I was startled. How on Earth could somebody as fantastic as him, like someone as boring, ugly and stupid as me? It seemed improbable. No, Laurel. Just shut up and stop being so negative, you’re clearly not that bad …
I looked from Maggie to Justin who gave me a shy wave. “Are you serious?”. She nodded stiffly then looked my direction and sighed. “I don’t know what to do now Maggie.” I whispered. “How do I face him?” She looked at me with pity in her eyes, but shook it off.
“Laurel, you’re a beautiful girl, and you should be glad he likes you. Pretty much everyone in the school likes you.” She replied. “Anyhow you just have to get used to it I guess. Like how I have to get use to him liking you.” She breathed in deeply.” Anyway, it was nice seeing you, but I really have to go.” She said before kissing both of my cheeks, I smiled in return. Yeah, really got to get used to that now I’m in France.
After my short conversation with Maggie I was determined to make me and Justin’s friendship work, and maybe one day if things changed, well I guess it would be for the better. I fixed my hair in a single movement of the hand before approaching Justin where he sat. He looked up at me with those deep, blue eyes; that I really loved. He sorta reminded me of one of my best friends back in England, who looked nearly like him, except he had blonde hair and green flecks in his eyes.
With Justin he had really pale skin, sort of the like snow, and dark blue eyes that looked like the ocean on a stormy night. Most of the time he wore a V-neck shirt with formal pants and sometimes even a tie. He didn’t wear glasses that much, only when he was reading, but in my opinion he looked great with and without them.
I slumped down on the seat next to him and gave him a short smile. What was I suppose to say? Should I just keep on going how we use to and pretend I never heard a thing? Or maybe I should just be upfront and explain my feelings towards him and nothing more? I pulled out a bottle of water and took a gulp before turning around to him. “Hi.” I said, trying to sound as normal, non-effected as possible. “So, Maggie told me why you guys … broke up.” I finally admitted while casually returning my lips the to the drink bottle to pretend that it didn’t bother me. In fact, I’m not entirely sure if it does bother me, I just don’t know how to react.
I guess I knew he sort of liked me, deep down I knew. He gave off a lot of subtle hints, but I just pretended they were nothing. After all I remember one time in Primary I thought this guy (Ramond) liked me, when in fact he just wanted to be my best friend. That’s whom I was talking about before, the guy with blue eyes and blond hair, y’know? Anyway I guess things are different now, and I just have to deal with it. “Oh, she told you?” He said, now quite shy. I could tell he was blushing as a red shade appeared on his neck, and eventually on his cheeks. It was kind of cute I must admit.
“Not exactly.” I stifled a laugh. “I asked her why she dumped you, and I guess she told me the full story. Which you didn’t.” I said, with curious eyes. “But I just want to let you know that it’s fine with me. But. I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship right now. There’s so much going on in my life, that I’m confused about. Like, my mother. I haven’t even seen her for weeks now.” I said, as a tear fall down my cheek. He didn’t wipe it away. If he did, I probally would of moved his hand.
“I’m really sorry about that.” He said, now looking down at his palms. At this point I felt terrible for bringing my issues onto him, so I gave him a soft pat on the back and told him it didn’t matter. He obviously thought it did as he wrapped his arms around my waist and began to cry himself. I have no idea why he was crying, but I thought I’d be best if I just hugged him back and listened to him for once.
“I didn’t mean to do it.” He said softly. Not sure who he was talking to, but I assumed he was talking to himself (again). “I’m so sorry.” He whimpered. I pulled him closer and rested my head on his shoulder, giving off a quick sigh. After a while of his continuous sobbing he pulled away and looked at me. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you Laurel.” He said as he looked into my eyes deeply. This made me shudder.
“What do you mean Justin?” I said, now very confused. Once again. Nothing in my life never made any sense, and right now I was more confused then ever. “It’s alright, whatever it is. I forgive you.” I said as I placed my lips to his cold cheeks. “Let’s get you home, you’re a wreck.” I said, trying to fake a smile.
When I got to my car I unlocked it quickly and ushered Justin into the front seat, and pulled out of the School car park. Thank god we were in College, because they don’t really care if we go to school or not once we reach a certain age. Actually, some of my teachers don’t mark our class role anymore. I think it’s suppose to be some sort of maturity thing, any who that didn’t really matter. All that mattered to me now, was to make Justin feel better. Obviously something was bothering him, and since guys don’t cry much, it must be really bad.
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I pulled onto the main street, and headed past the local coffee shop and the general store, and then went left. On the first day of school Justin told me he was renting an apartment at the “Griffoure Inn” which wasn’t very far from school. Soon enough we were pulling into the car park. I took my keys out and turned to him.
“Bad.” He whispered. I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the car and lead him to the room (74), which he was currently staying in. As we walked in I looked around the room to see a small, old fashioned apartment with a nice view looking out over the ocean. There was a mini fridge, and his bed all cramped into one room, and then there was another room which I assumed was his bathroom, at the moment I didn’t bother to check.
I looked out of the window and saw waves roughly smashing against the shore, and clouds threatening to storm over the small town we lived in. I turned to him and decided I should probably say something as we hadn’t talked since being in the car. But for some reason, I had no idea what to say. It was as if this lump in my throat was blocking any noise from coming out. Now, being here in his small room, I felt sort of claustrophobic, and awkward and all these strange thoughts that I didn’t want in my head.
Justin was the first to say something, and thank god he broke this silence between us, because I certainly did not have the nerve too. “I’m feeling a bit better.” He said looking out over the ocean, thinking about something that I couldn’t possibly imagine. He turned back to me before clearing his throat. “Did you want a drink?” He asked quietly, averting his gaze from mine, avoiding something.
“Sure.” Was all I could manage, and thankfully that was all that needed to be said. He passed over a cold can of sprite before opening his own one and taking a sip and putting it down. He then walked around his room trying to find something to do instead of talking to me, well so I assumed. No, he wouldn’t do that. He must just have something going on in his life that is giving him a hard time.
And like him, so did I. I was worried where my mother was, I kept having nightmares of her dying, and now I’m starting to think that she’s not coming back. Later that night I talked to my dad about the dreams I was having. “Honey. Your not like everyone else.” He said, before thinking of what to say next. “You’re physic. You can see things in your dreams, that most of the time, may actually be real.” He said, with a single tear escaping his eyes. “It hasn’t been confirmed. But, I do think that something has happened, and whatever it is, your not going to like it.”
This broke me.