy nodded and Angel stood up “oh get this thing sorted with Spike one way or another and if you are going to break his heart do it quick” Buffy to stood up “you mean like you did with me you mean” Angel sighed “Buffy you know I had to go I had no chose” Buffy nodded “I know but at the time I didn't see that” Angel kissed her head “take care of yourself and Dawn if you need me” Buffy smiled “go I will be fine” Angel nodded then left. Buffy sighed as she watched him walk away and suddenly she felt like a 18 year old girl again watching remembering the pain that she felt as the love of her life disapered into the night.

Chapter three

Buffy opened her eyes and looked around the sun was shining brightly. She yawned and groaned as she realised that she had fallen asleep in her clothes again rolled over and saw Dawn brushing her teeth in the bathroom Dawn looked at her and smiled “morning sleepy head rough night” Buffy stared at her confused “huh” dawn pointed her finger “your clothes you slept in them again” Buffy sighed and nodded sleeplessly. Dawn sighed and shook her head “you need a break from slaying” Buffy closed her eyes “that would be nice”she thought. She opened her eyes to see dawn staring at her she sat up “what” dawn only shook her head “im worried about you I mean when was the last time you had any fun” Buffy shook her head “I don't remember” dawn nodded “thought so look why don't you go and see Spike he always seems to make you smile although I can see why” Buffy saw the dreamy look on her younger sisters face “hey” she said Dawn snapped out of her thoughts “sorry but you got to admit he is hot” Buffy then cringed at her sisters words then smiled as she suddenly remembered saying the same thing about Angel. She looked at her sister then nodded “fine you win I will go and see him if it makes you happy” dawn smiled wrapped her arms around her big sister then left Buffy then sighed how could she go and see Spike after what she had said.

Spike sighed and looked into the empty bottle of vodka. “bugger its all gone” he thought he threw the bottle onto the floor and it hit the other four lying there. He looked down and shook his head “blimey all of those were full last night” he again shook his head and went to stand up then fell back down again suddenly realising just how drunk he really was. He shook his head again deciding to blame the sudden increase of achol on Buffy. “to right girl don't know when she has it good” he thought then smiled to himself “could show her a bloody good time if she let me trouble is she is to up herself” “Spike” spike looked up to see Angel staring at him he sighed “what the hell do you want mate cant you see im pissed off as it is without you coming here and” spike stopped and stared at him confused “hey wait what are you doing here”? Angel shook his head and walked over to him “I came to talk to you about Buffy” Spike sighed and tried to stand up but on the fourth attempt gave up instead he lit up a cigarette and shook his head “so what now you come back for her have you well fine she don't want me” Angel picked up the bottles and threw them in the bin. “no Spike I have not come back for Buffy I have Cordelia now” Spike again stared at him then smiled “Cordy well I never thought she had hit rock bottom when she went out with bug boy but you” Angel ignored him and walked over to the fridge he opened the door and sighed “stupid question I know but do you have any coffee” spike laughed then shook his head “why would a vampire need coffee im awake all night” Angel closed the door and from under his coat pulled out a small jar of instant he threw it at Spike “like I said stupid question here get that down you Buffy Is coming to see you and I don't want her seeing this” Spike shrugged “so what if she does she don't care about me” that was it Angel lost it he grabbed hold of Spike and looked him deep in the eyes “now get this through your thick skull Buffy cares about you more then she realises and if you really love her then you will sober up now got that” Spike nodded a little nervous of his elder. “right fine OK then let me go and I will try and sober up” Angel still holding him shook his head “no you wont try you will now go and have a shower you stink” he let go of Spike and helped him up. He stumbled into the down stairs bathroom. Angel sighed and started to clear up.

An hour later and Spike apered looking refreshed Angel smiled at him “feel more sober now” Spike nodded his head “yeah more,s the pity oh you cleared up thanks” Angel nodded then grabbed his coat “OK im going now good luck and go easy on her this is new to her to” Spike sighed “new you forget she dated a vampire before” Angel again nodded “yeah but she was young then and this time Spike I really think this girl loves you” Spike smiled and leant against the wall “I hope your right cause im telling you mate I never felt like this before not even with Dru” Angel walked over to him and put his hand on his shoulder “treat her well that's all I ask” spike smiled at him “you mean like you did then” Angel glared at him “that's low Spike even for you” Spike nodded “yeah sorry mate just not used to you being nice is all” Angel sighed “im getting old Spike and I need to know that Buffy will be safe” Spike stared at him “you going somewhere” Angel sat down “back in La we are heading for a battle and I don't think im coming out this time so promise me you will look after her” Spike looked at his predecessor and suddenly felt the need to hug him he quickly pushed that feeling away “not going down that road again” he thought instead he knelt beside him “come on Angel your tough you have fought so many battles before what makes this different” Angel shook his head “like I said im tired of fighting trying to keep my family safe a lot has happened since I moved to La I just wanna settle down with Cordy and be happy but some how I don't think that's going to happen” Spike touched his arm and both vampires felt something pass between them a feeling that was long gone. Angel looked into Spike,s eyes and saw the young fresh vampire he used to be. He smiled and touched his face “you have so much spirit in you Spike don't ever let that go” Spike nodded “so have you its just you feel confused at the moment its normal you know look you need to go back to La fight the big bad again then come back here and kick my arse just for fun” Angel smiled at him “as much as I would love to do that again I don't think it will ever happen” Spike saw the pain in his eyes and it was then at that moment he didn't care he reached out and embraced Angel and to his surprise he stayed in his arms. A few minutes later ad Spike let go of Angel “feel better now” Angel nodded “yeah thanks its been a long time since we were like that” Spike smiled “beats kicking your arse” Angel laughed “it does yeah but I admit I still like that good compation” spike looked at him “you mean im good” Angel nodded “oh yeah but you still have a lot to learn” Spike held his hand tight. “then teach me go fight then come back and be my master teach me to be as good as you if not better” he winked at Angel but Angel sighed “Spike I told you I just don't know OK I will think about it but no offence the only reason I would come back here is” Spike sighed “Buffy yeah I know I just hate to see the best vampire there ever was give up like this” Angel stared at him “the best wow that's different” Spike nodded “yeah well don't go bragging I have a rep to protect you know” Angel winked at him “no problem I wont tell anyone” Spike nodded and Angel stood up “well Spike I guess this is goodbye” Spike shook his head “no not goodbye just see you later OK” Angel nodded then grabbed the younger vampire and hugged him “take care Spike” Spike felt tears in his eyes he really was saying goodbye to a good friend. Angel let go and looked at him he smiled “well well the big bad vampire is just a kitten at the end of the day” Spike wiped the tears away that had formed in his eyes “ yeah and I have known you all of my undead life im gonna miss you OK” Angel smiled again “and in some small way I will miss you to” then no words were said between the two vampires but the looks said it all. Angel then did something Spike couldn't believe he leant over and kissed him full on the lips. Angel let go and smiled at him “take care my little Spike” Spike only nodded he was to overcome with emotion. Instead he just watched Angel walk slowly out of the door.

Chapter four

Buffy sipped her orange juice and sighed as her thoughts once again reflected back to Spike. Since she had come back he was all she thought about. she rested her hand on her chin and drifted. She smiled as she saw Spike in a black towel his muscles rippling as he walked over to the chair her heart beating faster as he bent down to kiss her. “shag pile” Buffy snapped out of her thoughts to see Xander looking at her “what” Xander smiled “got a new carpet Anya calls it her shag pile she said she heard Giles say it once and she liked the sound of it” Buffy relaxed “oh OK” Xander looked at her confused “where were you just now” Buffy bit her lip “oh know where just day dreaming is all” Xander smiled at her “well where ever you were it looked fun you were smiling something I haven't seen for a while” Buffy nodded “im sorry if I have been no fun Buffy lately its just hard coming back you guys have changed so much” Xander slipped his arm around her “yeah but we will always need the Bufster in our lives” Buffy smiled at him “he said you would say that” Xander stared at her “who did” Buffy then realised what she had said “oh er Giles I was talking to him last night” she lied. Xander nodded “makes seance English guy knows what he is talking about” Buffy nodded “ yeah look im going to go up and have a shower if Dawn comes in can you tell her that her Dinner is on the fridge” Xander smiled at her “yay pizza I think I will call Anya tell her I gotta work late” Buffy shook her head “OK have fun”

upstairs Buffy slipped out of her clothes and stepped under the hot shower. She closed her eyes and yet again Spike appeared in her mind she rested against the wall and let the hot water flow gently over her acking body. She sighed gently to herself this was the best she had felt all day but she knew tonight that she would have to go out and fight again and then tomorrow be in the same place as she was now. “Buffy Xander said to order pizza do you want any”? Buffy opened her eyes and shook her head “one moment thats all I ask” she thought she pulled back the curtain “no Dawn im going out wont be back till late just order for yourselves ok” she heard Dawn sigh followed by stomping down the stairs. She pulled back the shower curtain and slipped back once more under the inviting shower.

“you know I cant work her out” dawn said as she bit into her second piece of pizza. Xander looked at her “who” he said confused dawn sighed “Buffy who else I thought she would be happy to be back with us but she seems so down” Xander shrugged as he picked up the phone “ah Dawnie she is ok she just needs to find her feet again” Dawn sighed again and sipped her orange juice “yeah maybe your right I just think she needs to spend some time with Spike” Xander nearly dropped the phone “god god girl why would you think that he is the last person she needs to be with right now” Dawn glared at him “Spike was there for me when Buffy was gone he protected me and he cares about her” Xander sighed “Dawnie we were all there for you” Dawn shook her head “no you wasn,t you Willow Tara were all trying to think of bringing her back you didn,t once ask me how I felt Spike was the only one who understood” Xander put the phone down and looked at her “what we did was all to protect you we brought Buffy back to be with you again” Dawn shook her head “no you brought Buffy back because you felt useless without her not for me” Xander was about to answer when he suddenly noticed Buffy standing at the door he stood up “oh Buffy im sorry” Buffy looked at her sister then at Xander “its ok really” she walked over to Dawn and held her hand “Dawnie they brought me back so just be happy im here ok” Dawn sighed and shook her head “iam happy Buffy I just wish you know how happy we all are your back” Buffy kissed her on the head “i do know” she went to stand up “so why dont you show it then” Buffy looked at her little sister “i just cant right now so please give me time” Dawn sighed again and went back to eating her pizza Xander looked at Buffy and nodded as though he understood what she was going through. Buffy picked up her coat and looked once more at Dawn “i love you” she said but Dawn only nodded. Buffy sighed and opened the door into the cold crisp night air she closed it behind her and stood looking at the sky “why is my life so complicated” she thought she walked slowly down the road smiling as two young teenagers were kissing on a park bench. “don,t it warm your heart” Buffy turned round to see Spike looking at her she sighed “how long you been there” Spike shrugged “long enough pet” she reached out her hand to him “come on we need to talk” spike not sure of what to do simply walked beside her. Buffy sighed and turned to face him “spike what I said last night im sorry I know you missed me” Spike shook his head “ I didn,t just miss you luv it tore the heart right out of me to know I could have saved you” Buffy looked at him confused “how could you have saved me you fell from a tall building and was out of it” Spike sighed “Ok fine cant answer that one but still” Buffy only shook her head sadly “there was nothing you could have done but protect Dawn and you did that for me” Spike nodded “well yeah you asked me to you could have asked any of the scooby gang but you chose me” Buffy nodded “you want to know why I chose you and not them” Spike bit his lip not knowing what she was going to say “sure” Buffy touched his face “because out of everyone I know you would be the one I could trust to look after her” Spike felt a lump form in his throat “i would have died for her” Buffy smiled “ I know Spike and thats why I knew she would be ok that you would be there for her always” Spike sighed and held her hand “i know there are a lot of things you hate about me and I don,t blame you I have hurt a lot of people in my time but I have never felt love like I feel for you” Buffy looked into his eyes and sighed “i feel something for you Spike I just don,t know what” Spike moved closer to her and she closed her eyes “then follow your heart.” he whispered And right there in the middle of her road they kissed and for the first time since she came back Buffy felt truly alive.

The End

Or is it just the

Beginning ?

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE IMORTAL LOVE