''Poison wake up now!!!'' Nicolas growled loudly pulling out of his bed ''What,why whats wrong?'' I said as I stood infront of him feeling frighten and confused. ''What is this!!!?'' He shouted at me tossing a notebook at me,it hit my chest and I caught it and flipped it over. It was my journal that I kept hidden '''It's......my journal....how did you get this?'' I asked shocked and nervous ''Thats not inportant,now read the last page'' He hissed,I'd never seen him so angry,His red eyes seemed to be on fire, his spiked like long hair almost overing one ''I don't need to read it I know what it-'' I tried to say He walked over to me I continued to step back as he did until I slammed back into the wall ''Read it now''' He shouted into my face.I opened the notebook, and flipped to the last page I wrote on :
Today I woke up feeling out of sorts,guilty and horrible I have sex with a another Vampire it was Zachary the one that stayed in the room across from Nicolas's,him of all people. Him and Nicolas never got along I sensed this tension that was silent and unspoken when I saw the way they looked at eachother. I'd never had feelings for another Vampire only Nicolas.I don't understand why but I enjoyed it his was different not the way Nicolas his,he was kind and concerned even allowing me to drink from him to help sped up the recovery of the wounds Nicolas left on me. I accepted,I kept looking over at the door waiting for Nicolas to walk in and punish me for just being there without his knowing.Zachary offered me some zodka and he played music....with one with the ablities to read minds I enjoyed the fact he knew what I liked.I felt human again,more then ever knowing he was being so charming to get one thing out of me he didn't want to force it out of me but I knew very well he could if he wanted to but refusing a Vampire brings bad things he would have got what he wanted and punishing me for refusing in the first place ,he'd either threaten to tell Nicolas or actually walk across the hall and tell him I was there my self horrifyed at the idea. I didn't know what I wanted to do I liked to be punished but I didn't want to hurt Nicolas like that I never thought of intentionally hurting him for him to hurt me more..he is cruel and I never forget I found it refreshing and daring,being the pet of a monster one that could rip me apart with his bare hands any day of the week and wouldn't think twice about it ,He sat beside me caressesing me tell me Nicolas didn't deserve such a wonderful pet I glanced over at him my thoughts and eyes begging him not to make me do this but he didn't care he kissed me and I didn't fight him we had sex not passionate not rough just wrong....when he was finished with me he told me to go and maybe we could see eachother again.I obeyed and rushed out of the room as fast as I could.....when I got into the hall I saw Kat coming to to go see him,I could see by the look on her face she knew and she started to tear I had always had a thing for her but it was never anything that could happen in reality, I didn't speak I just ran the other way all the way to my room,when I got there I sat in my bed scared,scared that it might of ment something I tried to shake it off but the next night every time I finally forget about it I'd see Kat or Zachary I flinched and tried to avoid them as much as possible maybe I'm going crazy I just don't know whats wrong with me..''