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A piece of a book I'm writing

Book By: chinchilla1234

This is a piece of a book I'm writing. Please give back some feedback on it and tell me what you thing. I've never really wrote a book before but since I read so much I figure that I should try..

Submitted:Jun 8, 2013    Reads: 5    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   

He was sitting in the darkest corner of the room. His knees where folded up to his chest and his arms where hung around his legs. His head was down and he wasn't moving. I froze at the doorway not knowing whether I should enter or not. I shifted my weight onto my other foot and the worn down floorboards started to creak. His head shot up and stared right into my eyes. He slowly started to get up, and for a split second I thought I saw something like excitement in his face but it vanished and his face looked worried. "What are you doing here?" He started to swiftly cross the room towards me. " I told you to forget about me." When he started to move closer to me I noticed how bad he truly looked. His V neck grey sweater and blue jeans were torn in several places, and covered in a mix of crusted blood and dirt. You could tell by his facial hair that he hasn't been able to shave, because his usual clean smooth face was sprouting hair. His once bright shinning eyes looked tired and sleepy, his perfect nose bent a little possibly broken and lips that used to be moist and soft were now cracked and dry. I looked straight into his eyes when I said " you know I will never leave you" even looking like this he still was alluring and it took all my will power to not run into his muscular arms and lean up against his build broad chest. "Just like you will never leave me" as soon as I said it, I studied his face hoping it would give me a sign to whether its true or not. I was right once his face looked softened and he took two steps across the area that separated us and bunched me into his arms. " I would never leave you, never" he was whispering it in my hair. "Never" I started to think maybe he was saying it more to himself then to me, but I didn't care I was so glad to finally have him back with me. Even thought we weren't out of the clear yet. We where still in the basement of the broken down jail. A sucker could pop in at anytime and get us. When he took a step back and looked at me I took a moment to look at him again and he looked so fragile and vulnerable. I started to wonder if he thought I wasn't going to find him or that I would give up. All the sudden a scream down the hall made us both jump. He pushed me behind him as if he could take on the attacker and keep me safe. I pushed back at him and stepped beside him ready to fight anything that tries to get us. .. But nothing came, it was back to being a creepy silence were the only noise was our breathing. "We better get out of here before they actually find us" I said to him while I still stared at the open door. He looked down and me and said "yeah that's a smart idea, do you have any extra weapons?" His voice sounded deep, when did it get so deep? I glanced at him quickly and the corner of my mouth went up into a half grin. "What kind of question is that?" I asked him as I was reaching in my small backpack "of course I brought your special weapon" as I said it I pulled out two pairs of num chucks and handed them to him. Then I pulled out my sword, the light seemed to bounce off it and reflect onto the walls. He stared down at the num chucks then a slow smile appeared on his face. "You know me so well" then he backed up and started showing of some cool tricks Even thought they were cool, we needed to leave as soon as possible. " are you really doing that now?" I said " we need to leave, like now!" I didn't want to ruin the fun he was having after being stuck in this room for a month. He stopped and looked serious again " I'm practicing quick to make sure I can still use them, yeah I might have started to have fun and be happy that we might actually stand a chance of getting out of here alive together" as soon as he said it I felt bad for saying anything at all. " come on, lets go" he said " we have allot of walking to do" he started walking and I followed him out the door.


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