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And what if?

By: VoodooShampoo

Page 1, Kirk and Han Solo in a parallel universe are different people than what they are known as in our own. How different are they really?

 

 

 

And what if?

 

 

In a place far, far away from all cosmic battles and quests to explore the endless space, lay a blue jewel in wait for it’s own inhabitants to make their first steps into the depths of the three dimensional seas where no one has been before.

 

Dim lights were bathing the bar, strong enough to make the hanged upside down glasses and bottles sparkle.

“Another ‘Cheerful Lava’ …” called out a ship captain to the barman. Cheerful Lava was the new rage amongst alcoholic drinks.

“Hey, why are you in such a hurry to get drunk? Take it easy, enjoy the calm evening while it lasts.” interrupted another ship captain.

The barman gave them both another round.

“Hey mate, you don’t want to be sober yourself.”

“Heh heh, touché! My name’s Han Solo I run a small business yacht.”

“Eh? You told me you were smuggling stuff on a small fisher boat from Japan over to America?” argued the barman.

“Nice! My name’s James Kirk. I have a large cruise ship of my own.” continued Kirk ignoring the host.

“Wait! Last time you said you got a large fisher boat and were transporting nutjob adventurers to cover the maintenance expenses!”

“Good god, you need to learn to treat your customers as kings!” retorted Kirk.

“Yeah! No wonder this island can only afford one hotel.” agreed Han.

There was no place for argument. He desperately needed the money so he silently took steps away from his hard spending guests.

“So what brings you here?” asked Kirk.

“I was trying to smuggle some nice stuff, but went into the dragon triangle when I had to escape from the coast guard.” He stopped to take a sip. “I don’t care if you believe me, but I am lucky to still be alive. Usually I don’t believe in stories spreading amongst captains, who just want to brag, but as I entered the triangle a large vortex formed in the middle of the sea and a huge saucer shaped object with glaring lights came out of the water. No idea how I managed to get away, but here I am.”

Kirk nodded to show he sympathizes with his fellow sea traveler.

“I was in the Bermuda today, just crossed the Panama channel running away as if the devil was chasing me. Had a similar encounter.

“Hey come back here and fill up the glass!”

“Honestly, I just want to forget the whole thing and pretend I was really drunk.”

“Well then Han Solo, let’s drink to being drunk and pretend it didn’t happen!”

They joked, they laughed, they sang, and were happy over the chance encounter. They could be best friends for life.

“Pop up the volume! Up! Up! OH MORE!” they tried to follow the fast paced song’s lyrics. All of a sudden a little grey man with a huge head, big eyes and frail small body entered and sat next to Han Solo.

“Host! A beer please!”

“Wow I am really drunk! I see one of those grey aliens at the table!”

“Whoa! I am seeing it too. Must’ve drunk way too much!”

“Hey don’t be rude. He comes from a planet far, far away in Zeta Reticuli.” interfered the barman with a frown on his face.

“Hi folks, my name’s Bill! It’s a lovely night sky outside, agreed?”

Both captains stood up, smashed the money for the drinks on the table and walked out with expressions of disgust on their face.

“Is it because I am naked?” asked the little grey man.

The bartender lift his shoulders. For him Bill looked like any other grey alien and not very outstanding from the other alien species visiting his bar.

 

As they stepped outside the bar on Easter Island, they gazed upon the stone figures decorating the entrance and then looked up at the clear sky.

“Kirk, don’t you dream of traveling through the stars?”

“Don’t we all? And what if in a different time, a different universe we two are captains over starships, exploring the countless islands in this dark void?”

“I can bet on anything, in that universe we show the aliens what real captains are all about.” grinned Han Solo.

“You know if the alien is inside the bar, doesn’t that mean his ship must be around here somewhere?”

“Sure we could find it very easy, but can we outsmart advanced beings?”

“I don’t believe in no win situations. Do you Han Solo?”

“It has to be our destiny! Let’s prove we are not a ‘dumb and dumber’ duo.”

 

All humans of earth were soon to find out that no dream is too big for those ambitious enough.

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